Flying Frank - The Dog with the Blog

Ruud boy

2007-11-16T10:49:00.001-08:00

Yo Flying Fans,

Hope you are all OK, as for me, well it's a pretty slow life these days. I am just chilling my boots in my home in Middlesex with my fellow doggies. Nothing like being a racing greyhound. I do sometimes reminisce about the days when Jono Coleman, my erstwhile trainer, would come round with the mustard, give me a little rub and off I went. Now, no such luck - although there was some talk of overseas travel, it didn't quite transpire in the way I had hoped. I got down to the final 50 celebs for 'I'm a celebrity', alongside Bubble from Big Brother, Floella Benjamin and Orville out of Keith and Orville. It didn't quite happen for me though and the Producers didn't select me in the - something about having enough dogs in there already?

Anyway, I was pretty devastated with that so I decided to go abroad anyway for some R & R. I headed to LA where I knew I would be able to see alot of my old homeboys. Of course, I couldn't possibly comment as to whether I saw David Beckenham, LA's most famous resident...but seeing as he used to be a glass collector at Walthamstow and I used to race at Walthamstow...as they say in LA, you do the math! Anyway, what I can tell you is whilst I was there I did bump into my old chum Ruud Gullit, who is now manager of the LA Galaxy. You can see him here in an exclusive pic. he's a good mate is Ruud but I think he's got a little confused in his message....I've already got a home! He knows that already, I dread(lock) to think what else he forgets...he is Dutch, so maybe he's been spending a little too much time in one of the Dam's Coffee shops, if you know what I mean...obviously my lawyers (Ruff Justice - "No Dog too small) have asked me to point out that he most definitely would only ever drink coffee in an Amsterdam coffee shop...but you get my drift.

Anyway, I have actually just heard back from a World Famous celebrity dog - more of that in my next post

For now...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Anyone for Svennis?

2007-10-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

Hey Flyer-lovers,

It's just a quick note, really.

I wanted to give my two penney worth on all the 'fakery scandals' that seem to be being reported in the papers at the moment. One minute GMTV, the next Radio One, then Blue Peter - they all seem to be conning their fans with stories that are not all they seem.

I just want to reassure my supporters that there will be nothing of the sort going on at Flyingfrank.com . I would never resort to faking-up things and deceiving my loyal fans.

That was it really - oh, see above celebrity message I received only this week from my best friend in the world, Sven Goran Eriksson.

Peace. Love. Woof

Flying Frank

Dilly Dally-ing

2007-09-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hey All,

Seeing as it's the start of the Rugby world Cup this weekend, I thought I would show you the message I received from one of my closest mates in the business - Lawrence Dallaglio ('Lolly' as I know him). From the time I have spent with him, I know he is desperate to bring home the bacon from France (DON'T get me started on the French!) and I hope he can. I've always had time for one of the most amenable guys in the game. he is such a clever guy - an articulated Lawrie, if you like - and I want to wish him and the other fellas the best for the World Cup. Come on England (apologies to all the Scottish, Welsh, Irish and Tongan followers) !

In other news, I am continuing to settle into my new domestic life. I had a great night out this week at the Mercury Music Awards. I've got a really close friend in the music business who invited me down (he's the dog in the HMV adverts, although I go way back with Amy Winehouse too, incase you were going to say it) - did we down a few bowls of water or what? We had an absolute ball and the only shame was that my oldest friend in the business - Snoop Dogg - didn't show. The rest of the week has been pretty straightforward - just a whirlwind of pup-lic appearances, after-dinner speaking and smelling my own produce. Like any other week, really.

Speak soon guys, increase the peace.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Magic-mix

2007-08-24T10:34:00.001-07:00

Hey Ho my big dog-loving public,

Me again, the bad boy of the track turned bad boy of , er, Middlesex. Oh yes.

Just wanted to share with you another picture of one of the various hotties that stalk me morning, noon and night. Incase you are not sure, the picture above is of the UK's most prominent Magician's WAG - The lovely Debbie McGee. Not only is she the wife and assistant of hocus-pocus merchant Paul Daniels but she also loves doggies. Not alot of people know that. Me and The Mcgheeabantor go way, way, way back - she is a Diamond Mcgheezer, as is her old man to be fair (when he's not up to his old tricks!) .

If I ever need a Rabbit pulling out of a hat (mmmmm, rabbit), need slicing in half or need a little piff-paff-poofing, P-Danny and his Mrs are my men.

Just thought you might like to see it...off dogging now...have a good bank holiday weekend everyone, love you all

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Denise-y does it

2007-08-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

Greetings Doggers!

Since the last time I blogged, I have undergone a quicker change than Nadia from Brother. After I got left Jono's kennels, I had to make the change from professional athlete to man-about-town, regular member of the public. Gone are the late nights, VIP (very important pup) passes and travelling everywhere by private Ford Transit Vans. Furthermore, now that I am out of the spotlight, no longer are the ladies trailing me, in the hope that they will be The Flyer's latest squeeze. Hee hee, just kidding...that last bit is a complete lie - of course they are. Apart from that, though, what I'm trying to say is that I have had to become normal little doggie with a normal little life.

To tell you the truth, I did struggle a bit at first and it has taken me a while to become domesticated.....yes, I do mean domesticated...and yes, I have been doing that...right in the middle of Sunday lunch last week (bit embarrassing).

It's not just that though, it's the pace of life that has taken me a bit by surprise, although there has been one bright light in my life since I became a homeboy...Denise Robertson, who I have a picture of above. For those of you that don't get to catch daytime TV, Denise is the Agony Aunt on 'This Morning' and is always on-hand to help people with their problems. Just seeing her on telly, helping people with their problems - be they ones of a personal or sexual nature, or just plain old genital warts - really helps me. Since I first saw her on telly, I got in touch with her and she has been able to help me personally. If you catch my drift. Because if there is one thing she is, it's a lady of considerable experience!

She has been helping people with their problems for years and let's just say that I couldn't have done it without Denisaldinhio (as I call her). She has been a great source of comfort to me as I try and slip into day-to-day life in my new home. There is alot to get used to, I can tell you.

Speaking of which, it's probably about time I got you a photo of how I am settling in. I will sort one out very shortly!

In the meantime,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank PR

P.S. – The Flying Frank Facebook club is now up to 640 members!

Out on a Tim

2007-07-06T10:11:00.001-07:00

Hello Flyer-Fans,

Well it's fair to say that retirement is being kind to me. when I announced a couple of weeks ago that my racing career was at an end, I knew there would be doubters. I knew there would be those who thought I'd be a failure. I knew there were those who thought my celebrity friends would desert me.

Well I've only gone and rubbed their noses in it with a picture from famous-as-famous-can-be-don't-you-know-who-I-am-Yes-Sir-you-ARE-on-the-guest-list Timmy 'Timbo' Mallett!

Timbo and I go way back and as soon as he heard about my retirement, he got back in touch. Contrary to popular myth, Timbo has gone from strength to strength since he has disappeared from Network TV. He performs live EVERY Friday and Saturday night (you can catch him at Liquid in Hanley on August 16th, followed by Pontins, Pakefield on October 27th) and he is also a massive star in Burkino Faso and The Gambia and is on both advertising billboards in Turkmenistan.

I guess the main reason for his message - and what a message it is - is to make sure I am OK and fully prepared for what the big old world has planned for me. Actually, he gave me a few bits of advice which I include here:

Timmys Top 5 tips for coping with life after fame:

1) Use the extra gaps in your diary to spend more time with your loved ones (believe me, the bitches in the kennels are already forming a queue for some Flyer Love for my next visit)

2) Don't let the doubters grind you down (exactly what I think Timbo - one mans ITV is another mans TV Travel Shop)

3) There is always Pontins in Pakefield

Unfortunately, Timmy's five tips are incomplete because they stopped there. Hey ho, he probably got called out to some important public appearance or meeting with a Television controller or some such.

Anyway, I only wanted to show the message cos I was so thrilled with it.

there's been lots going on with my new life, new home and new career. You never know, I might be sharing it with you some time soon!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Oooh Ahhh

2007-06-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

The Media bandwagon rolls on....see the Daily Star Sunday announce my retirement this weekend. The dog and bone has been red hot!!!

The Sun - I love it

2007-06-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

My 'top dogs' at The Sun Online have been one of the first to write an article on my retirement. You can read the full piece - and see a slideshow - at http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,3-2007270301,00.html

Peace. Love. Woof

The Finish Line

2007-06-11T08:29:00.000-07:00

Every dog has it's day - an open letter to my fans

Change isn't good or bad. It's just the way of things. Nothing stays the same.
- Anonymous -

To my wonderful army of 'Triple F's' (Friends of Flying Frank),

This is the moment I have been dreading. The inevitable. I haven't written a blog for so long because I have been dreading this moment. I have not felt this sick since that visit to the Starlight Burger & Kebab House down on Hoe Street.

So I'll get on with it:

I'm out of the traps forever.

Yes, it's true. I've been forced into an early retirement from the world of professional greyhound racing because of a career-ending injury.

My keenest fans will recall that I sustained a shoulder injury after being bumped jumping hurdles on the third bend on the 9th January 2007, in what turned out to be my final race on my home track of Walthamstow. Following that, Jono, my trainer, advised a couple of months of rest, through which the shoulder recovered and I managed two trial races in March. It wasn't the same though. After a further period of rest, a vet confirmed the worst: I had flown round The Stow for the last time. I have sustained permanent damage to my Achilles tendon and so my racing career is over.

For those of you into a bit of nostaligia, my owners at Frank PR have written this little biography of me:

In a career that started on February 17th 2005, Flying Frank won 15 of his 56 races.

When he began his career he started his now world famous website – www.flyingfrank.com – and as a result he has attracted a huge legion of celebrity fans that have appeared on it. These include Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard, Anthea Turner, Michael Vaughan, Lorraine Kelly, Lenny Henry, Jimmy Carr, Miss Dynamite and Amir Khan.

Graham Goodkind, Chairman of Frank PR, the owners of Flying Frank, said: “After some intense speculation over the past couple of months I can confirm that Flying Frank has retired from the world of professional greyhound racing due to an injury sustained in action. However, I can also reveal that we have been busy working with him on what his next career steps are to be. He has no plans to just bow out of the public spotlight and is planning a major project that will excite and probably surprise his fans. Now he doesn’t have the structure of a training schedule any more, he will some more time to meet his public and work on his future away from the track. In the meantime, he will also be available for public appearances, store openings, weddings, barmitzvahs and after dinner speaking engagements.”

Flying Frank will be leaving Claverhambury Kennels, John Coleman’s training headquarters next week. He will be moving to an address in Bushey, Hertfordshire, that cannot be revealed due to his request for some privacy at this emotional time of his life.

Very nice chaps, thank you.

Friends - as you can imagine, this is incredibly hard for me. As my man Graham says above, there is alot planned for the future. I am holding my cards close to my chest right now but, amongst other things, I am intending to father a couple of hundred or so children. Bit of luck there will be a Greyhound Derby winner in there somewhere. Something his Old Man couldn't quite manage.

So: Thank you for your unstinting support over the years. This is the beginning of the next phase for The Flyer and, with your support, it can be huge. I will be updating you about my new life and everything we have planned right here at http://www.flyingfrank.com/ . You can also email me at woof@flyingfrank.com

As always,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Read all about it

2007-04-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

Well, now you know people, I have really hit the big-time now...fresh from my celebrity liaisons on the dance floor at Charlie Chan's, my cameos on WAGS boutique and my guest appearances on Dogtor Who (possibly all true), I have now transferred my fame over to the national newspapers. On Saturday, I sat down for my morning constitutional, with my usual two reads - The Daily Star and The Financial Times. Imagine my surprise when I opened the former and discovered a very familiar face staring back at me....That's right....and straight after looking at page 3, I flicked a little further back in the paper and saw that news on me and my celebrity fans was run over a full page!

I have attached the picture above so you can see it good and proper...what a wonderful thing to happen and you can see that there are pics of some of my best buds in the world. I tell you, soon after this appeared, the old dog and bone didn't stop ringing and the emails to woof@flyingfrank.com have been plentiful too!

Anyways, I just wanted to log on quickly to tell you that whilst I am working my way through endorsement proposals, book offers and exclusive deals with OK! and Woof! magazine, I haven't forgotten about you, my fans.

Keep it all coming people!

Peace. Love. Woof.

P.S. - I raced in a trial last week - should be back in the traps shortly!

P.P.S. - A Big Lower-Thames-sized 'shout out' to my main homie and new Triple F (Friend of Flying Frank) Li-Harr for her efforts this week

Gough Mixture

2007-03-16T10:39:00.000-07:00

Little update for you...

Well, whilst my racing career hasn't exactly been flying of late, I can report that my Facebook club is going from strength to strength- 114 members at the last count. Things are really going great at the moment on there - if you are not on there yet declaring your undying love for me (why not??!), then do so! Just go onto www.facebook.com and then search for me. I should come up first.

In the meantime, I'm happy to tell you that this loverlee message snuck it's way into my inbox this week. Great timing, what with the Cricket World Cup in the West Indies and all. As you can see, it's me old China Plate, 'Dazzling' Darren Gough who's sent a message. Tell you something, I really Gough my cap to him, as he is a top bloke, a really wicket fella (as he says in the photo). Although we still go out looking for a couple of bouncers, we go way back do me and Dazzler, and now that he is a 'Strictly Come Dancing' Champion and I still love him - waltz and all.

Anyway, as you can probably guess, I am less than happy about not racing. Rest assured though that this is not a permanent thing - I will be back soon, better than ever, so watch this space - and keep emailing me at woof@flyingfrank.com

Speak soon,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Good looking, what you got Facebooking

2007-03-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

Hello Hello Hello,

Well, there is good news and there is bad news...

The bad news is that my Raison d'etre, my vocation in life, my purpose, my reason for being, is still forbidden. Yep, I haven't raced for two months, since January 7th. The answers to your questions are: the cold, yes it is, I don't know and Roast Dog.

The good news is that my enforced absence has enabled me to discover a new passion in life....the wonderful world of Facebook. Being a cool dude who is down with the puppies, I pride myself on being up-to-date on the sickest trends (If you are a youth, sick means good, not vomit by the way) and there aint none as sick as Facebook. It's like a whole new world and anyone who is anyone has a Facebook presence. Infact, I was alerted to it by my main homeboy, Peter Beardsley, who you can see in the picture above. Not only did he used to play football for England, but he is well in touch with what is hot and what is not. Evidence is what he has written in his message - "Good to see you in toon". P-Beardy (as I call him) has a way with words and not only does he mean stay in touch with Newcastle United (who he played for and are nicknamed 'Toon') but he also means stay in tune with the youth and all things Bear (again, a youngsters word for 'good', not a big fat grizzly thing that ate Goldilocks). Facebook is indeed bear, P-Beardy. Clever.

My main presence on www.facebook.com is the fan club that has been set up by my devotees - you can access it by typing in Flying Frank or otherwise, this link might work. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2247087519 . It's the second best place in the world (after www.flyingfrank.com ) for my devotees to come together so make sure you get on, join up and let everyone else know too.

Right, got to go to the loo (mustn't forget my Andrex again)...bye for now.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Roy the Boy

2007-02-23T10:12:00.000-08:00

Now, I can see that instantly you may well have a few questions as you are reading the start of this blog. Well let me stop you right away pardner, and answer them:

1) No, I'm still not racing. It's been seven weeks now. Or, to put it another way, 45 days. That's 1015 in dog days you know.

2) No, it's not a waxwork in the picture. That is in fact the Grrright Honourable Gentlemen, Mr 'Raving' Roy Hattersley, or The Raver, as I call him. For those of you who are not sure, The Raver is a politician and was deputy leader of the Labour party for many years.

He's now retired and since then we have become good mates (we often get together for a Mass Debate). His message isn't a straightforward one as you can see, and touches a nerve actually. No, I can't read it either (but that's the Raver!) but it says something to the effect of "I hope that when you retire, they don't put you through the mincer". As if! The Raver obviously hasn't been down to the Claverhambury Kennels...Jono my trainer loves his dogs, we all get treated really well, looked after, fed properly etc etc. In fact, because I'm not racing at the moment, they have told me that if it is really getting me down, and if I am still not racing in a couple of months time, they will send me on an all expenses-paid holiday to Korea! You can't get looked after much better than that now can you?

I suppose the only other thing you probably want to know is WHY I'm not racing right now. To tell you the truth, this cold weather doesn't really agree with me. I am very much a warm-weather racer and if you look back at my statistics, you will see that I took a few weeks out on the beach at this time last year. In many ways, I should be a Barbados-based greyhound, but somehow I ended up in Walthamstow. Nevertheless, Jono tells me that a week or two and I should be back in fighting form. Flippin bored not racing at the moment, though! There is only so much Sudoko a dog can do! I've also been on a couple of dates as well (ALOT of women like the ruff and ready type) but I just can't wait to get back in the traps again.

Soon, hopefully. Paws crossed.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Vaughan and Bred

2007-02-08T11:33:00.000-08:00

Hiya - I won't lie to you, it aint a great time for me right now. For some reason, I'm not racing which, as well as meaning I am stagnating and not earning any money, it also means I don't have too much to write about on my blog.

I'm pretty down at the moment, I tell you - luckily though an old Pedigree chum of mine, England Cricket Captain Michael Vaughan, popped a message in the other day - you can see it in the picture, "You're a Vaughn winner", it says. Interestingly, he can't spell his own surname. Even so, me and the Vaughan-meister go along way back - we often sit around chewing the fat, sinking a few pints and taking the Michael out of people. He's a Vaughan winner that boy is and...and I can't say too much here...he certainly knows how to bowl a maiden over! He never seems to know where he is going though....sorry, the details are classified, but put it this way - his Dography is awful!

At least he has a left a message of encouragement which, in these hard times, is like manor from heaven for a mutt like me...you can also keep them coming to woof@flyingfrank.com

I hope and pray with all my heart that the next time I write I can tell you of news about my next race...fingers, toes, paws, everything crossed.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

The life of Ryan

2007-01-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

Watcha,

Well, listen I suppose first things first. I've got to say something about the picture that is beneath this posting. She's been in the news alot recently, has Miss Lloyd, and you are probably expecting the usual fare from me about her. The whole thing has been a bit unsavoury hasn't it? I think I'll leave it at that.

