Roy the Boy

Now, I can see that instantly you may well have a few questions as you are reading the start of this blog. Well let me stop you right away pardner, and answer them:

1) No, I'm still not racing. It's been seven weeks now. Or, to put it another way, 45 days. That's 1015 in dog days you know.

2) No, it's not a waxwork in the picture. That is in fact the Grrright Honourable Gentlemen, Mr 'Raving' Roy Hattersley, or The Raver, as I call him. For those of you who are not sure, The Raver is a politician and was deputy leader of the Labour party for many years.

He's now retired and since then we have become good mates (we often get together for a Mass Debate). His message isn't a straightforward one as you can see, and touches a nerve actually. No, I can't read it either (but that's the Raver!) but it says something to the effect of "I hope that when you retire, they don't put you through the mincer". As if! The Raver obviously hasn't been down to the Claverhambury Kennels...Jono my trainer loves his dogs, we all get treated really well, looked after, fed properly etc etc. In fact, because I'm not racing at the moment, they have told me that if it is really getting me down, and if I am still not racing in a couple of months time, they will send me on an all expenses-paid holiday to Korea! You can't get looked after much better than that now can you?

I suppose the only other thing you probably want to know is WHY I'm not racing right now. To tell you the truth, this cold weather doesn't really agree with me. I am very much a warm-weather racer and if you look back at my statistics, you will see that I took a few weeks out on the beach at this time last year. In many ways, I should be a Barbados-based greyhound, but somehow I ended up in Walthamstow. Nevertheless, Jono tells me that a week or two and I should be back in fighting form. Flippin bored not racing at the moment, though! There is only so much Sudoko a dog can do! I've also been on a couple of dates as well (ALOT of women like the ruff and ready type) but I just can't wait to get back in the traps again.

Soon, hopefully. Paws crossed.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Vaughan and Bred

Hiya - I won't lie to you, it aint a great time for me right now. For some reason, I'm not racing which, as well as meaning I am stagnating and not earning any money, it also means I don't have too much to write about on my blog.

I'm pretty down at the moment, I tell you - luckily though an old Pedigree chum of mine, England Cricket Captain Michael Vaughan, popped a message in the other day - you can see it in the picture, "You're a Vaughn winner", it says. Interestingly, he can't spell his own surname. Even so, me and the Vaughan-meister go along way back - we often sit around chewing the fat, sinking a few pints and taking the Michael out of people. He's a Vaughan winner that boy is and...and I can't say too much here...he certainly knows how to bowl a maiden over! He never seems to know where he is going though....sorry, the details are classified, but put it this way - his Dography is awful!

At least he has a left a message of encouragement which, in these hard times, is like manor from heaven for a mutt like me...you can also keep them coming to woof@flyingfrank.com

I hope and pray with all my heart that the next time I write I can tell you of news about my next race...fingers, toes, paws, everything crossed.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

The life of Ryan

Watcha,

Well, listen I suppose first things first. I've got to say something about the picture that is beneath this posting. She's been in the news alot recently, has Miss Lloyd, and you are probably expecting the usual fare from me about her. The whole thing has been a bit unsavoury hasn't it? I think I'll leave it at that.

So anyway, there I was the other day, minding my own business in the dole queue and who should I bump into? None other than the fella who used to be in the pop group Blue...what's his name now? I've got it here somewhere...erm...Lou Ryan! That's it! No....Lee Ryan! sorry, it's very difficult to remember these people when they aren't on T4 anymore, isn't it? Anyway, he's a lover-lee bloke with the voice of an Angel. A Hells Angel you might say...no, he never leaves me feeling Blue, which is perhaps the most obvious pun in the world. Anyway, I need all the support I can get right now BECAUSE I AINT FLIPPIN RACING. Ask my trainer Jono why, but this is my reason for being, my livelihood and vocation in life AND THE FLIPPIN BLIGHTER WONT RACE ME...ahem, not that I'm getting a little bit concerned.

I suppose that the one saving grace is that my brief hiatus has allowed me to go into the studio and lay down some tracks in the studio with Lee and the other Blue boys (and Bobby Ball - we are calling it the 'Big Balls up'). Our tracks are going to be a combination of West African-influenced mozart-hip hop, all played on a ukaleley. Or something like that - he's a bit of a loose cannon is that Lee.

Right, so I am off.