So anyway, there I was the other day, minding my own business in the dole queue and who should I bump into? None other than the fella who used to be in the pop group Blue...what's his name now? I've got it here somewhere...erm...Lou Ryan! That's it! No....Lee Ryan! sorry, it's very difficult to remember these people when they aren't on T4 anymore, isn't it? Anyway, he's a lover-lee bloke with the voice of an Angel. A Hells Angel you might say...no, he never leaves me feeling Blue, which is perhaps the most obvious pun in the world. Anyway, I need all the support I can get right now BECAUSE I AINT FLIPPIN RACING. Ask my trainer Jono why, but this is my reason for being, my livelihood and vocation in life AND THE FLIPPIN BLIGHTER WONT RACE ME...ahem, not that I'm getting a little bit concerned.

I suppose that the one saving grace is that my brief hiatus has allowed me to go into the studio and lay down some tracks in the studio with Lee and the other Blue boys (and Bobby Ball - we are calling it the 'Big Balls up'). Our tracks are going to be a combination of West African-influenced mozart-hip hop, all played on a ukaleley. Or something like that - he's a bit of a loose cannon is that Lee.

Right, so I am off.

Big shout out to my main man AB who is catching some rays for the next few weeks. Remember the open necked shirt/smart-casual look is fine, you know it makes sense.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Every nook and Dani

2007-01-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

Hello Campers,

I hope 2007 has been treating you well so far. For me, well it's been a slow start to the year - one race (this last Tuesday) and I came fourth. Bumped by some mongrel on the bend, wasn't I? Darn it.

What's more, one of my very sexy lady friends has only gone inside the Celebrity big Brother House! That's right, Danielle Lloyd, Miss Great Bristol's herself, has gone and got herself on the telly. LUCKILY THOUGH....before she went in, she managed to send me a very special message, which you can see above.

The Playboy bit is of course a reference to the shoot she did for the magazine..she actually asked me whether she should do it..."what's the Big Bother" , I said? I suppose the rest is history but I hope that when Sigmund, as I call her( as in Sigmund Freud...Lloyd), leaves the TV show she still has time for the love of her life, The Flyer.

I'll tell you this - when we are together we have one Danielle of a time. When she's out, if she doesn't pick up the phone and give me a Davina McCall, I will no longer consider her a model friend. Doubtless she's made a few new pals whilst she's been in there, but as I was Leo Sayering to someone only the other day, she hardly leaves me (Carole) Malone usually, so I am sure she hasn't forgotten where her bread is buttered.

And as for that Teddy Sheringham chap she's 'dating' - she don't need a nip of Sheri when I'm a-hound, let me tell you!

That's all for now - keep it all coming to woof@flyingfrank.com people. Love you all.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

The Other Flying Frank

2006-12-22T08:36:00.000-08:00

Merry Crimbo my old chums. Actually, Christmas time always reminds me of...erm Christmas.

I don't think the above picture needs much of an introduction. Eager readers of www.flyingfrank.com will know that this is the celeb picture I have been after for a while, the big one - the other Flying Frank, Lampard, who named himself after me.

I was delighted that the Chels-flea and Eng-grrrrr-land midfielder has finally been able to admit he is a fan and show some overdue respect to the one and only Dog with a Blog. I mean, I am already good pals with alot of the folk over at Chelsea - like my close pal Didier Dog-ba and old Pedigree Chum John Terry-ier. Because of that, it was good to finally grant the young lad an audience with his idol. It all came about when I was doing some of my now-famous Christmas visits to those less fortunate than me. I am not sure whether it was the Mourinho-meister or not, but someone phoned up Jono, my trainer (and self-styled Abramovitch of the greyhound world), and asked if I would make a special visit to the Magic Lamp (as I call him) and some of the other underpriveldiged kids at Stamford Bridge who were feeling a bit blue (they have to work on Christmas day you know!).

As a result of my pep-talk with The Flyer ( not me, him) I took him down to see me at Walthamstow last week, where he could view a real champ in action. I think he got alot out of it (must be the Scampi, chips and pint which HE STILL HASN'T PAID ME BACK FOR)...and best of all, he got to see me romp home to a cheeky victory just before Christmas.

Actually, Christmas time always reminds me of the time I met Frank's lady friend, Ellen. ho, ho, ho and all that.

I don't have much more to say to you - if i don't speak to you before have a great Christmas and keep your eyes peeled for my next race.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank (The original and only dog with a Blog)

P.S - A big you-never-write-you-never-call-i-never-even-got-a-bleeding-christmas-card shout out to my owners at Frank PR who have just won 'PR Agency of the Year 2006' for the second year in a row...you can check them out at www.frankpr.it

Turner-ing the corner

2006-11-17T09:48:00.000-08:00

Yo Blair! (as I once said to the Prime Minister)

What a week. What a only-the-most-important-race-of-my-life week! After a year of plying my trade in the Ryman Premier League of greyhound racing (shout out to my pal Marvin, the Bergkamp of Borehamwood FC), on Tuesday night I graduated to the Chumpions League of the sport. Bit more later on that, first a bit of housekeeping:

That race I told you about in my last post, I came third. W (it stands for Whatever. It's what all the young dogs are saying down the kennells, whilst they listen to Snoop and Pawtishead on their i-pups). Who gives a Flying Frank? got bigger fish to fry...

...like this race on Tuesday night just gone. 'Twas the Racing Post Festival down at The Stow. It doesn't get much bigger than that I can tell you. Even Sky Sports were there, complete with presenter legend Gary Newbon, or The Borbon as I call him (he really takes the biscuit). £1000 on offer for the winner of my race - as opposed to the usual ton (which those tight-fisted hoodlums at Frank PR never show me anyway). A massive crowd was there to cheer me and the stow was busier than the family planning clinic on Essex high road.

So why on earth did I stuff up big time, come fifth and embarass myself infront of literally dozens of avid SKY TV greyhound fans?

You tell me. Answers on a postcard to woof@flyingfrank.com

Anyway, as I woke up in a bout of depression on Wednesday morning, I had a note that dropped into my basket. It was from my good friend (and one-time lover) Anthea Turner, who sent the above message to me. Bunsen as I call her (Bunsen Burner - Anthea Turner), has always Turner-ed me on. I met her through her sister Tina and ever since then she has kept in touch. Infact, since she got married she has taken to sending me regular boxes of Cadbury's Snowflakes. Enough already - surely it's someone elses Turn.

It could be that Bunsen's chocolate has been what has been hampering me in recent races. Since Wednesday I have had a pure diet of only Water, Pedigree Chum and Ladies. I am focused for my next race - this Saturday night, 8.15pm at The Stow.

Watch this space, racing fans.

Enough for now,

Shabbat Shalom

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Seeing Red

2006-11-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

Hello fans and fellow Triple F's

Some timely advice this week, as you can see in the message from my good friend, confidant and bank manager, Jamie Redknapp.

"Don't get caught Red-knapping" the former international midfielder and heart-throb muses.

And I tell you, he knows as much about conditioning The Flyer as his old man does about Football management. You see, I won last week and I need good friends like Redders to keep my feet on the ground. As a result, I was only too happy to take on his advice. You see, I have known him and his wife Louise for some time. An Eternalaty, you could say. He was a great lad with a ball at his feet and he hasn't changed since he retarted from football. If you know your French you will understand what I mean when I say: J'aime Jamie. The only thing that really annoys me about him is that he is so flippin' good looking and so flippin' good at football. I mean, surely you should only have, as a maximum, one of those things?

Anyway, enough about the JamieRedknapptheonewhousedtoplayforLiverpool-meister and more about The flyer-meister. Following my victory last week, Jono my trainer has entered me into a race tonight at the Stow. 19.58pm is the time of the race and if you are smart you will see that that is in half an hour. You are probably wondering how I am writing this so close to the race....I'm keeping it under my hat for now, but answers on a postcard...

Enough for now.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S - Shout going out to the Frank PR posse - loved what you came up with!

Nifty at Fifty

2006-10-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

Just a little note to say I've now reached my half century of races! Not bad for a dog from the backstreets of Cork, eh? And they said I'd be glue before you know it! My record, for the aficionados amongst you, is:

Run: 50
Won: 11
Ladies: 94

And my sight is still perfect! To celebrate, I'll be running in my 51st race, tomorrow night at the Stow, 7.44pm. And they don't come much bigger: three hundred notes to the winner, plus trophy, plus first dibs on the future Mrs Flyer when i get back to the Kennels.
Will let you know how I get on - watch this space!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

A Sweeney Prod

2006-09-08T03:02:00.000-07:00

Anyhow, been a very busy few weeks, my recent results looking promising...infact I have had two massive wins (& trophy's) in the last ten days, with my most recent victory coming last night down at the Stow. There were a few things that I was very pleased about from last nights performance:

1) My starting price was 5-1. That's a few more english pounds under my vest, let me tell you (and boy, did I celebrate - hair of the dog this morning or what!)

2) My biggest prize money to date - £175. That'll be sent home to the family in Ireland I can tell you.

3) I beat that Club Jewel dog. Always riled me has CJ, and it pleases me no end to be giving her an absolute walloping on an ongoing basis

The only fly in the ointment is that the boys and girls from Frank PR couldn't make it last night. They 'claim' that they didn't know I was racing...hmmm, not sure about that one. See you on Saturday Chaps/Chappesses?

Anyhow, seeing as this is my only day off before I race again tomorrow (Can you believe it?!), Jono has decided to let me get near the yaptop and post online. Imagine my delight too, when I log on and see that my good friend and Thespiana (for that is the correct term for a female actor) Claire Sweeney has decided to drop me a line (see above) as well as a photo of support. What a great girl she is - I know she is busy at the moment up on stage with that Fattrick Swayze fella in 'Guys & Dolls' but she is such a sweeneyheart and always has time for her old mucker, the Flyer. Infact, I could not make this any more Clairer than it already is - we are very, very close friends and whilst I can't divulge the exact nature of our relationship, I can tell you that only last week I visited her London hotel and gave her a right royal.....sorry, my lawyers tell me I have to stop there. A right royal shake of the hand, followed by a lengthly debate on Economic reform, I think is what they would prefer I say.

I need to get off now to go and prepare for tomorrow. Around 7.48 at Walthamstow if you're interested.Byyee for now...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Busy Bee

2006-07-30T03:38:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a busy time, the last few weeks or so.

You will notice that the last time I blogged was the 6th July. "Why so long ago?", I hear you asking (I have very good hearing you see and I can hear you asking that from all the way over here in Claverhambury).

Is it because The Flyer doesn't care about his fans anymore? No way, Jose. That's not the case, I need all the fans I can get (Jono's turned the air con off, you see)

Is it because 'The Regime' don't like this blog? It's true, they don't like it but there is nowt they can do about it, so worry ye not

Is it because The Flyer has run out of celebrity fans to put on flyingfrank.com? YOU ARE HAVING A GIRAFFE. I have got more 'sleb friends than you could shake a stick at, but I choose to put them up in my own time. Mind you, I am still after the real-life Flying Frank Lampard. IF ANYONE SEES HIM, LET ME KNOW, I AM DESPERATE FOR IT.

No, the simple reason that I haven't posted is that I have been busier than David Beckenham's tattoo artist. Run off my feet I have been, with a mammoth six races in the last 24 days. It's busy this hurdling lark, but you won’t find me complaining. No Siree. It keeps everyone happy, not least of all the boys and girls who own me at Frank PR, who have seen me win again. My results in that time have been:

6th July - 5th place
8th July - 3rd place
15th July - WINNER
22nd July - 2nd place
27th July - 4th place
29th July - 5th place

Up and down results, I'll grant you, which is why it was good to hear from my good mate, Gaz, lead singer of the band Supergrass. His message reads "Flying Frank - you are a Superdog". Good lad - He's Alright, is Gaz. We met a few years ago and found that we had alot in common. We're young, we're free, and we both keep our teeth nice and clean, that sort of thing. And if anyone can name any of their other songs for me to make a couple of jokes about, let me know at woof@flyingfrank.com

Right, best be off then. It's Sunday, which is visitor’s day at the kennels. It's the day when the owners of the dogs are invited to come and visit. Except my owners are probably too busy making some PR or whatever (they never write, they never call...).

See ya for now - and anyone who comes across Flying Frank Lampard, you know where to find me...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Club Tool

2006-07-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't do fantastic in my race last week....fifth in fact. Never really got going from the start and my fast-becoming-nemesis, Club Jewel didn't fare much better. Luckily my handler, Dave the part-timer, kept us well apart at the track, otherwise CJ would have found himself getting well and truly Flying Franked.

Anyway, the wannabe, pretender-to-the-throne has sent me the following message:

Dear Frying Flank,

I see we’ve been scheduled for a re-match tonight. Bring it on!
The public just can’t get enough of us.
Don’t expect to get anywhere near that winner’s podium though cos there’s a spot reserved for me and there certainly ain’t room for the two of us.

I just hope you like the view of my backside - that’s all you’ll be seeing come 7.58.

I’ll treat you to hare ‘n’ chips after the race to show there’s no hard feelings.

See you tonight, Dog Breath.

Altogether now - 1,2, 3: WHATEVER!!

Yes, it's true, we are racing against each other tonight and I suppose it's a kind offer from CJ to treat me to hare 'n' chips after the race, although I can do without him rabbitting on all night. We shall see.

In any case, a really good mate of mine, Tricky Trevor Brooking, has sent a message in (see above) which should leave you in no doubt who his favourite dog is. Sir Tricky Trevalot (as I know him) is an old mate, not to mention loyal. Although you already know that, seeing as he played for West Ham for many years. Always went on about blowing bubbles. Strange fellow.
Anyway, on with the William Hill stakes, at the Stow tonight, 19.58pm - a trophy race, no less.
wish me luck!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Racey fella

2006-06-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

Thought you might like to know when my next personal appearance was going to be...er, tonight.

Jono has booked me into an open race tonight at the Stow. Open race meaning that any Tom, Dick or Harry can try and take on the Original Frankster. Bring 'em on, I say. It's the 20.48 'Four Handed Retirement Hurdle' race, which reminds me of a very good night some time back....anyhow, it'll be tough, but I'm looking forward to it.

Bit of a pain actually, because I was already booked to do a meet and great Jumpin' Jaks in Darlington, my old haunt. Shame. That's thirty quid (plus expenses) I'll never see again.
The main competitor I have in the race tonight is some fella called Club Jewel. Club Fool, more like. Let's just say we have a history. He's owned by a syndicate called the Four Tops and I will put it like this: When we are flying round the bends, he better not so much as Reach Out - (cos) I'll be there.

Wish me luck!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Frankie's Beck in Town

2006-06-27T01:36:00.000-07:00

Watcha Peeps. It's onwards and upwards round these parts, I tell ya. At the start of the year, it went from bard to verse. Then I ditched the Shakespeare and I took some time out. It's an open secret that a 'rest' was forced on me by Jono, my trainer and I wasn't too happy about it. We nearly had some 'artistic differences', lets say. Or, to not put too fine a point on it, Jono nearly had some enforced 'artistic differences' with certain areas of his anatomy. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have now retrained as a hurdler and last Saturday night was my third race in my new discipline.

As you can see from the brief posting below, I came fifth in my first race and runner-up in my second. Well on Saturday night I was back where I belong. Biggest night of the week at Walthamstow, all the lovely ladies done up to the nines, the smell of scampi and chips wafting through the air....and a lovely present promised to be from my current squire if I do the business.

There is only one option in these situations, one thing I can do. Run like the clappers, in the true spirit of Flying Frank Lampard (my hero) and give it everything.

Guess what.

I only flipping well won. What a night, what a result. I won. I burger-flippin, chip-frying, chilli-sauce pouring, salmonella catchingly-well won. Top of the pile, King of the hill. I'm back.

As if that wasn't enough motivation, when I got home, there was this lovely message (see above) from my good friend Becks. You might not know this, but he actually used to work at The Stow as a glass collector in his youth. Ever since then, we have become bosom buddies. I guess the seeds of our friendship were sown when we went for a really expensive slap-up chicken meal at a fancy restaurant. Always did have a thing for a Posh Bird. After that, we would meet up all the time, especially for me to give him fashion advice (although once I got it Sarong it was embarrassing). Anyway, we still keep in touch now that he is at Real Muttrid (Grrrronaldo is another good mate) and I was touched with his message.

I don't want to go into it too much, but there was a little embarrassing incident that happened at the weekend with me and the big man. You know how he was sick in the middle of the Ecuador game on Sunday? Well...guilty as charged! Let's just say we got together the night before and let our hair down, the next thing you know it was: one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR**!

Hey ho, onwards and upwards got to go and do a celebrity appearance at Bluewater shopping centre with The Chuckle Brothers. Will let you know when my next race is!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S. - A big shout out to my latest homeboy and Triple F (Friend of Flying Frank), Mr Ian H, who now joins the flyingfrank.com Hall of Fame with the other members. Keep spreading the FF love, Sir!

** David Beckham's lawyers have asked flyingfrank.com to point out that Mr Beckham did not stay up the night before the Ecuador game drinking Tequila and that this tale is in fact made up by Flying Frank. It was Bourbon.

Whassuppp

2006-06-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hello people,
alot to tell you about, as it goes, the main thing being that I AM BACK RACING! Since my last race, it has gone like this:
Saturday 10th June - I came 5th. Was well away but hit a hurdle
Saturday 17th June - Second!
All going well so far, but I have to yap off. The Ghana team have asked me to go to Germany to give them some last minute advice ahead of the Brazil game. It's Ghana be a good one.
Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S - racing again on Saturday!

King Edwards

2006-06-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

After what seems like months chilling out in the kennels with my bitches, its great to announce to you, my loyal followers, that I'm back in the traps tomorrow night in the 19.57pm "Cancer Research UK thanks to Sue and Mick Puzey Stakes" which will see me, the Flyer make his hurdling debut....yes, that's right, you heard me correct - hurdles!

When Jonno first told me he wanted me to try out as a hurdler, I told him where to jump, but after some reflection over a bag of Bonios and a chilled bowl of Volvic , I started to come round to the idea. Jonno reckons that jumping will help me focus on the job in hand and not get distracted by all the bitches on the track...yeah right, as if. I called on my my good pal Jonathan Edwards or Eds as I refer to him, the World Champion triple jumper for a spot of advice. I've known Eds for years and he has always been a good mate - we did have a light falling out over Denise Lewis a while back and I told him where to hop, skip and jump, but its probably best not to dwell on the past. He sent me this message, which to be honest, I thought was a little over the top...as my old pal Sir Al says, we don't like a***lickers and we don't like schmoozer's. Its not a bloody game show Jonathan so stop trying to suck up just because I've got my own column in the Walthamstow Guardian and I'm a hit with the ladies.

Anyhow, I'm going to keep this blog short and sweet as the World Cup Opening Ceremony is about to start and Jonno has laid on a special screening at the kennels. My money is on Ivory Coast. Talking of money, I'm in trap one tomorrow and raring to go....you wont go far wrong with a few quid on The Flyer.

as they say in Germany, adios amigos...will let you know how I get on...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Friend or Defoe

2006-05-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

First, the big news of the week - Bruce Forsyth has got a CBE, which I am absolutely delighted about. Nice to C-BE you, to C-BE you nice. He's an old buddy of mine and I love playing poker with him (he always play his cards right) and I even beat him last week. Didn't I do well? He's a real close friend (and Bone Fide Friend of Flying Frank) and he often asks me to Come Dancing with him. Loving the Brucemesiter.

Secondly, even bigger news for all fans of the Mutt with the Strut. I am likely going to be racing again very soon. Yes, I know I haven't been around much lately, but I have had a couple of trials and I am planning to be bounding out of the traps in the next week or two. Taking it slowly, but The Stow here I come. Don't want to jinx it, so I will just say that at the moment I am on standby.
Apt really, because a good mate of mine is on the standby for the World cup squad and as we are in the same boat, he has sent a message in for me this week, that you can see here.
Spurs and England striker Jermain Dogfoe, as you can see in the pic, has always been a good mate of mine. He's the Jermain man as far as I'm concerned and I really hope that he gets to make it to Jermany in the summer. I mean, it Jermains to be seen whether he will, but I feel he has earned his spurs and that he deserves his chance. We grew up together, see, and I know for a fact that he would walk over hot goals to be in Sven's squad. We have always been close buddies and like me, he's a fighter. Come on my son.

Talking of which, I feel it in my water that I should probably write a world cup special fairly soon. Personally I can't wait for the tournament - I've got a few mates who are going out there (as sniffers) and they say that if you are going to bite a drunk, sunburnt, violent, british football hooligan, there is simply no bigger stage in which to do it on.

Before I'm off, just my usual plea to keep sending me emails to woof@flyingfrank.com. Also, can everyone keep an eye out for potential celebrity friends - you know the drill (and anyone who gets the holy grail - Flying Frank Lampard - will get executive membership to my fan club!)

Right, got to go - Sa Re Ga Ma Pa is about to start on Zee TV (it's kind of like an Indian Pop Idol) and I don't like to miss it!

Speak soon,

Peace. Love . Woof.

Flying Frank

The final hurdle

2006-05-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hello mateys and mateyesses,

It's been a bit boring round flyingfrank.com of late, but after weeks, months even, of inactivity in my racing career, I have an announcement to make about my future. I'll be honest, I had some pretty hot offers from the national press (and The Kennel Gazette) to sell my story but I just couldn't do it to you, the loyal readers of my blog. I wanted you to hear it here first. One such fan is my good friend Tim Campbell - or the Timbernator as I call him. He was the guy that won the first series of The Apprentice and he has been a mate for a while now. He knows how hard I have found the last two months and so he sent this message into me. As you can see he's a bit naughty on it, writing "Give me a call". I know all is fair in love and war but if he wants me to come and work for him and his company - www.integra-skincare.com - he really ought to approach my trainer Jono first. A bit out of order but there you go. He's obviously seen my dog-matic approach and wants a piece of the Flyer (and who can blame him). Forgetting all that though, he is a top man is old 'nice but Tim'.

He keeps himself nice and trim, does Tim. Especially when he's at the gym. Which he often visits on a whim. It keeps him nice and slim. Mind you, so does a swim. Not to mention singing a hymn.

Yeah, a real top bloke and his wishes have really kept me focused on what I want to do next.

Which is hurdle.

That's right, hurdle.

Colin Jackson. Sally Gunnell. Red Rum. There's going to be another name added to this hurdling hall of fame shortly - The Flyer. As you will recall, I got into a spot of bother with another dog the last time I was at the track. In those situations, you get a first warning. Another warning and you're out of the game forever and on a one way ticket to South-east-asia-restaurant-ville.

Although I didn't get my warning, Jono decided to take me out of the flat game and train me up for hurdles. For the last two months, my life has been tough to say the least, or as they say in Cantonese, (excuse my French, but that's just how I feel). It's been a constant regime of training, training and more training. To be fair, in the evenings I have been allowed to relax and watch the telly ( my current fave is Chup Chupa Kay at 7.30, every night on the Pakistani Channel - A candid camera show catching people at their best and worst. Catch it if you can) but other than that it has been full speed over the hurdles.

I'm not going to give too much away at the moment, as I know that some of my rivals are monitoring this. Safe to say that I will be racing soon, but I heard Jono tell my owners - those lovely chaps who smell a bit at Frank PR - that I am a dog "with alot of courage" and that I am "jumping nice and low". All encouraging. By the way, you can check them out at www.frankpr.it

Not much else to say, except I have recently got some celebrity messages that are literally going to rock your world. Recent captures include TWO Olympic Gold medallists, two England football legends and a two Knights of the Realm. Oh, and Suzi Perry (no, me neither). The one I still want though is the ultimate, the real Flying Frank - Mr Frank Lampard himself. Getting him would be like winning the Champions League, the World Cup and the Greyhound derby all rolled into one. If any of you see him on you're travels, email me at woof@flyingfrank.com

Bye for now,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Model behaviour

2006-04-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Greetings fella and fellaresses:

I was sitting at home one night this week, having just finished my dinner (a fusion of East meets West if you must know - Prawn Bhuna, egg and chips), supping on pint of the old favourite (water) and it occurred to me that this Blogger (me) had been depriving my Blogees (you) a bit of female flesh lately.

Needless to say, when I realised my error, I got straight on the blower to my good friend, page 3 girl and Reality-TV staple, Leilani, who was only too willing to send in the message that you see before you. In this game you see, it's all about how you treat people, and the Leilaniator knows that The Flyer is a good lad. We go way back see, to before she was a famous model, like. We met one night down in Charlie Chan's - www.chans.cc - where I took her to the VIP area - we wined, we dined...she was ever so kind. And let's just say, we've been tight ever since. Whenever she's in town, we always hook up for a jar or two and I was stoked that she sent in this message...

Still no news on my racing career at the moment. To be honest, I've become a bit disillusioned with this game and I am thinking of getting out. Not too sure what I might do next...I was thinking maybe I would try writing - I suppose it's a novel way of making a living. I was also thinking of going and working for Kwik-Fit, but I've heard it's really tyre-ing. I dunno, I've always had a talent for window-making, although I understand it's a bit of a pane. Who knows - perhaps I'll just go and be a trampoline salesman (although I've heard even that's a bit up and down). I'm a bit of a drifter in some senses, so we will see where the wind takes me. Failing that, I may just stay racing. Tell you what - I'd really appreciate knowing what my army of fans think I should do. All offers and suggestions welcome to the usual email - woof@flyingfrank.com
Should be some racing news - one way or t'other - soon, so keep you're eyes peeled.

Later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Long time no speak

2006-04-01T09:13:00.000-08:00

I know what you're thinking.

I haven't written a posting in while and you assume that I've gone all Billy big time, that my celebrity life has caught up with me, that since I won my last couple of races I've turned into some kind of poncey, fast-living, arrogant so-and-so. Obviously that's all true, but it's not the reason I haven't written for a while.

It's like this: You have to pay your way down here at Claverhambury kennels. Jono Coleman, the Sven Goran of dog racing (but, and my lawyers have asked me to stress this, without the philandering), doesn't give anyone a free lunch and I am no different. I haven't raced for nearly two months see (and no - I don't want to talk about it), and as a result I am not bringing in any dough and therefore not keeping Mrs JC in the manner to which she has become accustomed. If I don't start racing again soon, she will have to start buying her threads in New Look. And nobody wants that. So if I don't bring anything to the table, my privileges get cut - the first one being T'Internet.

There was a time when I was the dogs danglies, the sublime canine, the pooch you would smooch. I mean, everyone wanted to do it in this doggies style. Now, you don't race for a bit and all the things you hold dear - like a little surf on the internet for pictures of Hollyoaks 'actresses' - are taken away from you. Apparently the other dogs would get jealous to see me on the computer (we have a communal one here at the kennels) and so JC suggested that I don't write on my blog for a while.

Obviously, I couldn't be putting up with it for too long and so I had to take the law into my own hands. This street dog had to employ a couple of lessons he picked up from the University of Life (where I got an upper second by the way). That's right, I went and got my own yaptop.

So not to worry people, I'm back, raring to go, should be racing again soon and I've also got a stack of new celebrity messages in the bag, including two footballing legends, a number 1 recording artist, an acting legend and a cricket bad boy. Oh yeah, and Dr Fox.

So keep your eyes peeled, I am going to try and be back on in a couple of days with the latest offerings for my faithful.

It's good to be back.

Peace, Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

There's nothing fishy going on

2006-03-10T09:34:00.000-08:00

Ahoy there me hearties!

It's the Original Frankster back here, the nutty mutty, the dog with the blog.

Like I said last time, my current plans are shrouded in secrecy. You will note that I haven't been running lately. Very observant of you. I can't really tell you why, but shortly I will have an announcement to make that will make it all clear. Greyhound Times, Walthamstow Gazette - take note, it's gonna be a biggie. When I can tell you, I promise you I will. Just not now.

Despite me being in this ever-lasting limbo, it's still heartening to know that my firends in high places have not forgetten me. You will see the message above from none other than Captain Birds Eye. He's an old Navy buddy of mine (I just adore Navy - it's so much more my colour than a sky blue or a nasty burgundy) and let me tell you, when we have gone out together, we certainly have caught a Birds Eye or two. He's been in town this week with his Fish Finger Mini's but he still had time to confirm - as it says in his message - that I am still the apple of his Birds Eye.

We go way back, me and the Captainmeister. I first met him in church - he was praying to cod - and I started to feel unwell. I had a thumping Haddock and the Cap'n took me back to his plaice where we watched a film about fish together - a prawn movie, he called it. Anyway, our bond grew from there and we now try to sea each other as often as we can. We have similar tastes in popular music. He likes listening to Billy Ocean and The Waterboys, as do I , so we have a lot to talk about.

I heard he was in town earlier this week so I just jumped in a taxi crab and went over to see him. We had a whale of a time and I can't wait to catch up with him next time.

Anyhoo, that's yer lot for now. More celeb going's-on soon - and I promise I'll let you know my big news as soon as possible.

Keep the messages coming to woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace.Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Fighting my corner

2006-02-23T10:36:00.000-08:00

OK, I'll level with you.

The reason why I haven't been on my blog for the last few days is that I have been in a bit of bother with the 'auforities'. Get this: Apparently I am a bit troublesome and as a result, Jono (my trainer) has taken me away from the track for a while. He says that I get into too many fights and upset the other dogs.

Fights?! Fights?! Can a bloke not gently kick, punch, headbutt and bite his fellow dog anymore? That's not a fight - it's just a gentle reminder of who's the boss. I've had enough of these flippin' sandal-wearing, cappucino-drinking, cardigan-clad liberals that you see on every corner these days, telling you that you can't get your knuckle duster/Uzi out anymore because it's not politically correct. Pansies, the lot of them.

Ahem.

Anyway, all I've done is given out a few gentle slaps and I am being threatened with being 'taken away from racing'. We've come to a compromise and I am just taking a few weeks off before I return to the track. Please don't misunderstand me though - I'm a lover, not a fighter. True, I did some boxing in my younger days (I was a Flyer-weight) when I used to idolise my favourite boxer, Muha-mutt Ali. Ah, them were the days - I couldn't wait for the bell to sound at the start of Grrrrrround 1 where I'd go out and give my all. Anyway, that was then but this is now and I don't want anyone misunderstanding me.

At least I can count on the wishes of my good friend Phil 'the Tuffmeister' Tufnell at times like these (see above). He's a good lad, is Tuffers. He's always been there for me no matter how stupid or Silly (mid-on) I have been. He is a wicket guy and will always push the boundaries for me. His wishes really keep me going.

OK, that's all for now. There's alot of stuff going down round here, which I can't tell you about yet. The only thing that keeps me going (along with the ladies) are the wishes from My Triple F's - Friends of Flying Frank. Keep 'em coming to woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Three's the magic number

2006-02-12T04:15:00.000-08:00

Phewwweeee. You may have noticed that I haven't written a blog posting for about 10 days or so now....well that's only because I've flippin well been racing non-stop, isn't it? I've been as hectic as a red light bulb salesman in Amsterdam, I tell you.

So before I explain the photo above, here are my results in the last ten days:

27th Jan (Walthamstow) - I know I have told you about this one, but I came in first

6th Feb (The 'Stow again) - First

8th Feb (Harlow) - You've guessed it Chicas, I came in first yet again

As you would imagine, I am absolutely overjoyed at this somewhat purple patch in my career. You will see above that there is a photo message from my good friend and former Olympic gold medalist, Linford Christie (or The 'Ford as I call him). I am not ashamed to admit that The 'Ford has been behind my recent revival and it is down to him that I am turning it round.

He's a good lad, Linford, and he calls me his little Chumpion. He encourages me not to become Dogged down in all the hullabaloo that surrounds my races but just focus...and when the traps open, run like the clappers! He actually called me last night and told me that I am reminding him of his form in 1992-3, when he scooped both Olympic and World Golds. That may be so Linford, but you didn't get the pick of the bunch at Charlie Chan's Discotheque, did you mate? No Sally Gunnell for me!

Ahem, back to work now, methinks.

Keep well people - I reckon I will be racing this week, so will keep you posted.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Run off my feet!

2006-02-01T01:02:00.000-08:00

Hello people,

As you will know, I haven't been able to get on T'internet lately to write my world-famous blog.

Reason being see, that in the last few days I have raced not once, not twice but THREE TIMES! It's a bit like being that Daniel Beckenham fella at Real Muttrid - the more famous you get, the more demand for personal appearances there are, the less time you have for your loved ones. Much like the ladies in the picture. Can't quite recall who the one on the right is, but the laydee on the left is that Keeley. She's the one that the Chelsea player Joe Cole got a bit of bother over and she is also really successful in her own right - she has her own column on page 3 of The Sun, no less. She's a great pal and if I could just get a BLEEDIN' MINUTE on my own, I could give the Keelymeister the attention she so rightly deserves.

In any case, here is how I have been doing:

Saturday 21st Jan - ran in the first race at The Stow. My owners were there, big expectations, and I blew it. Fifth. Very embarrassed and ashamed. Still got tanked up at Charlie Chans', mind.

Wednesday 25th Jan - Jono stuck me in an evening race at Harlow. Harlow can you go, you might ask? I mean - Harlow for heavens' sake! Because I was out there, my owners never came to see me, and for that reason I can't give you a full description of what happened (ahem). But I came 4th.

Friday 27th Jan - Because of what is now known as 'The Harlow debacle', Jono stuck me in the afternoon races. Well I stuffed it up him, didn't I. Only powered home to a now famous victory - the fifth in the Flying Frank story. get in!

So now, after three races in six days, we look to the future. No race scheduled as yet, but will keep you posted. In the meantime, I shall keep myself busy with old Keeley and, er, wotsername...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Race alert

2006-01-20T00:59:00.000-08:00

...Just wanted to let all my fans know that the details of my next race have been announced:

It's tomorrow (Sat 20th Jan) - Yikes!

The usual venue - Walthamstow Dog track (aka The Stow)

7.30pm, first race of the night, trap 2.

There's also a trophy up for grabs so I am hopeful I can scoop the booty.

Afterwards I am going to the cinema. Feel free to join me - I am going with some of my crew down the Thurrock Odeon after to see Cheaper by the Dozen 2 - this time you'd better watch out! I just loved the first one and thought it was a true masterpiece of our time. It worked on so many levels and I realised it's true - it is cheaper by the dozen.

Will let you know how it goes - wish me luck by emailing me! woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

The hostess with the Makostness

2006-01-16T10:50:00.000-08:00

I'll be honest with you, I very nearly wasn't here this week.

After weeks of talks, offers, counter-offers and cloak-and-dagger meetings, I decided in the end to turn down the opportunity to appear on Big Brother.

Whilst I'm a big fan of the Channel Paw programme, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. They would have me up to all sorts on there, probably getting me on a chair trying to impersonate a human being and all that. It would have been so humiliating and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I know I like a bit of fun with the ladies and all, but at the end of the day racing is my business.

Besides, I have to avoid Tracy Bingham for the foreseeable future (if she asks, just say I have moved to the Congo and should be back sometime in 2010). The package they were offering me was fantastic as well - one years supply of Pedigree chum, a brand new piece of rope to chew on (mmmm, rope) and a pooper scooper. They also offered expenses too. They were prepared to take me down there in the back of a brand-new Volvo estate and stick me in a proper wooden kennel (from B&Q) before I went in the house. Despite all that, I've decided to concentrate on work.

Nevertheless, I thought I would put up a picture of my good mate Makosi Musambasi, star of the last series of Big Brother. She's a good lass, The Makos-meister, and we originally met when I was making a personal appearance in Zimbabwe many years ago - I'm too much of a gent to tell you what happened, but suffice to say I didn't let my country down. I have given her a bit of advice on how to handle fame and as soon as she becomes famous, I'm sure she'll implement it.