Big shout out to my main man AB who is catching some rays for the next few weeks. Remember the open necked shirt/smart-casual look is fine, you know it makes sense.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Every nook and Dani

Hello Campers,

I hope 2007 has been treating you well so far. For me, well it's been a slow start to the year - one race (this last Tuesday) and I came fourth. Bumped by some mongrel on the bend, wasn't I? Darn it.

What's more, one of my very sexy lady friends has only gone inside the Celebrity big Brother House! That's right, Danielle Lloyd, Miss Great Bristol's herself, has gone and got herself on the telly. LUCKILY THOUGH....before she went in, she managed to send me a very special message, which you can see above.

The Playboy bit is of course a reference to the shoot she did for the magazine..she actually asked me whether she should do it..."what's the Big Bother" , I said? I suppose the rest is history but I hope that when Sigmund, as I call her( as in Sigmund Freud...Lloyd), leaves the TV show she still has time for the love of her life, The Flyer.

I'll tell you this - when we are together we have one Danielle of a time. When she's out, if she doesn't pick up the phone and give me a Davina McCall, I will no longer consider her a model friend. Doubtless she's made a few new pals whilst she's been in there, but as I was Leo Sayering to someone only the other day, she hardly leaves me (Carole) Malone usually, so I am sure she hasn't forgotten where her bread is buttered.

And as for that Teddy Sheringham chap she's 'dating' - she don't need a nip of Sheri when I'm a-hound, let me tell you!

That's all for now - keep it all coming to woof@flyingfrank.com people. Love you all.

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

The Other Flying Frank

Merry Crimbo my old chums. Actually, Christmas time always reminds me of...erm Christmas.

I don't think the above picture needs much of an introduction. Eager readers of www.flyingfrank.com will know that this is the celeb picture I have been after for a while, the big one - the other Flying Frank, Lampard, who named himself after me.

I was delighted that the Chels-flea and Eng-grrrrr-land midfielder has finally been able to admit he is a fan and show some overdue respect to the one and only Dog with a Blog. I mean, I am already good pals with alot of the folk over at Chelsea - like my close pal Didier Dog-ba and old Pedigree Chum John Terry-ier. Because of that, it was good to finally grant the young lad an audience with his idol. It all came about when I was doing some of my now-famous Christmas visits to those less fortunate than me. I am not sure whether it was the Mourinho-meister or not, but someone phoned up Jono, my trainer (and self-styled Abramovitch of the greyhound world), and asked if I would make a special visit to the Magic Lamp (as I call him) and some of the other underpriveldiged kids at Stamford Bridge who were feeling a bit blue (they have to work on Christmas day you know!).

As a result of my pep-talk with The Flyer ( not me, him) I took him down to see me at Walthamstow last week, where he could view a real champ in action. I think he got alot out of it (must be the Scampi, chips and pint which HE STILL HASN'T PAID ME BACK FOR)...and best of all, he got to see me romp home to a cheeky victory just before Christmas.

Actually, Christmas time always reminds me of the time I met Frank's lady friend, Ellen. ho, ho, ho and all that.

I don't have much more to say to you - if i don't speak to you before have a great Christmas and keep your eyes peeled for my next race.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank (The original and only dog with a Blog)

P.S - A big you-never-write-you-never-call-i-never-even-got-a-bleeding-christmas-card shout out to my owners at Frank PR who have just won 'PR Agency of the Year 2006' for the second year in a row...you can check them out at www.frankpr.it

Turner-ing the corner

Yo Blair! (as I once said to the Prime Minister)

What a week. What a only-the-most-important-race-of-my-life week! After a year of plying my trade in the Ryman Premier League of greyhound racing (shout out to my pal Marvin, the Bergkamp of Borehamwood FC), on Tuesday night I graduated to the Chumpions League of the sport. Bit more later on that, first a bit of housekeeping:

That race I told you about in my last post, I came third. W (it stands for Whatever. It's what all the young dogs are saying down the kennells, whilst they listen to Snoop and Pawtishead on their i-pups). Who gives a Flying Frank? got bigger fish to fry...

...like this race on Tuesday night just gone. 'Twas the Racing Post Festival down at The Stow. It doesn't get much bigger than that I can tell you. Even Sky Sports were there, complete with presenter legend Gary Newbon, or The Borbon as I call him (he really takes the biscuit). £1000 on offer for the winner of my race - as opposed to the usual ton (which those tight-fisted hoodlums at Frank PR never show me anyway). A massive crowd was there to cheer me and the stow was busier than the family planning clinic on Essex high road.