As I was saying, I'm concentrating on my racing at the moment and the situation is simple - I'm battered, bruised but making progress. I raced at The Stow on Saturday night and I was even the favourite to win. Alas, the world of greyhound racing is quite bitchy at times and there are several people who want to ruin things for me, hence me getting bumped twice in the same race. Nevermind, I won't let them get me down. Onwards, upwards and onto the next race. Will let you know when it is.

Got to go now - I have a conference call about the possibility of appearing on Living TV's 'I'm famous and frightened'.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S. - Thanks to my homegirl Diana. I lurrved the pictures of those ladies. Keep them coming people to woof@flyingfrank.com

P.P.S - I have heard about a certain dog called Jus for Xmas who is trying to muscle in on my territory. Yawn. Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby.

Get back

2006-01-11T02:02:00.000-08:00

Get back.

Get back to where you once belong, as the Beatles sang.

And I am - this Saturday infact where I am racing again at The Stow.

If any of the Flying Frank Army want to come down and see me, I am running in the 21.21pm race, over 475 metres. Titled the 'Enter our nomination cup...your chance to win £1000' stakes, I hope to be bounding out of trap 2 (boo! as you know, the Original Frankster prefers trap one - the ambience in there is just soooo more appealing) and with a bit of luck, onto a famous victory. Then onto Charlie Chan's if I win, ladies!

Hope to see you all on Saturday night - drop me a line at woof@flyingfrank.com to wish me luck.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S. - Big shout going out to one of my newest homegirls and brand spanking new Triple F (Friend of Flying Frank), Diana Williams. I hear you have just discovered The Flyer - keep on spreading the word down at the golf club, girlfriend.

Bigger, better & badder for ' 06

2006-01-09T11:03:00.000-08:00

Hello to all my lovely, wonderful, fans. I hope you had a superb holiday season and are geared up for a great 2006 (or two thousand and chicks as I am calling it).

For me, the year has got off to a tremendous start. First of all, I got this brilliant message from my youngest fan, a little bonny, bouncing cherub called Leni Zetter. Leni (she lets me address her by her full name, Leonard) was only six weeks old when this picture was taken, has really helped me with my rehabilitation. With her simple gesture, she has taken me back to my inner child. Subliminally, she has sent me the encouragement I have been looking for: "Just run like a young child, The Flyer, be free like me and you can do it.'

And Lo and behold, the minute I take on her advice, things start to look up.

As you know, I wasn't a very happy bunny (mmmm, bunny) in the last part of 2005. I was stuck in the BAGS (Bookmakers Afternoon Greyhound Service) and I was on a one-way ticket to Battersea. But Leni's message changed all that. It made me face up to my problems and act more like a dog, not a puppy. So I had it out with Jono, my trainer. I sat him down and tenderly explained to him that if he didn't get me out of the BAGS and back onto the night races at The Stow then I would become particularly 'friendly' with his entire roster of female greyhounds. He knows my reputation - and you can guess the rest.

I did have a couple more BAGS races at the end of the month, but I made my comeback on the big stage as a late replacement on the 30th December. I came second, but knew that I was feeling good. And then, for the first time in over four weeks, I was back racing proper on a Saturday night at The Stow.

Now, I don't like the winter too much, but I wanted to turn on the style a little bit for my fans. Although I came third, I posted the fastest time of my career in the race (29.40 secs) and I was well chuffed. Infact, so high was the standard that the winner, Spoofy Doo, posted the quickest time at Walthamstow this quarter. Anyway, I may not have won....BUT I'M BACK BABY! That's right, I have returned to the evening circuit and the only thing I need to do is make sure I stay there.

Well, there are two things really. I also need to take one of the female dogs at the kennels to a doctor I know who can 'sort out' problems before Jono finds out. Don't tell him, I'll know it was you.

Onwards and upwards then. We are going to start back up soon with even more celeb pictures and crazy postings from my celebrity life, so make sure that, during the forthcoming Year of the Dog, you keep tuned to www.flyingfrank.com !

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Review of the year

2005-12-23T05:13:00.000-08:00

...and so to my last posting (probably) of 2005. This has been a true rollercoaster of a year, where my crushing downs have been offset by some tremendous highs.

A good time then, for my top five highlights of the year:

Being bought by Frank PR

These are the guys that really catapulted me onto the world stage. I was just a journeyman young pup in Ireland before they came along. Everyone always has offers from Britain, but this one was tempting for two reasons. First of all they offered me the Deluxe Pedigree Chum (the regular stuff gives me real Delhi Belly) and secondly this - my own blog where I can reach my fans wherever and whenever I like. They are a great company, although one of them smells a bit.

Winning my first race

July 21st 2005. 9.03 pm. Odds of 7/2.

Me. The crowd. The smell of scampi wafting across the stow. I felt good, really good and I showed them as I pipped the other fella across the line (whatever happened to him? Last I heard he was in Korea...) and tasted for the first time, the sweet smell of success. I had another three victories that would follow for the rest of the year, but this was the greatest. No trophy, but immense pride - pride that there and then, I was on top of the world.

Saving the Stow

Most of you know by now that I embarked on a social action campaign earlier this year to save the home of greyhound racing, Walthamstow dog track. Their were rumours that the chaps who own the track were going to sell it, so I decided to do something about it - and launched my own online petition at www.savethestow.com . You can still sign up to it if you haven't yet done so. People always come up to me and ask why I bothered...well let me tell you, dogs can make a difference:

Laika (he, the Russian space dog)....Lassie...Bouncer...David Blunkett's dog (the one on the lead, not the one he....sorry, the lawyers stopped me there)...there is a doggie hall of fame and I want a part of it. The campaign was such a success that I made appearances on BBC News, BBC London radio and in The Star, Express, Sun and other papers.

My celeb pals

I am very fortunate to be able to count several celebrities as close, personal friends. In the past year, I have had traditional messages of support from a range of celebrities. The fella who started this all off - and who is my closest pal of them all - is cricket legend Brian Lara, whos pic I have re-posted at the top. Since him, the likes of Alan Hansen, Lady Isabelle Hervey, Teddy Sheringham, Ms Dynamite and the hottest babe on the planet, Lauren Pope, have all sent in their messages. They really help keep me sane because they understand the pressures that a celebrity lifestyle brings - whether it's the press taking a dogmatic view of me or if my management are being bone idle and don't listen, they tell me how to handle it. There will be more of the same in 2006, hopefully with one from the big one, Flying Frank Lampard.

and finally....my merry band of Triple F's

The terms Triple F's refers to 'Friends of Flying Frank' (by the way, by reading this you are one) and more than anything or anyone, it is them who keep me sane. There have been some troubling times recently, and whilst I am not going to dwell on them now (I'll leave that for 2006, when I hit the bottle and end up checking into a drying out clinic in Arizona - you will be able to read all about it in my autobiography 'One for the road: The diary of a celebrity, alcoholic greyhound') I am appreciative of the way you have always been there for me. Whether it's messages, emails or coming to attend my races I know that I am loved and I love you all back. Just give me your leg and I will show how much via physical expression.

People, whatever your bag is this winter - Christmas, Chanukah, sunshine, drinking - have a great one and let's all have a stormer in 2006.

Here is to rocking the stow next year!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Baggsy not me

2005-12-16T10:13:00.000-08:00

I don't want to talk about this week too much. After my upbeat postings of recent weeks, particularly with the good wishes of Phil and Ms D, I was feeling upbeat. Then I heard the word that every dog dreads:

BAGS

Standing for Bookmaker's Afternoon Greyhound Service, these are the races that are shown in betting shops in the afternoon. Away from the glamour of a night at The Stow, this is the greyhound graveyard, where the duds and degenerates go to race. I don't want to dwell on it, I really don't, but I had a BAGS race this Wednesday and came in third. For reasons only he knows, Jono put me in it.

Rather than being watched by my adoring faithful, in good spirits at my rightful home, I was being watched by a bunch of old men, lubricated by good spirits from the retirement home.

No further comment, but we have a bit of an Sir Alex Ferguson-Roy Keane situation going on here. EXCEPT DO YOU THINK ALEX FERGUSON WOULD PUT KEANE IN THE YOUTH TEAM, DO YOU? DO YOU????Ahem...It's a real bone of contention between us and I don't want to talk anymore.

I am terrier-fied about the future.

Sorry people, no more from me today. Be back soon.

P.S. - A massive, 'Sorry, I wish my heart was in it' big-up for Agent in the Field (AIF) Bloch. Happy 36th, pal.

P.P.S - A big, 'I've had better weeks than this' booyakasha to AIF Lynch. Sayonara sweetheart.

P.P.P.S - A big 'If you were a tree, I wouldn't even cock my leg' small-up to non-AIF Spriggsy.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Little 'mite

2005-12-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

Greetings to all you 'Friends of Flying Frank' or, to those of you in the know, my merry band of Triple F's!

Before I start, I would like to take this opportunity to pay homage to one of the greatest ever 'Agents in the Field' (otherwise know as AIF - the people who carry out the good dogs work).

Ever since the start of this blog, there has literally been no celebrity too small for this AIF to bother and he has brought back the goods from all of them, time and time again. As today is the anniversary of his birth, I therefore want to dedicate this posting to the memory of a lovely bloke, who we will just refer to as AIF Kaye..... He's not dead by the way, he just has a really, really poor memory. He forgets everything! Thanks for everything AIF Kaye - and keep up the good work.

I'd also like to talk about one of the most lasting and important friendships I have. You can see her in the picture - it is none other than R&B superstar Ms Dynamite, who sent me a message recently. Now, unlike most of the other lady folk whose company I keep, everything is well above board with her. Although myself and Ms Dynamite have always had a bit of an explosive relationship, we tend not to blow anything up out of proportion. She's always had a short fuse but I just try to make her laugh - hence the name Ms Dynamite tee hee.

Despite constant rumours, our friendship is and has always been platonic - she is just a very near Ms. I have always tried to be there for her and I was one of the first people to congratulate her after she triumphed at an awards ceremony a couple of years ago, when she picked up two awards. I always knew that she had a lovely pair of Brits and this just confirmed it.

So now we have Ms Dynamite signed up to the Flying Frank campaign, where to next? My enemies (and believe it or not, there are a few, aren't there Woodlands Vieri?!) thought that I was full of it, that I wouldn't be able to maintain such an impressive list of celebrities, that eventually I would fall upon my very last Big Brother contestant and be left bankrupt of any decent Triple F's. Wrong, the list is growing - make sure you log onto www.flyingfrank.com soon to see who else I have up my sleeve. In addition to that, please, please keep signing up at www.savethestow.com, as well as sending in your emails, messages, xmas cards and Somerfield vouchers to woof@flyingfrank.com. Yes, Somerfield vouchers.

OK - bye for now.

P.S. - No racing for me this week, but will almost deffo have a pre-xmas one!

P.P.S. - Agent in the Field Spriggsy - calm down fella, we don't want you to get Lamped by anyone.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Taylor made

2005-12-05T10:46:00.000-08:00

Hello all you doggie-followers,

Blimey, it's December already. Who would Adam & Eve it - only a few weeks until xmas and it's so exciting down here at the Kennels. I can't wait till the 25th - we are all going to gather round the fire, roast a few chesmutts and see what goodies Santa Paws has got for us this year. Until then though, it's just work, work, work.

I raced again last Saturday - and came fifth again. Obviously I'm not a happy bunny....no, that's a bad choice of words, sorry....but I am not best pleased and I am at a loss as to what to do - just can't seem to get it together at the moment. What with my form, and the fact that they have just opened up a new Thai meat buffet restaurant in Claverhambury, I need to turn it around quick smart.

After the race on Saturday, I really needed to speak to the people that know me best, really needed to hear from those who care about me and I was so pleased to receive a timely message from my good friend and 12-time world darts champion Phil 'The Power' Taylor (in the picture with his daughter). I like to surround myself with winners and that's why I am matey with Phil - he hits the bulleseye with me - always has done - and that's why we are so one-hundred-and-matey.

Here's the John Lowe-down on our friendship:

Jono (my trainer) has always said that I Dart round the track and so one day he got the idea of trying to get a couple of dart boards. Unfortunately, he couldn't a-Fordham, but what he did manage to do was introduce me to The Power. Ever since then, our friendship has taken flight. We do tons of stuff together - go for walks on Dart-moor, take drives through the Dart-ford tunnel and go for relaxing walks in Arrow-on-the-hill. We also share a love of the characters in the Star Wars movies, particularly Dart Vader.

It's because of our closeness that this message means so much to me - Phil knows that I am trying to be the best I can be and he knows that I am searching for answers. His message is simple - "Flying Frank - You have the Power". Of course! How could I have missed it all this time. It's me - I have the power. It's not just me, Phil and Snap though - we all do. All this time I have been searching for answers, blaming trap numbers, blaming Jono, blaming the scampi and chips, blaming the 17 women that I entertain each and every night. All I needed to do was follow his Phil-osophy and I would find the answer. I HAVE THE POWER! He truly is the Wordsworth of our times and I just want to take this opportunity to Bristow my best wishes on him and his family - he's oche by me, is Phil.

I feel like a new man. Watch out, Chicas.

Speak to you lovely people later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

All creatures great and small

2005-11-25T09:51:00.000-08:00

Hi People,

I know, I know. I'm a bad doggie. I'm in the Doghouse. I'm the mutt in a rutt.

Apologies to all of you - I clearly haven't been writing all that much of late and to be honest, it's not fair to you, my fans. If I am to continue with my plans for (Greyhound) world domination then I need to treat my loyal army a bit better and keep you better informed as to my goings on.

To tell you the truth, I have been through alot of high and lows of late, as you can see in the picture. A few people have a problem with my friends in the pic, but I don't see what all the fuss is about. So I like to chill with a miniature goblin from time to time - what's the problem, dude? So I shoot a few hoops with a seven foot basketball player of-an-evening - what ya gonna do, sue me? And yes, I enjoy the company of a vertically challenged lady in a gold lame bikini - What can I say? I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I make no apologies if the regime don't like it man. They keep me sane with their tall stories and short anecdotes and I love em.

You may have noticed that I haven't been racing too much of late. Well, I had a run-out last Saturday and it just didn't come together for me. It was embarrassing to tell you the truth. Some joker called Bell Crusader beat me by an absolute country mile, I ended up coming fifth and as a result, Jono thinks that I should take a week or two off.

No races for me this week then - instead I am catching up on some reading. I am currently working my way through the entire works of William Shakespeare - his stuff is actually not bard for an old, dead bloke. I have already finished reading Twelfth Bite and I am working my way through Mutt Ado About Nothing. It really helps me take my mind of the pressures of racing and get away from the hustle and bustle of the kennels. Apart from that I've just been getting on with my campaign at www.savethestow.com and deploying more agents in the field to bring the home the bacon. Mmmm, Bacon. Or if they can't bring home the bacon, then a celebrity picture message will suffice. Mmmmm, celebrity picture messages.

So get cracking people - believe me when I say I have some great celebrity messages, agents in the field anecdotes and features coming up in the next few weeks, so keep your eyes peeled.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S. - A big, big 'you should be ashamed of yourself' slating goes out to AIF (Agent In the Field) Spriggsy for his shameful performance. Right your wrong, man!

Ray-king it in

2005-11-14T01:49:00.000-08:00

As you could probably tell, I was like a dog with two chicks after my victory last Saturday night. I blew the others out of the water - see ya later Tipsy Tarquin, eat mustard! Every victory is a special one, but this was especially sweet as it was from the dreaded trap 2. As you know, I start shaking when they hand me that blue jacket, so I was stoked that I could pull it out of the bag.

Because of that I have decided to take it easy this week, hence no racing and no blog postings. Instead, I decided to go oop north and see a good mate of mine, footballer Ray Parlour (pictured). We always go out on a bender whenever possible (Escapades in Darlington is our favourite haunt) and when we are together, people call us the Poodle Parlour. Seriously, the man is a Ray of sunshine in this little doggies life, although now he is in the North East, we just don't get the Tyne to see each other anymore. He always Rayses my expectations that we might get to have a sherbert together, but it is not a as frequent as when he was at Arsenal. Still, I know he is in good hands up there at Boro as my close pals Bark Viduka and Ugo Ehidog are there to take care of him. I also had some good buddies at the club when Terrier Venables was the manager and going back in time, when they used to play at Ayeresome Bark, which is why I always look for their results.

As you know by now, I am big, big, big mates with some seriously famous footballing folk. However, one of my good buddies in the game, Flying Frank Lampard, has so far been quiet on the old messaging front - come on agents in the field! Let's get hold of the original Frankster and get his message. As for other 'slebs, they have literally been flying in and I will put them all up as often as possible (we only have dial up at the Kennels, see).

I am chilling from racing for a few days - you have probably noticed that I have not competed this week - and while resting, I have been asked alot about various rumours. One such story that has surfaced concerns whether I am going to go out on the road, away from the stow, and emBark on a Nationwide tour. Whilst I can't comment specifically on these stories, what I can say is that I am planning to go out on the road, away from the stow, and emBark on a nationwide tour.

More to follow on all this, but need to go now.

Couple of shout-outs:

- A massive 'big up yourself' to agent in the field Eldridge for your continued support for the www.savethestow.com campaign. You are a gent, sir!

- A huge 'hare is approaching' shout-out to agent in field Jacobs for your recent contribution. You are a lady, madam!

That's all folks - keep up the good work.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Live from the VIP section of Chans

2005-11-05T00:37:00.000-08:00

I'm dedicated to this blog I am. Tonight at The Stow was another one of those nights I was born for. In the 2039 race I came out of trap 2 all motivated up (thanks to Mr Mo). Taking 2nd place after the first bend I picked my moment on the back straight and came flying through. All credit to trap 1 for pushing me to the max, but in the end you were no match for 'The Flyer' were you mate?! So another win means another party.

Which takes me to where I am now, in the VIP section at Chans, furiously pawing this message to my fans. Its been a while since my last victory and I thought I'd celebrate in style the only way I know. Quick shower after the race, splash on a bit of the old smelly stuff, on to meet some laydeees and down a bit of the bubbly. I've just taken a break from pulling proceedings to post this message to you and it feels good. Not half as good as some lucky lady here is going to feel later though. She may get a bit disoriented, as for her the fireworks are going to go on all night.

Peace. Love. Woof.
FF

PS. Message to Jono - don't wait up for me tonight. ;-)

Motivation's what you need

2005-11-03T11:20:00.000-08:00

Well if you haven't already heard, I came second. It was a tremendous night at The Stow (the place was packed to the rafters - how can they even think about closing it down?? - stop this madness and go to www.savethestow.com now) and there was a big posse from Frank PR there.

On the plus side, I ran fine and I am really in my stride now after my injury. However, I don't know if it was the bright lights, the atmosphere or the fact that Dave the handler wasn't with me (he's only part-time, you see), but it just didn't happen. I went round fine and in the back straight I flew, but ultimately I could only manage second. I hate that flippin' trap 2.

Anyway, you can probably see a pattern emerging - second. I keep coming second! Silver medal positions a-plenty and I'm getting fed up with it. Which is why I have called in reinforcements. I got on the blower and got my big mate Mr Motivator to give me a bit of advice. You can see Mr Mo, as I call him, in the photo above - I have known him for a while, primarily through Lorraine Kelly (Special LK) and their connection at Greyhound Morning TV. He's a great guy but not sure his message is going to hep me, I mean:

Be bad? - I'm not Michael Jackson mate!

Be mean? - ahem, I am Irish, not Scottish

Be wicked? - Whatever Mr Mo. 'Wicked' is so nineties. I'm not wicked, I'm dope.

He also told me I should think about a Marathon. Don't know about that one - I prefer to think about Maltesers. They're the lighter way to enjoy chocolate.

I don't know, he has a good track record and he is a lovely guy, apart from when he wears those colourful leotard get-ups. It's enough to put a man off his Iams. Anyway, I will keep his words close to my heart (as I do those of all my celeb friends) as I have another race coming up - I am flying out of trap 2 (boo! Down with the red coat. Give me red I tell thee! Red!) in the 20.39. It takes place this Saturday night and with a Stow Faithful pushing me on, keep your fingers crossed for me.

As ever, full updates only on www.flyingfrank.com

Later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Al in a day's work

2005-10-28T11:04:00.000-07:00

As I said in my last post, I would be providing all my Triple F's with a picture of a celebrity message. And here it is - my old time friend, BBC TV's Alan Hansen just pupped a message in the post to me - and what a corker it is. Big Al (as I know him) and I discovered some years ago that we have a lot in common and we have been buddies ever since. We are both professional sportsmen by profession, we are both housewives' favourites and we are both close mates with Gary Lineker ("Links" to us) - although I lost touch with him after he left Barkalona.

Big Al and I first met when he was playing for Liverpool. We just bumped into each other and found that we got on ferry, ferry well. Scouse about that? There were lots of doggie type people around Anfield at that time - for one thing Kenny Dogleash was the manager but he also played with Alan Kennel-edy and Greyhound Souness. As a legend of the game - and a European pup winner - I find comfort in settling down each week to watch big Al on Match of the Stray.

Spookily, I'm racing in 'The Liverpool FC Champions of Europe Stakes' tomorrow (trap 2, start time 21.21). Given the name of the race and the message above, I want to do it for The Hanster. Watch this space.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Runner up

2005-10-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

Well I guess it's about time I gave you folk an update on what I have been doing the last few days - my racing career, as always, has been taking top priority. To keep it brief, I came in second. You can't win everything you enter and I was happy to come round with no problems. No great shakes, just a silver medal for me this time.

I was rather hoping that it would be my last race over 475 metres. Alas, I am next scheduled to race this Saturday night, the 29th, over the same distance. I shall be bounding out of trap 2 in the 21.21pm race, also known as "The Liverpool FC Champions of Europe Stakes". I wanted to run in "The Liverpool FC Steven Gerrard one man band stakes" but they wouldn't let me. With a bit of luck it will all go swimmingly and I will head off into Charlie Chan's with a trophy under my collar.

I haven't been doing all that much the last few days, to tell you the truth. I have basically been training, chilling and concentrating on my campaign (go to www.savethestow.com if you haven't already. And even if you have, get your gran to sign up as well. We are running a bit short on grannies). I have been thinking about getting a part-time job actually, something to while away the hours and to earn a bit of extra cash for pedigree chum and the like. I did work for a few days in a butchers shop, but I found I just wasn't tall enough to reach the meat on the top shelf - the steaks were too high. I also went for a job in a dentists, but I was late on my first day - I didn't get in until tooth hurty. Then there was the time I went to work in a doctors surgery, but I just didn't have the patients. If I'm honest, I think I could be a treecutter - I have alot of experience with bark and I wood love it.

Just not sure how to pass my spare time now that Hollyoaks actresses are soooo 2004.

I guess I will just have to concentrate on my racing career, but if my army of triple F's have any suggestions, please email me on woof@flyingfrank.com.

Be good boys and girls,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S - another celeb message before the weekend - watch this space!

What a Carr-y on

2005-10-19T04:50:00.000-07:00

Hello people,

I wanted to alert you to a couple of things that have been going down. Firstly, my owners at Frank PR had an absolute stormer of an evening last night at the PR Week awards ceremony. They won a trophy for the best consumer campaign of the year. If that's a bit gobbledegook for you, I think it basically means they are very good at PR. So congrats to them! Also my good mate, the comedian Jimmy Carr, was presenting the awards and as well as mentioning me on stage he also left a message for his old mucker, The Flyer.

Me and Jimbo (as I know him) go way back and share alot of history together. We first met in the fruit and veg isle of our local supermarket. He was buying some Carr-ots and I was looking for the Ava-Carr-do's. We just hit off and developed a close bond. Although he has mood swings (he can be a bit of a Jimmy Crankie) and is often a little difficult to understand (he's somewhat of a Jimmy Riddle) we share a lot of common interests. We both have a love of travel and often go to Carr-diff. Or Carr-digan. Or Red-Carr.

And guess what form of transport we use to get there? That's right....a motorcycle.

One with a side-carr.

He also loves animals - just look at the evidence. He is big mates with me, he writes in Zoo magazine and hosts a show called '8 out of 10 cats'. Mmmmm....cats. All in all, he's a great guy and I was delighted that he had the time to send his good pal this message.

Away from Jimbo, some quick news for my army of 'Triple F's': I am back racing, tomorrow night (Thursday), at 9.40pm. It's over 475 metres and I am coming out of trap 2. Not my favourite, but there you go. It is in the esteemed Chas & Dave testimonial race (They wrote their song 'Rabbit' for me - yummy) so I'll be doing my best. Keep an eye out.

Must get back to training now - later.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

A busy doggie

2005-10-17T01:43:00.000-07:00

Hello to one and all.

Well, things have gone bananas round Claverhambury kennels in the last few weeks and I thought it was about time I did a little recap for you all. For one thing, the media have gone crazy. Esteemed publications in which I have appeared in recent weeks include BBC Sport Online (which you can see in the picture), The Sun Online (twice), Daily Express, Daily Star Sunday, The Sunday Times, Racing Post and my personal favourite, the Walthamstow Guardian. Not forgetting those great gallahs on the Australian Greyhound Recorder who are also featuring the original Frankster. I've even been on the telly, with appearances on Channel 425 and BBC London to my name. Check this out - things have even got so mad that I have my own fan-site. I love it - don't know who this guy is, but I am flattered. Go right now and read it yourself at www.iloveflyingfrank.moonfruit.com .

I don't want anyone to forget what this is all about though.

Incase you are new to my site, I have launched my own campaign to save the mecca of greyhound racing, Walthamstow Stadium, from closure. There are some big, nasty men who are itching to get their hardhats out and bulldoze the place. Put a stop to this madness by signing the petition at www.savethestow.com

On the downside, while I have been hitting the headlines everyone has come out of the woodwork and wants a little bit of The Flyer - the telebone has not stopped ringing. I've had offers of endorsement deals (a carpenter wanted to launch a new product called The Flying Plank) and TV shows ( I was asked to go on "Stars in their eyes" as Lassie) but I just want to keep focused on what is important. I'm still me after all - a bit rrrrruff around the edges maybe, but still just a working lad from Ireland making his way over here.

So for now, I only care about four things:

1) Winning races (next race rumoured to be either Thursday or Saturday - you will be the first to know)

2) Saving The Stow

3) Rachel Stevens (mmmm....Rachel Stevens)

4) Continuing to collate my celebrity messages

On the last one, please feel free to get involved yourself. I have gathered around 25 myself, but I need as many agents in the field as possible who can collect these for me. We already have a couple (Agent Leigh, you are da man!), but I want the big one - my namesake, Flying Frank Lampard. My army of Triple F's - go get him!

That's all for now, speak soon and welcome to my new readers - drop me a line if you like at woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Kells Bells

2005-10-12T01:33:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

After my victorious win at the end of last week, I decided to take a few days off, as well as keep in touch with a few of my celebrity friends (one of whom you can see in the picture, but more about her later). I wanted to have a change of scenery for a few days, so I decided to take off to Manchester, where some of my old friends were in town.

I have some long-time buddies who originally come from a place in North Manchester called Bury (something us dogs enjoy doing). A few years back they moved across the Pennines to Leads (something us dogs definitely don't enjoy) before settling in Puppy New Guinea. They were back in town for a few days so we decided to head down to Belle Vue greyhound stadium where a few of my mates - and lady friends - hang out. Added to that, England were playing at Old Trafford, where my namesake 'Flying' Frank Lampard came to the rescue and shot England to the world cup (come on the Re-pup-lic of Ireland tonight!).

Incidentally, Lamps is someone I would really like to add to my gallery of stars - anyone who can get him would net themselves Platinum membership of the Triple F club (which stands for Friends of Flying Frank). I am sure my owners would throw in a Scampi and chips at The Stow as well.

Talking of celebrities, you will see that another close pal of mine has left an encouraging message for me. It is none other than the queen of morning telly, Lorraine Kelly, or Special LK as I call her. She is a true gem and even though she wakes up at the crack of dawn every morning....ahem, ask me no questions and you will get no lies.....she is a truly bonny lass. I watch her every day on GMTV (Greyhound Morning Television) and it really sets me up for the day. She is fully behind the Save the Stow campaign (go to www.savethestow.com now to sign up) and for many years has been a Lorraine of sunshine in my life. Infact, I have been thinking about naming my first daughter after her. I was going to give her two first names, hers and that of my first girlfriend, Keisha. Somehow though, Keisha-Lorraine doesn't sound right - it just makes me hungry.

Got to go now I'm afraid, but a bit of general housekeeping first:

- The date of my next race has not been set. I am going to move up a distance to 640 metres and we could be looking at next Tuesday.

- The Rachel Stevens competition is still running, so get your answers into woof@flyingfrank.com

- www.savethestow.com continues to gather signatures from across the globe. Big shout going out to the Office of the Australian Prime Minister!

Speak soon doggie-lovers.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Hat trick

2005-10-07T02:39:00.000-07:00

Hello people,

Firstly, if you have come here for the Rachel Stevens competition (mmm....Rachel Stevens), then fear not, it is still up and running. Scroll down below and get your answers in quick smart to woof@flyingfrank.com. Whilst you're at it, make sure you sign my petition at www.savethestow.com .

Enough of Rachel then, and more about me, me, me. Last night I flew to my third victory as a professional race dog and I am as happy as Larry. There really isn't that much to tell you about the race itself - I came, I saw and I conquered. Whilst I wasn't in the lead from the off (I still have a 'trapping' problem where I don't start as best as I could), it was a controlled performance even if I do say so myself. Never in doubt, the bookies fancied me too with many of them only offering evens on The Flyer.

The best thing was that it was a trophy race with £100 for the winner. That's what happens when you power to victory in the Sargasso Sea Restaurant Stakes which, for your information, is widely acclaimed as the 'best fish restaurant' in Winchmore Hill, er, I mean the UK. Run by my good friends Dawn and John, they run a steady ship there. Let me tell you, it is the plaice to go to if you want good fish. Oh my cod - you just won't believe the quality so you should try and mussel your way in if you can. When I went there I was feeling a bit under the weather. I was suffering from a cold and a Haddock but I was so glad I went - definitely my Kipper tea. I'm not really a modest bloke - infact some say I'm a bit shellfish but I just have to share with you how good the food is here and how helpful and friendly the Starf(ish) are.

What's more, after my win I got presented with a lovely clock as a trophy, which means not only am I winner but a punctual one too! Actually, the clock doesn't exactly work, but it is right twice a day at least. Enjoy the picture above - it's of my owner, me, the trophy and Dave the part-time handler. Please don't ask why I have that startled look on my face. Safe to say I am in talks with my lawyers.

So there you have it - I am back doing what I do best and that is winning races. There have been some very dark moments in the last few weeks.

They said I couldn't come back from an injury like that.

They said my best days where behind me.

They said I would be glue soon.

And that was just the other dogs in the yard.

I've heard before that when the chips are down you can only rely on your family. Well it's true and I dedicate this victory to the people who helped me through this difficult time - Jono, the chaps at Frank PR, Rachel Stevens (yummy yummy in my tummy) but most importantly, Dave the part-timer.

Am gonna have a blinder of a weekend now - have a good one yourselves and chat soon.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Rach for the stars (and WIN! - read on...)

2005-10-03T02:57:00.000-07:00

OK, so another top notch celebrity and Friend of Flying Frank has got behind me, as shown on the left. This is a note from none other than Rachel Stevens (or The Stevie Wonder, as I call her) who visited the Stow last week and sent me this message to let me know that we are still friends.

It reads "Dear Flying Frank, Sorry I missed you, next time maybe. Lots of love - Rachel." To tell you the truth, whilst we have always got on famously, we did have a bit of a barney a while back and I SAID NEVER AGAIN (coincidentally, the name of Rachel's new single, out today and easily downloadable from www.rachelstevensofficial.com ) but she called me up and told me to COME AND GET IT (That's the name of her new album, coming to an HMV - the doggie on their logo is an old pal of mine - near you on 17th Oct). I thought best to leave it though - lovely girl, but let's just stay good friends. The Puppyrazzi would have a field day and always be on our tail and I don't think it's fair to get Rachel mixed up in my complicated celebrity lifestyle. Let's leave those memories in the past.

WIN WIN WIN

Anyway, because we are still such good pals, The Stevie Wonder has given me a signed copy of her new album to give away to a Friend of Flying Frank (Triple F). To win, you just need to do the following:

1) Go to www.savethestow.com and sign up to my campaign. This is an online petition to save Walthamstow dog track from closure - you know Rachel would want you to.

2) Once you have done that, send an email to woof@flyingfrank.com , with the subject title 'mmmm....Rachel Stevens...'

Include your name, age, address and complete the following tie-breaker:

If Rachel Stevens knocked on my front door I would.....

Okey-dokey, I have to go now. Jono has got me training in a minute (we are thinking either Thursday or Saturday for the next race) and I can see a luvverly laydee up against a tree....ahem, best wishes to all my Jewish triple F's - Happy New Year.

I will speak to you all very soon.

P.S. - One of the youngest Triple F's, Isaac Beech, has had a tough few days and I wanted to give an extra special big shout out to him and all the doctors and nurses at Wythenshaw Hospital. Isaac is only eight years old and is a real brave lad. The Flyer hopes you get better soon mate.

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Cheeky Chappie

2005-09-30T01:41:00.000-07:00

Well, you can see from the picture to the side of me that the celebrity backing for me, my blog and my www.savethestow.com campaign goes from strength to strength. The latest to 'pop' up is my good friend and music guru, Nicki 'Chappers' Chapman. I know that she is an avid reader of my blog, as shown in her 'jokes' written on her message - 'hope you're not feeling ruff', 'you're my pup idol' - hmmmmm, not sure about this. You don't see me sitting on a table in Tamworth leisure centre telling bad singers to aimlessly 'follow their dream', do you? No, that's right, I couldn't do it. Leave the gags to me, Chappers.

In any case, Chappers is a lovely lady and we have been friends for years. She has always given me some great advice about the music industry. She told me that the best way to connect with my audience is to firstly find a genre of music that will speak to people - in my case Rock 'n' (water) bowl - and secondly, to go out on paw, sorry, I mean tour. There may be a future for me in the music biz after I have finished my racing days - who knows? There is often talk about a collaboration with other dog-related acts, such as Snoop or Mutt-ya from the Sugababes but I am not so sure - it's a cat eat cat world out there and I might just prefer to spend the days lazing around with my friends at the kennel.

As far as the here and now is concerned, things continue to gather pace. There has been continued interest in me and my campaign to save the stow. If you haven't done so already, get your fingers clicking onto www.savethestow.com and help rescue the home of greyhound racing from the claws of some big nasty men. As far as racing goes, your favourite greyhound will be back in the traps soon. I am chilling this Saturday (Bollywood Buzz is on the Pakistani Channel - must see TV, so I asked Jono if I could skip the Stow for one week) but hope to be running again either next Tuesday or Thursday.

That's all for now.

P.S. - Big shout out to my good friend Chrissy C. Can't wait to see what you've got buddy!

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Short notice

2005-09-26T14:30:00.000-07:00

It was all a bit last minute, so apologies to my blog die-hards, but I ran again on Saturday night.
Jono kept it as a surprise as he knew I would get too over-excited if he told me in advance.

Being frank I would race every day if I could after having such a long spell on the sidelines out with injury. But Jono wants me to take it slowly and get my fitness levels up again. So there I was in trap 2 in the 475 metre A5 8.11 race at the Stow in front of packed house. When I say packed, I mean packed. How they can even think of knocking the place down and developing it into a housing estate is beyond me, given the amount of people that love a night out at the dogs? Remember, you can help prevent it happening by signing my online petition at www.savethestow.com now.

I've never run particularly well out of trap 2 you know and maybe its getting to me a bit mentally when I see my handler (usually Dave, although he's only part-time) approach me with that blue bib to wear. There was also a bit more pressure coming from the fact that the bookies were making me the favourite.