So why on earth did I stuff up big time, come fifth and embarass myself infront of literally dozens of avid SKY TV greyhound fans?

You tell me. Answers on a postcard to woof@flyingfrank.com

Anyway, as I woke up in a bout of depression on Wednesday morning, I had a note that dropped into my basket. It was from my good friend (and one-time lover) Anthea Turner, who sent the above message to me. Bunsen as I call her (Bunsen Burner - Anthea Turner), has always Turner-ed me on. I met her through her sister Tina and ever since then she has kept in touch. Infact, since she got married she has taken to sending me regular boxes of Cadbury's Snowflakes. Enough already - surely it's someone elses Turn.

It could be that Bunsen's chocolate has been what has been hampering me in recent races. Since Wednesday I have had a pure diet of only Water, Pedigree Chum and Ladies. I am focused for my next race - this Saturday night, 8.15pm at The Stow.

Watch this space, racing fans.

Enough for now,

Shabbat Shalom

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Seeing Red

Hello fans and fellow Triple F's

Some timely advice this week, as you can see in the message from my good friend, confidant and bank manager, Jamie Redknapp.

"Don't get caught Red-knapping" the former international midfielder and heart-throb muses.

And I tell you, he knows as much about conditioning The Flyer as his old man does about Football management. You see, I won last week and I need good friends like Redders to keep my feet on the ground. As a result, I was only too happy to take on his advice. You see, I have known him and his wife Louise for some time. An Eternalaty, you could say. He was a great lad with a ball at his feet and he hasn't changed since he retarted from football. If you know your French you will understand what I mean when I say: J'aime Jamie. The only thing that really annoys me about him is that he is so flippin' good looking and so flippin' good at football. I mean, surely you should only have, as a maximum, one of those things?

Anyway, enough about the JamieRedknapptheonewhousedtoplayforLiverpool-meister and more about The flyer-meister. Following my victory last week, Jono my trainer has entered me into a race tonight at the Stow. 19.58pm is the time of the race and if you are smart you will see that that is in half an hour. You are probably wondering how I am writing this so close to the race....I'm keeping it under my hat for now, but answers on a postcard...

Enough for now.

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank


P.S - Shout going out to the Frank PR posse - loved what you came up with!

Nifty at Fifty

Hey guys,

Just a little note to say I've now reached my half century of races! Not bad for a dog from the backstreets of Cork, eh? And they said I'd be glue before you know it! My record, for the aficionados amongst you, is:

Run: 50
Won: 11
Ladies: 94

And my sight is still perfect! To celebrate, I'll be running in my 51st race, tomorrow night at the Stow, 7.44pm. And they don't come much bigger: three hundred notes to the winner, plus trophy, plus first dibs on the future Mrs Flyer when i get back to the Kennels.
Will let you know how I get on - watch this space!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

A Sweeney Prod

Anyhow, been a very busy few weeks, my recent results looking promising...infact I have had two massive wins (& trophy's) in the last ten days, with my most recent victory coming last night down at the Stow. There were a few things that I was very pleased about from last nights performance:

1) My starting price was 5-1. That's a few more english pounds under my vest, let me tell you (and boy, did I celebrate - hair of the dog this morning or what!)

2) My biggest prize money to date - £175. That'll be sent home to the family in Ireland I can tell you.

3) I beat that Club Jewel dog. Always riled me has CJ, and it pleases me no end to be giving her an absolute walloping on an ongoing basis

The only fly in the ointment is that the boys and girls from Frank PR couldn't make it last night. They 'claim' that they didn't know I was racing...hmmm, not sure about that one. See you on Saturday Chaps/Chappesses?

Anyhow, seeing as this is my only day off before I race again tomorrow (Can you believe it?!), Jono has decided to let me get near the yaptop and post online. Imagine my delight too, when I log on and see that my good friend and Thespiana (for that is the correct term for a female actor) Claire Sweeney has decided to drop me a line (see above) as well as a photo of support. What a great girl she is - I know she is busy at the moment up on stage with that Fattrick Swayze fella in 'Guys & Dolls' but she is such a sweeneyheart and always has time for her old mucker, the Flyer. Infact, I could not make this any more Clairer than it already is - we are very, very close friends and whilst I can't divulge the exact nature of our relationship, I can tell you that only last week I visited her London hotel and gave her a right royal.....sorry, my lawyers tell me I have to stop there. A right royal shake of the hand, followed by a lengthly debate on Economic reform, I think is what they would prefer I say.