Anyway, there I was looking at my blue number 2 vest, pawing away a slight speck of sand picked up from the parade, thinking how much better I look in red with that nice number 1 on when those traps flew open. No wonder I got off a bit slowly and reached the first bend one from last.

But going down the back straight I felt my injury woes just disappear and I flew through the field. Coming up to the final bend I was right on the heels of Alfies Stream and looking forward to overtaking him and lapping up the glory of win number three. But Alfies an experienced greyhound and he cut me up half way through the bend. I lost a few lengths on him as a result but picked up the chase again when we hit the final straight. I just couldn't catch him before the line and he beat me by 1/2 a length. I was disappointed not to win, but the race did me a lot of good and on another day I would've done him.

Alfies gave me a sly little smile back in the kennels. Sure thing Alfies I thought to myself, just wait till next time...

Comeback race

2005-09-18T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well, it was a good runout at least.

Following my injury, I had my comeback race the other day and the main aim - for me to come through unscathed - was achieved. A clear night at The Stow, the beer was flowing, the scampi and chips plentiful and the conditions perfect. Bit of a pity the stadium wasn't full - but then it's always quiet on a Tuesday. I felt pretty good on my way to the track and even though Little Dave the handler wasn't with me (he's only part-time), at least Jono my trainer was there with my owners from Frank PR (see picture - Jono's the one in the tie).

So the hare came round, the traps flew open and to be honest I didn't get a great start. I staggered, stumbled a bit and eventually found my line. I think that's known as a 'Pete Doherty'. I was a fair bit behind but, save for a little knock on one of the bends, I felt strong and I felt good as I crossed the line in third place. Not too concerned - like I said before, I just wanted to get back on track.

It now promises to be a very busy week which, naturally, I will keep you pupdated on. Please go to www.savethestow.com and if you've already done that, check out my webchat with my pals at The Sun Online - http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,3-2005430009,00.html .

Have a good week people.

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

The comeback trail

2005-09-15T02:20:00.000-07:00

Hey people....Jeez Louise, these last two weeks have been hectic to say the least. Regular readers of www.flyingfrank.com will know that I have spent the last few weeks 'on my back' injured and, save for my appearance at Jordan and Peters wedding, I haven't really done all that much. You will recall that this followed my last race, where I sped out of the traps and got shafted by those hounds Woodlands Vieri and Show the Light. Fear not - they will be sleeping with the fishes fairly shortly.

To beat off the boredom of my convalescence, I started up the 'Save the Stow' campaign. There is alot to update you on this (in particular the small matter of your favourite Greyhound being splashed across the Newspupers - The Sun Online, Express and Walthamstow Guardian to name but three), but I will leave that for another day - in the meantime, make sure you sign up at www.savethestow.com and help salvage the home of Greyhound racing.

One of the few things that kept me going during those dark days was the good wishes from my friends, in particular those from olympic champion and BBC TV personality, Sally Gunnell. She really looks out for me and keeps me on track in my personal life. Before I knew Aunt Sally (as I jape with her), I thought Sally Gunnell was a golfing term but we have formed a close bond and I have no qualms about putting my feelings about her into (s)print. I know that sometimes she blows hot and gold about our relationship, especially when I have the runs, but I always jog her memory about the good times and we remain good friends.

Which leads me to the point that....I am back in the saddle again! Tonight is my comeback race at The Stow. I am in trap 2 in the 21.14, The Harlow Racing Stakes. There is Â£100 and a big daddy trophy up for grabs, but I just need a run-out to be honest with you. I don't want to play it up too much, but if I do win, I am thinking about having an open-top bus tour in Trafalgar Square. Will keep you posted and let you know tomorrow.

In the meantime:

- sign up at www.savethestow.com

- email me at woof@flyingfrank.com and show that you care

- spread the word about the Flyer to all and sundry.

P.S - Big shout out to my good buddy Sam on the Greyhound Recorder in Australia!

Speak tomorrow.

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Injury over - flying again soon....

2005-09-08T09:00:00.000-07:00

I was back at The Stow yesterday afternoon. Jono took me down there for a time trial.

When you've been out injured for a while you have to run against the clock - not other dogs - to post a qualifying time and be eligibile to run again in competitive races. The good news is I was back to my speedy self, flew round the bends and should be back in contention for the real thing within the next 7 days. Look out for details of my next race: I'm fit, hungry and raring to go.

It was a lovely day down at The Stow yesterday and the first time I've been there in person since I kicked off my 'Save The Stow' campaign (www.savethestow.com). Hundreds of people have signed up to my online petition so far and being in E17 yesterday, looking around my theatre of dreams, taking in the atmosphere of the mecca of the dog world, brought back to me what an important campaign this is. So, if you haven't already, go and sign and let's stop in their tracks George Wimpey PLC's plans to turn the Stow into houses.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Save the Stow - sign the petition

2005-09-06T06:06:00.000-07:00

These are very busy times indeed - and I need your help.

News has reached me that plans are afoot for the home of Greyhound racing, Walthamstow Stadium (AKA 'The Stow'), to be sold to a property developer called George Wimpey. Obviously, with over 70 years of heritage, it will be a massive blow to Greyhound Racing in the UK and an even bigger blow to your good pal, Flying Frank. I nearly hit the woof when I heard - I mean, where will I race if they get rid of the stow?

Not good news, I am sure you'll agree. Which is why I have decided to do something about it.

I have set up an online petition at www.savethestow.com

Please go there, sign it and then forward onto as many people as possible.

It will only take 2 minutes. My plan is to present this, in person, to both George Wimpey and the owners of the stow to convince them to change their minds.

Obviously, I have been deploying my celebrity pals to see what support they can lend and I am delighted that my good buddy Science - or the Sciencemeister, as I know him - has chipped in with a little experiment of his own. Someone said to me that I don't know him from atom, but that's not true at all. We have built up a great chemistry together and although I haven't spoken to him for a while (I kept him on the back bunsen-burner), I knew he would come through for me.

You can still keep up to date with all my goings-on here at www.flyingfrank.com but please, please, sign on at www.savethestow.com

That website again - www.savethestow.com

Thanks.

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Me & Mr Jones

2005-08-31T01:28:00.000-07:00

Being on the 'rest list' has meant that I've been watching plenty of TV lately. I've invested in a home cinema for my kennel, complete (of course) with sub-woofer and like most of the pupulation, I've been gripped by the Ashes.

So it was really nice for my pal and England's best bowler Simon Jones - Jonesy to the Flyer - to send his good wishes. A couple of people have said to me "isn't it brilliant that he can swing it both ways?" Not sure about that one. I always thought Jonesy could easily bowl a maiden over. Terrific guy as well - he has no airs or WG Graces about him and he's a wicket bloke.

Like myself, Simon is laid up with an injury at the moment. In order to get fit for the final test against the Aussies, he's having stints in an oxygen chamber to cure his ankle injury. I asked Jono if I could have the same sort of treatment so I can get back on the track as soon as possible. He said that nearest I'd get to any 02 would be if he let me borrow his phone.

When the cricket hasn't been on I've been a bit stumped on what to do with myself. Luckily, it's my second birthday tomorrow so get your messages in to woof@flyingfrank.com asap!

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Thursday and still injured...

2005-08-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

I’m feeling a bit easier and little less sore, but I’m still on the “rest list.”

In addition to the anti-inflammatories and Neurofen, I’ve been having massages every other day with the intention of getting rid of some of the stiffness. I guess Jono doesn’t realise that these massages are having quite the opposite effect. Woof woof!

Anyhow, Jono’s away on holiday at the moment so Dave, aka ‘Dave the Handler’, is running things. He’s a lovely fella and tried to cheer me up today with his favourite greyhound joke…

A Greyhound, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says: "Whoever can say liver and cheese in the same sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie says, "That's not good enough."
The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative."
Finally the Greyhound says, "Liver alone....cheese mine."

That Dave, he’s a funny man.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, it’s my birthday next week. On September 1st I’ll be two. Send your love and adulation to woof@flyingfrank.com

I’ll publish the best of your best wishes.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Bark & Ryde

2005-08-23T10:33:00.000-07:00

Well it hasn't been a very easy time for me lately. Although I am remaining positive, the situation I find myself in is annoying. When you are a top class professional athlete, it really hurts when you can't do what you do best. OK - what I do second best (we all know what I do best, don't we chicas?).

Luckily though, a good buddy of mine has been in touch and it has really helped lift me while I am on the 'rest list'. Above, you can see my good friend, TV's Anna Ryder Richardson, who has taken time out of her Changing Rooms schedule to drop me a line. As well as being an interior decorator, The Ryde-ster is like a lifestyle guru to me - she doesn't allow me to gloss over any situation (she prefers a matt finish) and although she is as daft as a brush, she has a real energetic (white) spirit about her. Full of integrity as well - I know she would never take a backhander or any sort of bung (alow). We have only once had a falling out - and that was all my asphalt.

Anyway, although her wishes are nice to hear, my next race is still a while off. Jono has suggested I relax for a few days. I am chasing my tail round here, so I might head down to my favourite watering hole, the Walk-about in Hyde Bark, for a pint of Volvic (since my two wins, I don't do tap water no more). I will update you on my activities in my next posting.

One last thing - you may be interested to know that I was on the racecard at the Stow on Saturday night, despite everyone knowing that I was out of action (they announced I had 'withdrawn' minutes before the race). hmmmm....wonder why they kept the news from my adoring public? In future, make sure you log on here for all the news, straight from the horses mouth (well not horse, dog you understand, but....oh, you get it.)

OK, I'm outee - don't forget to go to the Sun webchat!

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

P.S - shout out to my good pal FB - enjoy catching those rays on the bitch!

Battered and bruised

2005-08-19T01:16:00.000-07:00

Before I came into the world of professional sport, I'd always heard athletes say that the worst part of their job is being injured.

Well guess what? Here I am laid up in my kennel....injured.

You can see from my last posting at whose paws the blame lies, but I'm not one to bear grudges. 'Let sleeping dogs lie' is my motto.

After getting home the other night from my race I felt OK. I watched the football. England were rubbish, but the Denmark players were useful, great Danes you could say.

But I woke up feeling very very different. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and took my usual stroll to my favourite tree to do what boy dogs do to start the day. I could hardly walk. I was in absolute bloody agony. I limped back to the yard, hobbled towards my kennel and then Jono appeared, he could see something was badly wrong.

The vet came round asap and gave me a full once over. As usual I couldn't stop myself giggling when he asked me to cough. He took Jono to one side and they chatted in the corner out of ear shot. I feared that Jono and the vet would come back over and say the words that strike fear into the heart of every greyhound - "I think it would be best if we helped you have a little sleep now...." It would be fair to say I was Shih Tzu'ing myself.

They didn't (hence this blog still has a dog). It turns out I'm sore, bruised, have muscle damage and perhaps a tear.

Jono has put me on what's known in the greyhound racing business as 'the rest list.' Basically that means no training (or racing) and lots of massages for the next couple of weeks.

I'm going to be dead bored so any messages of support would be greatly appreciated. I will also be very busy answering all your questions in my webchat with The Sun Online, so please click onto the link here:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,3-2005370601,00.html

Don't worry fans, I see this injury as only a blip in my racing career, a minor spaniel in the works as they say. I'll be back.

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

(PS. I've asked Jono if I can have my massages at the same place Wayne Rooney has his.)

(PPS. I've been asked to say allegedly about the above PS.)

The Sun - I love it

2005-08-17T10:28:00.000-07:00

In the greatest partnership since Mr Golden got together with Mrs Retriever (you know what I'm sayin'), I have linked up with the Sun Online. It is already my favourite news-puper and since my good buddies over there at the online section asked me in for a webchat we have got very close. They even made up their very own, limited edition, front page (above - pretty nifty, huh?).

This also means that I am welcoming a whole new band of visitors to the site. A big shout out to all my new Triple F's (Friends of Flying Frank), especially to the chaps at www.whelansolicitors.ie who visited me at 4.55pm this afternoon - ahoy there, I bet you are a bunch of Legal Beagles!

To read all about me, and to submit your favourite question, click onto:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,3-2005370601,00.html

You can also enter an exclusive competition to win a trip down to the stow, to see me run, with my owners (apparently they are quite slow over 640 metres and prefer trap 2), so what are you waiting for?!

As far as last night goes, I would prefer not to talk about it. For the last 24 hours, it has been going around and a-hound in my head, replaying itself over and Rover again.

I had a massive crowd from Frank PR ( www.frankpr.it ) down there to see me run - nearly 20 infact - and I was feeling quite confident. One thing was getting at me though - before the race, I saw Woodlands Vieri and and Show the light having a little bitch about me, saying that my blog was rubbish and that my owners smelt bad, that kind of thing. So I came out of the traps and, lo and behold, Dogs 1 and 5 (and guess who they were!), both went across me, thumped me, whacked me up in the air and put me out of the race. I limped home last, several lengths adrift.

I don't think I have any lasting injuries (I used to suffer from Collar-flour ears) so hopefully all will be OK. To cheer myself up, I went down to my local barkade to play on the machines. All I can tell you is, these boys are no longer chums of mine and they had better watch out. Yeah, that's some fighting talk for you from the Flyer!

OK, so that's it for now people. And don't forget to send your questions into The Sun Online - I can't wait to see them, so get cracking!

Speak soon.

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

2005-08-12T14:54:00.000-07:00

Well, the details for my next race are in and my good friend Teddy Sheringham - or Shezza as I know him - came round the other day to wish me luck. Throughout his career, the Spurs & Man Utd legend has never been too busy to show his devotion to dogs, as you can see from his message here.

There should be a big turnout on Tuesday and because Jono has rested me for the week - he said he didn't want me to get dogged down with the never ending cycle of training and running - I feel as fit as a fiddle. What you need to know is:

Tuesday night, 16th August at The stow

Race 13 (unlucky for some)

22.20 (I'm only a puppy, its a bit late!)

The Give A Stow Dog A Home Stakes (catchy I know)

640 metres

Trap 1 (mmmm....trap 1)

£160 to the winner (blow it all at Charlie Chan's after) + Trophy (now you're talking).

I know my owners are going - if you are popping down let me know! Also, don't forget to send your pics and emails to woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace. Love. Woof.
FF

The Triple F challenge

2005-08-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hey People,

Well, the entries are in, counted and verified by our judges and the results are posted below. You will remember last week I challenged you all to send in your questions to me, the dog with a blog. I had a huge response from all the members of the Triple F club and the winner is.......my good friend Tatum! Your email really touched my heart and you win a special prize - I will email you soon with the details.

For the rest of you, you can take up the next Flying Frank challenge. The cute picture above was sent to me via my good friend Goldie the Dog, which gave me the inspiration for the next task. I want your photo messages! please send your visual memorandum of goodwill to me at flyingfrank@frankpr.it and I will print the best one!

In the meantime, enjoy this week's challenge results below...

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

-----Original Message-----
From: Pipa Unsworth
To: Flying Frank
Subject: Ask Frank

Dear FF,
Is Frank short for anything…Francis? Francesco? Or is it just Frank?

P.L.W.

Pipa (short for Philippa)

FF Says: You may have seen my posting last week Pipa, in which case it will come as no surprise to you that Frank is short for Francophile, as in 'an admirer of France and everything French'. I love everything about the country. I did witness an accident once though - when I was there a man jumped into the river. He was later declared in Seine.

-----Original Message-----
From: Charlotte Hickson
To: Flying Frank
Subject: QUESTION

Frank - do you have a good hangover cure? Maybe you'll suggest "hare of the
dog" but it just doesn't seem to work for me. Had a fairly heavy weekend
and still struggling today. Any help very happily accepted.
Charl x

FF Says: Chas, Many thanks for nicking my gag there - do it again and I will ban you from the site. Only kidding! Kind of.

Seriously, I would simply recommend taking a headache tablet. Don't try and buy it near the Zoo though - the parrots-eat-'em-all.

-----Original Message-----
From: Jon Tuchband
To: Flying Frank
Subject: A Question for the dog

Dear Frank...

I often like to psyche myself up before competing in various strong man events by listening to some tunes . I was wondering, what sort of tunes gets you going...?
Would it be something like...
'Ain't nothing but hounddog'? Something by 'Snoop'...or maybe even the prodigy in 'Smack by B*tch up'??

Thanks...

Loyal fan

FF Says: Jon - I have wide musical tastes from Grrrrrrr een Day to Doggie Williams to Yazz and the plastic Pupulation. I also enjoy chilling out to a little Bark once in a while and I enjoy the theatre - my favourite musical is Hare. My favourite musician of all time is the Red hot Chilli Peppers guitarist, Flea, and obviously my number one track is Walthamstow.

-----Original Message-----
From: marc@loftfashion [mailto:marc@loftfashion.com]
To: Flying Frank
Subject: question

FF
What is the secret to your success???
From
Marc, in South Africa

FF Says: thanks for the question Marc.

The Secret of my Success is, of course. a 1987 film starring Michael J Fox as Brantley Foster (aka Carlton Whitfield). A young scamp from the country, Brantley comes to the big city looking for a job and ends up coping off with his bosses wife instead! Thought you'd catch me out there did you?!

-----Original Message-----
From: Charlie Greig
To: Flying Frank
Subject: dear frank,

dear flying frank

i heard about you winning the dog racing cup. well done frank! i hope your great moment of fame was all you hoped it to be. im sure you will win all of the races you are in in the future. i would love to come to see you win the trophy in the next race you are in. you are possibly the best dog that there is. you are so cool.

what is your favourite park?

lots of love tatum
age:11

FF Says: Tatum - It's really nice to hear from you. Your words are very kind - and you know what? I think you might be the youngest member so far of the Triple F club (Friends of Flying Frank) - of course this makes you very special and my number one fan!

To answer your question, I always have safety in mind and so in this day and age the place I prefer is a multi storey car bark.

-----Original Message-----
From: Gemma Witcoop
To: Flying Frank
Subject: Hello the flyer

It was lovely to hear about your family life, it really brought a tear to my eye, you are just like your father, and I think that’s wonderful. It’s almost a shame that you couldn’t put some music on your blog during certain parts. I could hear the soft, melodic music in my head when reading about your life!

Anyway, I have a question.

Now that you are a celebrity are you only friends with famous people or are you in touch with your old pals too? Maybe you keep in touch with them on the old dog and bone?

Keep up the good work the flyer

Peace, love, woof

FF Says: Gemma, the same applies to you re: nicking my gags. Don't do it again.

However, you sound a particularly attractive young lady and so I am only too happy to answer. Despite all my celebrity pals, there is absolutely no danger of me displaying any diva like traits - no matter what happens, I will always keep my feet on the hound.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Cornell
To: Flying Frank
Subject:

Flying Frank,

Hello my name is Wolfgang. I'm a German shepherd but now living in Barking. I have just made a TV appearance in France on "Kennel Plus".

I would really love to mate with you.

What do you think? Half man half dog?

Not seen since lynn Faulds Wood stopped presenting Watchdog.
Fancy a rut mutt?
Wolfie x

FF Says: Good to hear from you. I remember Barking from a while back - good place, but I prefer my pad down on the Isle of dogs now. Seems like you enjoy a bit of TV too...I mainly prefer the big screen myself. K:9 with Kevin Spacey was my favourite film of recent years. Also a big fan of football - I think Didier Dogba and Jermain Dogfoe will have great seasons this year.

In terms of meeting, you may have misheard - I am a GREY-hound.

-----Original Message-----
From: SILVESTRO GIUSEPPE
Subject: richiesta informazioni.

Dove posso trovare i frigoriferi portatili della Amstrad nella zona di Venezia ?
Grazie

FF Says: Silvestro, Io posso dare solamente consiglio su correre, non su fridges Lei la ciambella.

Pace. Con amore. Abbai.

Just not my night...

2005-08-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

Apologies that this update is on so late - I have only just got my yaptop back from the repairers, and I know you are all desperate to hare what happened last night...

Well I won't lie to you - I had a minor setback and ended up coming in second last, or fourth first as I prefer to call it (trap three was vacant). From the moment I came out of the traps, I never really got going. I was behind at the first bend and was chasing from there on.

Am pretty philosophical about it - I put my non-win down to the new contact lenses I am trying out at the moment. Didn't really like the optician who fitted them the other day. As soon as I walked into his surgery, he started making a spectacle of himself. I mean, I was listening to what he was saying (I always was a good pupil) but I think he had been out on the lashe the night before and so I just plugged in my eye-pod and tried to ignore him. To cut a long story short he started blaming me for not taking care of my vision (I was framed) and he was frankly a pain in the glass.

I walked out eventually and I need to go to someone who understand my needs. Vision is very important to a Greyhound and I don't like the relationship I have with this optician - I can't see a future in it.

Will write more after the weekend (including the full list of 'Ask Frank' requests). Jono says he has a treat for me for the weekend so will tell all in a couple of days!

Remember to keep your 'Ask Frank' questions coming to flyingfrank@frankpr.it - your very last chance.

Have a good one people and remember, if you see a dog - get her number for me...

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Race 10 and other stuff

2005-08-02T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hello Fans,

I hope you are all doing well after the weekend. As for me, I had a really chilled out couple of days. I took a lady friend to Paris and we had the most magical time. Amongst other things we enjoyed a romantic walk down the Bark De Triomphe, visited the Louvre to look at the Bona Lisa and also spent alot of time on the Chomp Elysees. More than anything, it meant that I could be left alone without the puppyrazzi being on my tail the whole time. All in all, very relaxing.

Anyhow, enough of my weekend antics. Just before I launch into my posting though, a bit of general housekeeping...

1) The details of my next race have been announced. I am (hopefully) flying out of trap 2 in the 8.36 at The Stow, this Thursday 4th August. Come and see me, email me for good luck, have a punt on me or just keep your fingers crossed - it is all appreciated.

2) Regular readers - or Triple F's - will know that the topic this week is 'Ask Frank'. This means you can send me your question on any subject under the sun. I have got some great posers in already and I will be posting them all up later in the week. As usual, get your questions into flyingfrank@frankpr.it

Now that that is done, on with today's post, dedicated to two very important people in my life...

Mum and Dad

I'm getting a bit conscious that so far on this blog, you only see the rock 'n roll side of my life and haven't yet got to know me properly. What with one race after the other, the celeb bashes, dates with wannabe models and the like, life goes on at such a pace that I sometimes don't have time to let you in on the stuff that really matters to me. So I'll start with those that brought me up by hand, Mum and Dad, or as we say in Ireland, Mum and Dad (Picture of Daddy is above).

In case you weren't aware, I was born in County Clare, Ireland, on September 1st 2003 to my parents who were paw, but happy. My Mum's name is Ard Flash and my Dad is called Bypass Byway. He's where I got my racing genes from and I look up to him. He's retired now, but the pinnacle of his career came when he won the Greyhound Derby in 2002, setting the course record in the process. He often tells me about that night, the crowd, the buzz, the post-race celebrations. Oh yes, and the not so small matter of the 150,000 Euros prize money that set him up for life. Believe me he was larging it after that win - it was Evian in his bowl all the way.

Sadly, that was his last race. He doesn't like to talk about what happened next, but I think that all the fame and the glory just caught up with him. He was never really a dog that liked being in the public spotlight and there he was, cameras flashing everywhere he went, reporters doorstepping him, investigative journalists probing into his past trying to dish the dirt. It got to the stage that he even found a secret camera hidden in his water bowl. As you know by now, this kind of thing is an occupational hazard that his son takes in his stride - sadly though, It all got too much for Dad and he called it a day.

Mum on the other hand was never really the racing sort. She ran a few races in Cork, but found the female dog circuit, as she always puts it, as "a little too bitchy" for her liking. I guess its a bit like women's professional tennis in that respect. She also mentioned that she was often pestered by some of the butch-er girl dogs, or "gayhounds" as she still refers to them.

I phone home every week or so to speak to Mum and Dad. Jono is a bit tight about letting me use his landline so I've got myself a tariff with Vodabone that's not bad value.

So there you have it...I hope you've got to know me a bit better now - I didn't want to give you the impression that I'm a bit shallow and just over here for the champagne lifestyle. London is a daunting place for a puppy and E17 teaches you a fair bit about life. I'm learning the whole time, I'm sure I'll make mistakes, but with your support I'll get through.

More about family life later and my brothers and sisters. All 541 of them (well they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh ladies?).

Love. Peace. Woof.

FF

Victory number two - the lowdown

2005-07-29T05:30:00.000-07:00

People - you know the score by now.

Last night I powered, or literally flew, to the second victory of my career. And the party is only just winding down. What a night - full of high jinks, booze and ladies (all above board though - no stroke-aine or anything like that). I really am a British full-dog after that bender.

It truly was a magnificent evening - nice balmy conditions and I was in trap 1, which is fast becoming my favorite. I was psyching out the other dogs - I could tell they were terrier-fied of me. Starting at odds of 6-1, I bound out of the trap and took the lead by the fist bend. After that it was full speed ahead to the finish line. I won in a record time of 39.74, therefore breaking that elusive 40 second barrier. I even beat my nemesis and rival Blonde Pearl.....oooh soooo arrogant.... stuffed it up you there mate, didn't I - Blonde Pearl? More like Blonde GIRL!! See you on the track soon buddy...

AND THEN THE CELEBRATIONS STARTED! My owners were there (hmmm.....didn't see those morons so often when I was coming fifth. They were busy don't you know?! and the recent £300 in prize money has no bearing whatsoever on it! That'll pay for another manicure or whatever, I'm sure...) and they came up to the podium with me, patting me, congratulating me etc. Dave the handler told me to smile, be nice and not be rude to them - something about an owner being for life, not just for Christmas...anyhow, once that was over and we had the pictures, got the trophy etc, I retired to my favourite hang out Charlie Chan's. Had a great night with my ladies, which I can't say too much about, except that on my way out someone pinched my wallet. Apparently police are investigating but as yet, they have no leads.

So there you have it....thank you so much to my supporters for all their best wishes. The 'Triple F' club (Friends of Flying Frank) is swelling in number and I would ask you to keep emailing me at flyingfrank@frankpr.it.

As well as your good wishes, I am running a special topic for all Triple F's this week, called 'ASK FRANK'....you can email me any question you like ranging from who my favourite model is to who my favourite Supermodel is and I will post them all up here after the weekend.... the whole capoodle, I promise, with answers! Get them in now - flyingfrank@frankpr.it

That'll do for now - have a good weekend.

Peace. Love. Woof.

How I got on last night

2005-07-29T00:28:00.000-07:00

'Nuff said.

Will post up the full story this afternoon, am feeling a bit worse for wear currently (hare of the dog and all that). Come back soon!

Just a few hours until Race 9!

2005-07-28T01:09:00.000-07:00

Hello fans,

Just a quick note really to remind you to look out for me in the 8.11 at The Stow this evening - will be on first thing tomorrow morning to let you know how I get on (and keep those good luck messages coming to flyingfrank@frankpr.it)

I also wanted to share with you the picture I recently received from my good friend, former England cricket captain Mike Cat-ting. He obviously saw the message from Brian Lara a few weeks back and wanted to get in touch......his message reads " To Flying Frank, Well done on your maiden victory".....hmmm, the truth is we used to get along very well, but Mike had a bit of trouble with boundaries and always used to prefer ducks. That one always had me stumped. Anyway, we go way back so it was good to hear from him...

That's all for now - I am on in a few hours and need to get my head down and start practicing the Bobby Davro Visualisation Technique. Apparently it comes with a safety guarantee - you will never end up in stitches.

wish me luck!

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

The life of a winner

2005-07-25T09:58:00.000-07:00

Hello Fans,

I am loving life, people.

I am Da Dogs Danglies.

Forget these loser mutts who go through life winning the odd race. I have just won my first race and believe me, the sky is now the limit. Whilst the endorsement deals are being dealt with by the peasants at Frank PR (who, surprise of all surprises, came and visited me after my win - hadn't seen you for a few weeks!), I am free to go out and meet my adoring public - I mean, lets face it: Without the race fans who literally worship the track I run on, there would be no greyhound industry and therefore no Flying Frank. A real tragedy.

No sooner had I won my last race, and I was inundated with the usual requests. One such opportunity that I took up was to party hard with my good pal, Lady Isabella Hervey (who you can see above). The 'new face' of Playboy UK visited me with her doggie friend Chloe (who you can see was just a teeny tiny bit jealous of the rapport that me and Izzy share!). We had a great day together - we got our hare done together and then went for a drink at the Kensington Woof Gardens. I was glad we spent a day chatting - it feels like the entire pupulation of Great Britain is after me and it was good to speak to someone who understands the pressures of celebrity fame (and to spend some time with Isabella too).

However, I am now back in training and preparing for my next race. Talking of which, this occurs this Thursday night, at the Stow, at 8.11 pm. It is called the Gala Russell Square Casino Puppy Stayers race, although personally I do my gambling on www.888.com. The race comes with a prize of Â£200 and a trophy for the winner. Although I am in trap 1, it is an open race (meaning any Tom, Dick or Rover can compete) and over a longer distance, so I am being optimistically cautious.

I have had a great week and your calls and emails have really been a joy. Please don't be offended if I don't pick up your call - I am very cautious and always check my collar-ID first. I promised I would put a selection on, so here they are, including a message from my good friend Tim Campbell, the winner of TV's Apprentice.

These all came through via emailing me at flyingfrank@frankpr.it . Please do the same, I appreciate every bit of encouragement I get.

So that's it, read and enjoy and I will see you Thursday! Don't forget to email me - flyingfrank@frankpr.it

P.S - Must say 'hello' to my good friend Lynne who is a waitress at The Crown & Goose. I told you I would mention you!

That'll do for now,

Peace. Love. Woof.

-----Original Message-----
From: Timothy Campbell
To: Flying Frank
Subject: Good one mate!

Double F

Well what can I say? Brilliant news about your first win. It was just a
matter of time. After I saw you come second last Saturday I knew you could
do it! Shame I wasn't there to witness it first hand but I'm sure there
will be others.

Now from one winner to another everyone will be on you to tear open
envelopes and attend celebrity dos (hold out for your VIP pass to Crufts!!)
but my advice is to stick with the guys at Frank PR as they will sort you
out and look after you as they have me.

We'll have to do lunch mate. The bones are on me!
Take care. Enjoy.

tc

FF says: Known to me as TC (but not to you, got that?!), it was really cool to get this email. Top Cat is a diamond geezer and I can't wait till we meet up for a bevvy soon.

The other two emails are also very sweet (Pipa and Goldie, you are joining my ever increasing Bevvy of bitches.)

-----Original Message-----
From: Pipa Unsworth
To: Flying Frank
Subject: Woofing Brilliant!!

Can't believe you did it! have been waiting so long for this moment! When I heard it was like a dream come true! I partied till the early hours of the morning in celebration!
Keep up the good work.looking forward to your next race.

Flying Frank - a legend in the making!
Keep it real.
P.L.W.
Pxx

FF says: Cheers Pippa, can't wait to see you soon. But please stop with the heavy breathing phone calls at 4am - little bit unsettling.

-----Original Message-----
From: Goldie The Dog
To: Flying Frank
Subject: You're my hero FF! I love you!

Dear Flying Frank,
You are the bestest dog ever, even better than Lassie and Snoopy! You are my
hero! I love you.

I read your blog everyday, over and over again, and love to hear your funny
stories. Oh, they make me....

**** flyingfrank.com web editor note - the following 1578 words have been dogleted from site due to explicit content****

Please write back and let me know. I would love to meet you in person.
Peace. Love (you). Woof.
Goldie

FF says: Blimey, that's a bit close to the bone! Will still probably take you out though - any things another notch on the kennel door isn't it?

----------------------------------

Flying Frank = WINNER

2005-07-22T01:07:00.000-07:00

What a Night.

What a glorious, celebratory, key-swapping humdinger of an evening.

I don't think I have been this happy since Kelloggs reconsidered their decision and changed Choco Puffs back to their rightful name, Coco Pops. What a campaign that was...

Anyhow, back to the matter in hand. Yesterday, I ran in my eighth race, the 9.01 at The Stow. I was already feeling good as I stepped onto the track and when they told me that it would be delayed by about 90 seconds, I felt even better. I much prefer the cooler, more comfortable conditions at 9.03 to the hot, stifling, closeness at 9.01, so I knew this could be the one.

I got out of the traps well but got bumped on the first bend. No biggie friends, you can calm down. I then harried for the next 50 metres but just couldn't make any headway. Going into the final bend I was a distant third and then I turned it on big-time. In true Roy-of-the-Rovers style I stretched and strained every sinew and clawed it back - on the line infact, as you can see from the picture above (I am in the red). It took a couple of minutes to get confirmation through, but once I heard, I went ballistic. Some of my owners were there, I went for a drink with them and carried on partying after (more of that on Monday!).

I am a little tired now and so am going to go and get 40 winks (yeah right, who am I kidding? I've got a kennel-load to attend to first!) and will offer some proper analysis on Monday.

In the meantime, please send me your emails of congratulation to flyingfrank@frankpr.it . I am going to collate all my messages and post them up here properly. I have already received one such message this morning, from my good friends at The Sun newspaper online. I thought you might like to see it:

-----Original Message-----
Sent: 22 July 2005 08:13
To: Flying Frank
Subject: RE: Next Race - This Thursday!

Congratulations from all of us at SunSport Online on your maiden win
Frank.
But a word of caution - don't let fame and fortune turn your head.
Please don't change from the humble, down to earth "dog of the people"
we have all grown to love...

-----------------------------

Cheers - I would reply direct but I am too busy sipping champagne, romancing the ladies and getting a pedicure. I am just rushing out to a meeting with a leading Hollywood agent so I will have to reply properly later.

But of course, no, I won't let it go to my head.

that's all for now - more news soon, but please, please, please email me at flyingfrank@frankpr.it

P.S - Big shout to my buddies at www.thehareisonthemove.co.uk. Shame on you for only tipping a place!

P.P.S - Slightly louder shout out to Chas. Don't be shy - come and see me!

P.P.P.S - Loudest shout goes to my Majorcan Posse. They were surely dancing on the streets of Palma De Majorca last night!

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Next Race - this Thursday!

2005-07-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

Hello work colleagues, friends, countrymen and ex-conquests:

Quick note to let you know that my next race is this Thursday at Walthamstow, in the esteemed 'Email: studio@channel425' Stakes at 9.01pm. The Big time indeed.

I am running in Trap 1 and with the very best back up team behind me this could be the time I secure my maiden victory. If I win, my owners will hit the woof!

As I start my preparations, I thought you might like to see a recent email I have received from a good mate of mine, Saira from the TV series 'The Apprentice':

-----Original Message-----
From: SAIRA KHAN
Sent: 18 July 2005 21:44
To: Flying Frank
Subject: The Dogfather

Dear Frank,
I have been onto your website and I must say you really are a dude - If I'd known you were so cute I would have sent you something more than a quick note!

Anyway, would love to see you race - I think I need to give you some good tips about how to get ahead of the game - I am very good at motivating people and I think before any race a quick word in your ear from me will certainly send the wind up your clappers and you'll be running like Carl Lewis!

Let me know when you are next in the traps and I'll pop over to see you.
All my love
SAIRA X

-----------------------

It's really nice to hear from an old buddy like Saz and I am pleased to say that I have emulated her feat by coming runner-up in my last two races.

I am also interested in finding out more about how she is 'going to put the wind up my clappers'. I think my lady friend's chilli beef stew is doing the trick already, thank you very much.

Sazza - if you're reading this (and I know you are) - come down on Thursday and whisper sweet nothings to me before I climb into the trap. I'm sure that will make me bolt like the wind.

See you all Thursday - and feel free to email me here or on flyingfrank@frankpr.it

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Race 7 - I'm getting there!

2005-07-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I think I can now say that I am making some improvements. I had my latest race on Saturday night and I came in second. Let's forget for a moment that there were only three runners. Not only did I improve on my time of last week (I did the 640 in 39.71, as opposed to 40.09 last week) but I beat Armies Vixen, who is becoming a bit of a pain in the neck for me. We seem to keep bumping into each other (literally! don't think I forgot what happened on the final bend that time!), so I was happy to shove it up him. I was also proud of the fact that I secured my owners the princely sum of £40 in prize money, which will hopefully keep the wolves from the door...

So onwards and upwards it seems. I was delighted to see that my mates at www.thehareisonthemove.co.uk are supporting me and have put me on their homepage. I was at home on Saturday night after the race, chilling out listening to some music when I found out. I was drifting away to the sounds of U2 - I just love the voice of Bone-o - and my favourite album 'The Joshua Flea' when I had a yearning to go online. And low and behold, there I was, pride of place on the home page! All in all a great end to a very positive week.

So I am going out to train now - what a scorcher eh? Some of the ladies in this kennel are wearing very little I can tell you! - and will let you know when my next race is. In the meantime, keep logging onto my page and let me know what you think.

PS - special shout out to my Majorcan posse - you know who you are!

Peace. Love. Woof.

And then Sunday got even better...

2005-07-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of the lovely Lauren Pope who joined me after the race on Saturday. Bit of a cracker, eh? Whilst I have told you before that I am a gentleman, and that a gentleman never tells, I can say that we had a wonderful evening after she saw my appearance on Sky channel 425 in the 8.39.

They say that these type of people come crawling out the woodwork once you have been on the telly, but that's a load of rubbish. Lauren is a good pal and wherever she is around the world - be it New York, Paris or Stockton-on-Tees - she is always there with a shoulder to bark on. She is always telling me to quiet down - or to 'hush puppy', as she likes to say.

Our story is quite a nice one to share. There I was one day at a flea market (I always go there to get rid of my old wares) near my holiday home on the Isle of Dogs when I saw the prettiest face staring back at me. We both wanted the same bottle of Dog Perignon and from there a relationship was born. We got talking, went for a drink, listened to some Bark (is that how you spell it?) and now we regularly meet up to go to China Whites and the like, or simply stay in and tune into Watchdog. Sometimes we get together with a few of her friends and have a large one. No jokes about doing it doggy style please (she's not that type of girl).

So there you have it - I saw Lauren the other day and she asked me to put this message up. My next race is this Saturday night in the 20.53 - be there or be a cat!

Later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank is back...

2005-07-11T02:53:00.000-07:00

Had a bit of a lie in on Saturday, tucked into my bowl of Frosties (me and Tony are old mates), settled down in front of Ministry of Mayhem, nothing unusual there.

Suddenly Jono comes bounding into the kennels clad only in his extra large M & S Y-fronts. He does that sometimes when he's a bit frazzled (or when he's had a big night on the Guinness). One of the other dogs barked to me that he could see a Colemanball which I thought was quite amusing.

Anyway, he came over to me and said I was running tonight. I wasn't at all prepared and I think that was probably in Jono's mind, he knows now that if I spend too much time thinking about my next race it gets me over nervous and affects my form.

He's like that is Jono: not only a great trainer, but his psychological approach to greyhound racing in my opinion is second-to-none. He continues to set new standards in his study of the mental side of the sport which is more important than most people think. He's the Arsene Wenger of the dog world in my opinion. Just the other day, after I'd trailed in fifth and felt quite down, he took the time to sit with me and remind me of his faith in me and how he believed I could be the best greyhound in the world if I wanted it enough.

And before I knew it I was there in the traps in the 8.39 at Walthamstow, running over my new preferred longer distance of 640 metres - with my mind right. But I was up against some stiff competition in the Zenon Security Trophy and dogs that had run nearly a second faster than me over that trip. Running for the first time out of Trap 1, I got off to my best ever start, hitting the first bend in third place. This time there were no bumps or baulks and I was - like it says on the tin - flying. With 200 metres to go I eased into second place and approaching the finishing line I was gaining, but alas not quite in time. I finished in 40.09 seconds (0.08 seconds behind the winner), comfortably the best performance of my puppyhood.

Whilst the Flying Frank of old would have celebrated with a glass or three of Monkey Shoulder, a great new whisky I've discovered (check it out at www.monkeyshoulder.com), the new Flying Frank went home, had his bowl of water, played a bit of barkgammon with his dog pals and was tucked up in bed before midnight. Dreaming of glory.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Race 5...and still alive (just)

2005-07-06T00:58:00.000-07:00

My name is Flying Frank and I am a rubbish dog.

There. I've said it.

No better last night, I'm afraid. As usual, myself, Jono and the boys at Frank were full of optimism ahead of the big race but, once again, I failed to deliver. My record so far is:

2nd
4th
5th
4th
5th

Doesn't look too clever does it?

Whilst I know I am currently about as quick as Jade Goody, I know the tide will change and I just need everyone to get off my back. Take the boys at Frank - I had a quick chat with them the other day on the old cat and bone (we have to do these things, all tied up in the sponsors contract, see) and though they were positive, I could tell that they want me to start winning soon. I think it was the bit about them coming to chop my balls off if I don't that gave it away. They also told me to stop being a cry puppy.

I don't really want to dwell on last nights result but I thought I would let you know anyway. I have a big week coming up, so I need to focus. As well as training, I have to go to court tomorrow - I recently got a barking ticket.

Many thanks for reading this, please send me a good luck message and I will notify you of my next race.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Race 5!

2005-07-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

Don't have time to write much, but....my next race is Tuesday 5th July, 8.36 at Walthamstow. Place your bets on the Flyer!

Back home

2005-06-30T05:41:00.000-07:00

well, as you can tell from the title, I am back in Jono's yard following my recent break.

As I said before, I just had to get away, and even though my good friend Jeffrey from Rainbow was in town for one night only, I knew that Darlo was the place for me and that I would have to sack Jeffers off. He is quite content up above the streets and houses, flying high, anyway.

Darlo is the only place I can really call home, you know, where I can relax and where no-one judges me. Oh yeah, and they have women with extremely loose morals, but that has got nothing to do with it (and my deal with a national paper forbids me from telling you anyway).

So I am back, focused and raring to go. I know that my performances so far have been paw, but I am hoping to raise the standards next time I am on the track. Last Saturday there was a dog there who really got on my nerves. CJ his name is. He was giving it large in the kennels, let me tell you. There he came, strolling in with his bling and his bitches, romped home to a win and then took a particular lady I have a fondness for home with him. He also gives it LOADS about his celebrity owner - dontcha just hate that shallow name-dropping? I would never tell anyone about my close friendships with the likes of Girls Aloud, Jimmy Somerville and Virginia Bottomley.

He also nicked my bowl of water. Big mistake pal. Let me tell you mate - no one crosses me and gets away with it - I will see you on the track.

As for my next race, Jono has given me the weekend off to re-charge my batteries. I know that I need to start winning soon. If I don't I will start chasing my own tail - it'll be the only way to make ends meet.

I will let you know when I am next on - this coming Tuesday or Thursday I would have thought - but in the meantime, please support me by posting a message or emailing me at flyingfrank@frankpr.it. Better still, why not come down and see me? The dudes at Frank PR (AKA - the Cash cows, according to Jono) come, but I don't see many others - yet. Let me know.

For now though...

Later.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Race 4 - First is first, second is nowhere. Fourth...And it's the butchers window

2005-06-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

I'm going to keep this brief because I am currently in transit. I am on a National Express coach (do they call it Greyhound in America?), on my way to visiting an old flame in Darlington - Darlo to those in the know - and the WiFi on my laptop is playing up, so I will stick to the brass tacks:

I came fourth last night and my life and career is spiraling out of control, hence the reason I am taking some time to get away from it all in Darlo. I don't why this is happening to me but for some reason I just can't pull it all together. All of a sudden I realise that when Jono tells me "You've got a career in medical science ahead of you", he doesn't mean as a chemist.

When you are a top level sportsman, you live and die by your results and mine aint looking too pretty. I have tried cutting back on my celebrity lifestyle - I did just the one DJ set last week - and as for the ladies...well, I am practically a Monk! See the picture below if you don't believe me - I restricted myself to just three last night.

What I need - desperately - is a win and I have come to Darlo to see if the town can give me some inspiration. I am heading down to Escapades nitespot tomorrow and I hope this is just the tonic.

Wish me luck - will let you know on my adventures.

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

2005-06-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

This is about the only thing good thing that happened to me last night - a visit from my bitches. As you can read above though, the whole experience left me knackered, feeling under pressure.....and itchy.

2005-06-23T01:51:00.000-07:00

I was going to tell you news of my next race, but I thought I would get my good friend, cricket legend Brian Lara to tell you about it instead...as you can see from the picture, it is tonight and despite Brian's mistake (that's Brian for you!) it is at 8.23 tonight (Thursday), not 8.29........He's a good mate and all but calling me just 'Frank'? Bit familiar isnt he? We had a good night out together, on the lash with some ladies and some rum, but still....see you tonight!

Saturday night - Armageddon

2005-06-21T00:43:00.000-07:00

Another race, another failure for me. I came fifth on Saturday night which means my professional racing record so far reads: 2nd, 4th, 5th. This isn't good and I am terrier-fied.

I don't quite know what the problem is - it could be that I am burning the midnight oil a bit too much (I did do a personal appearance at Jumpin Jaks in Carlisle this week) but I don't think so. It could also be that I am paying a bit too much attention to the ladies - some bitch broke my heart a few days ago - but I don't think it's that either. Maybe it's the company that I am keeping (Snoop Dog is an old pal) - I just don't know. What I do know is that if I don't pull my socks up and start performing I will be appearing at a barbecue near you soon. Marinated.

Jono said it's time to put the past behind me and look forward. He has booked me into a race this Thursday (23rd June) and its over a longer distance, which he said might suit me better. He is being quite kind to me, although he does keep telling me to get it together to 'squeeze more from the eejits' at Frank PR who own me. I am not sure what an eejit is, or why they need squeezing, but Jono has a really nice sports car and I think they assist him with that in some way.

So there you have it - I am a bit down this week. I haven't really been performing and it's time I delivered. See you on Thursday - wish me luck!

Peace. Love. Woof.

FF

Next race!

2005-06-17T05:10:00.000-07:00

Stop the press people!

I am now racing tomorrow night - Saturday 18th June in the 8.39 at Walthamstow. This has come as a bit of a surpise as I was planning on having it large this weekend. I had a bit of tai chi planned with Tony Slattery and Bouncer from Neighbours as it happens.

Now I need to focus on the race, get my head down and hopefully I can come out of the traps a stormer. Will let you know how I get on - wish me luck!!!

2005-06-16T00:56:00.000-07:00

Here is after the race on Saturday when the winners and their owners got their trophy. You're probably thinking what I'm thinking - but no, the dog didn't get eaten by his owners after.
Jono told me to keep this image fresh in my mind, remember how much it hurts and turn it into a positive. One day I too will be dressed up like a PG tips monkey and paraded for general amusement. Bring it on! Will let you know when my next race is - should be soon!

2005-06-16T00:53:00.000-07:00

Thought you might like to see some pictures from last Saturday's race. This is me before the action. As I said - and as you can probably tell - I was feeling a bit ruff.

Race 2 - Saturday 11th June

2005-06-13T01:25:00.000-07:00

So as most of you know, I ran in my second professional race on Saturday night, the 8.39 at Walthamstow - and what a complete, unmitigated disaster it was.

I had it all planned. I would stroll up to Walthamstow, flirt with a couple of ladies, down a quick bevvy in the bar followed by Scampi and chips and then make my way down to the track. From there, I would power to my first win, pose for a picture with my owners and then paint the town red with my good mates Robbie from Eastenders (I know him through my close pal Wellard) and Barry Chuckle. We were on the VIP list at Faces nightclub in Ilford and it promised to be a stormer.

What actually happened was a bit different. When I got on the track, all I could hear was "Flying Frank! I'm gonna bet on Flying Frank!" from the punters and that made me a little nervous. All of a sudden the Bobby Davro visualisation technique went out of the window and I felt very uneasy. With a starting price of 10-3, I was slow out of the traps and from there I never really recovered. My owners think I got bumped on the first corner, and whilst Jono has told me to keep to that official line, the truth is I never really got over a dodgy Rogan Josh I had the night before. I was out with an "ex Hollyoaks actress" (That's all I'm saying - a gentleman never kisses and tells!) and I think I overdid it. I eventually came in fourth and my owners from Frank PR - who love me as a dog and not just as a novelty, oh no - were out of there quick smart. No photos, no "Frank, you're the Dog's Bo****ks", none of that.

When I got home, Jono hit the woof. He told me that I need to get my head down and cut out the celebrity excesses. Some of my mates were a little nicer. My current squeeze tried to cheer me up by telling me that 'Rome wasn't built in a day". True - but then I am Irish and has an Irish builder ever been later delivering a job? I don't think so.

Hey ho - I will learn from this and do better next time. I will keep you updated on my next race - in the meantime, please continue to post me messages - it cheers me up, particularly as I can see a vet coming over here with a rubber glove on his hand. Also, thanks to those who have posted already - it's good to hear from you.

Speak soon.

Later.

Peace. Love. Woof.

My first race

2005-06-09T01:26:00.000-07:00

So now you know all about me, and now that I am settled in at Jono's yard, it's time I started racing. Which I did, last Tuesday, May 31st at the Greyhound theatre of dreams, Walthamstow.

My day started with a surprise. There I was, over breakfast, having just finished my crunchy nut, moving onto toast with an espresso in my hand (on raceday, I know! Don't tell Jono!) when I saw my name in the Racing Post. I was there in black and white - Flying Frank, in the 9.03, trap 4. Rock on! These are the sorts of days you dream about as a dog and I wanted to put on a good show, particularly as my owners were coming down.

The next few hours were a blur - a procession of massages, last minute preparations, bandages, some lady fun (always good on raceday), old 'mates' coming out of the woodwork asking for tickets...You know the drill. Anyway, I was just focused on the race and soon enough 9.03 arrived. I got a little walk down the track, then was put in the starting cage. At this point I was focused. On one thing only. That bloody rabbit. I use a technique called visualisation, taught to me by old mate Bobby Davro. He would be a hopeless, failed comedian without it, let me tell you.

And we were off. Racing. The wind in my hair, going round the first corner and....I got bumped! Some hound hit me! At this point I was last but I really wanted to put on a show for my owners so I steadily made ground on the rest, caught up and, at the finish post....I had come in second! Fantastic. Not only had I turned in a place in my first race - with a starting price of 8-1 - but I had also scooped a massive Â£27 in prize money for my owners. Not that I'll be seeing any love from the money-grabbing, penny-pinching....ahhhh, relaxxxxxx

After the race my owners from Frank PR came down to see me in the kennels. They seemed alright, but wanted to stroke me and stuff and I don't really think that a top-class sportsman should be treated like that, do you? They also made some jokes about them wanting me to Winalot of races. They nearly got a bite on the nuts for that, I can tell you, but Jono says I have to behave myself in front of the corporate suits. Something about 'paying for the holiday home in Marbella'.

So there you have it - race one and second place. I am next on on Saturday 9th June in the 8.49. Pop down if you like or wish me a message of good luck on here - it all helps. You never know, soon I might be a famous dog, gracing the covers of celebrity magazines. A dog on Heat, if you like.

Later.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Welcome to my Blog - Introduction, June 2005

2005-06-07T01:41:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

So let me tell you what this is all about. My name is Flying Frank and I am real, live, racing Greyhound. I am owned by the ladies and gentleman at Frank PR. Let me tell you, it doesn't make you feel so good to keep being told that you are 'owned' by someone, I might end up consulting my union about it - but I digress. Anyway, the deal works like this - they brought me over here from Ireland (more about that later), sent me to John Coleman's place (more about him later too) and now I run every few days at Walthamstow dog track. Here's my quick guide to the movers and shakers in my life so far:

Me & my background

I was born and bred in Ireland and have only actually been living in the UK for a couple of months now. I guess you could say I fit all the usual stereotypes of a young Irish male - I'm young, brash, like a Guinness, am up for the craic and go down a storm with the ladies. I'm also big mates with the other fellas on the Irish celebrity circuit - Bono, Ronan Keating, Frank Carson and Gerry Adams are all personal friends and I even had a pyjama party with Brian from Big Brother recently. That was weird.

My birth name was actually Ard Highway, but the fellas at Frank PR soon saw to that and made me change my name. They told me it would be like a stage name and that it was because I was special. I didn't really believe them, so they offered to give me Pedigree chunks rather than the Tesco value stuff and the deal was sealed.

Coming to the UK

After doing my doggie apprenticeship in Ireland I was brought over to the UK by a trainer called John Coleman. I know what you're thinking. Is this Jono Coleman, the tubby aussie, radio DJ, media personality and former celebrity dad of the year? No it's not. It's just an Irish fella with the same name.

So John brought me to his yard and that's where I spend my days, eating, training and romancing the ladies. Let me tell you, there are some honeys round here! John is an excellent trainer and I know he thinks I can go onto better things. He only has my best interest at heart and is always on the phone to my owners. After he ends each call, he always laughs for a while and then shouts "One born every minute!". I'm not sure what this means but I think it's a good thing.

My life is good fun and as well as being a greyhound, I like to do what I can with my spare time. As any top-level sportsman will tell you, you have big chunks of time to fill in between training and I like to keep myself busy. I like to read, watch a bit of TV and chill out with a nice bowl of water while listening to music. I am also currently learning French (again, the ladies love this). I recently saw an advert on TV for LearnDirect where they offer computer courses, which is the reason I now have this blog. Whilst I wouldn't say I am brilliant on the computer, it's not bad for a dog is it?!

This blog

Unfortunately, John is calling me out to train and has a lovely, juicy rabbit in his hand so I have to go. Some of the other fellas claim it's a fake rabbit but I reckon they are just annoyed cos they can never catch it. One day I will and I will devour the elusive bugger whole.

So I have got to go - I will keep you up to date with my racing career. In the meantime, please feel free to to add your comments, ask questions and keep updated with whatever you like.

Byeee!

Peace. Love. Woof.

2005-06-06T01:43:00.000-07:00

This is me with my owners. They are OK but one of them was a little 'friendly'.