I need to get off now to go and prepare for tomorrow. Around 7.48 at Walthamstow if you're interested.Byyee for now...

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Busy Bee

Well it's been a busy time, the last few weeks or so.

You will notice that the last time I blogged was the 6th July. "Why so long ago?", I hear you asking (I have very good hearing you see and I can hear you asking that from all the way over here in Claverhambury).

Is it because The Flyer doesn't care about his fans anymore? No way, Jose. That's not the case, I need all the fans I can get (Jono's turned the air con off, you see)

Is it because 'The Regime' don't like this blog? It's true, they don't like it but there is nowt they can do about it, so worry ye not

Is it because The Flyer has run out of celebrity fans to put on flyingfrank.com? YOU ARE HAVING A GIRAFFE. I have got more 'sleb friends than you could shake a stick at, but I choose to put them up in my own time. Mind you, I am still after the real-life Flying Frank Lampard. IF ANYONE SEES HIM, LET ME KNOW, I AM DESPERATE FOR IT.

No, the simple reason that I haven't posted is that I have been busier than David Beckenham's tattoo artist. Run off my feet I have been, with a mammoth six races in the last 24 days. It's busy this hurdling lark, but you won’t find me complaining. No Siree. It keeps everyone happy, not least of all the boys and girls who own me at Frank PR, who have seen me win again. My results in that time have been:

6th July - 5th place
8th July - 3rd place
15th July - WINNER
22nd July - 2nd place
27th July - 4th place
29th July - 5th place

Up and down results, I'll grant you, which is why it was good to hear from my good mate, Gaz, lead singer of the band Supergrass. His message reads "Flying Frank - you are a Superdog". Good lad - He's Alright, is Gaz. We met a few years ago and found that we had alot in common. We're young, we're free, and we both keep our teeth nice and clean, that sort of thing. And if anyone can name any of their other songs for me to make a couple of jokes about, let me know at woof@flyingfrank.com

Right, best be off then. It's Sunday, which is visitor’s day at the kennels. It's the day when the owners of the dogs are invited to come and visit. Except my owners are probably too busy making some PR or whatever (they never write, they never call...).

See ya for now - and anyone who comes across Flying Frank Lampard, you know where to find me...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Club Tool

Well, I didn't do fantastic in my race last week....fifth in fact. Never really got going from the start and my fast-becoming-nemesis, Club Jewel didn't fare much better. Luckily my handler, Dave the part-timer, kept us well apart at the track, otherwise CJ would have found himself getting well and truly Flying Franked.

Anyway, the wannabe, pretender-to-the-throne has sent me the following message:

Dear Frying Flank,

I see we’ve been scheduled for a re-match tonight. Bring it on!
The public just can’t get enough of us.
Don’t expect to get anywhere near that winner’s podium though cos there’s a spot reserved for me and there certainly ain’t room for the two of us.

I just hope you like the view of my backside - that’s all you’ll be seeing come 7.58.

I’ll treat you to hare ‘n’ chips after the race to show there’s no hard feelings.

See you tonight, Dog Breath.



Altogether now - 1,2, 3: WHATEVER!!

Yes, it's true, we are racing against each other tonight and I suppose it's a kind offer from CJ to treat me to hare 'n' chips after the race, although I can do without him rabbitting on all night. We shall see.

In any case, a really good mate of mine, Tricky Trevor Brooking, has sent a message in (see above) which should leave you in no doubt who his favourite dog is. Sir Tricky Trevalot (as I know him) is an old mate, not to mention loyal. Although you already know that, seeing as he played for West Ham for many years. Always went on about blowing bubbles. Strange fellow.
Anyway, on with the William Hill stakes, at the Stow tonight, 19.58pm - a trophy race, no less.
wish me luck!


Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Racey fella

Thought you might like to know when my next personal appearance was going to be...er, tonight.

Jono has booked me into an open race tonight at the Stow. Open race meaning that any Tom, Dick or Harry can try and take on the Original Frankster. Bring 'em on, I say. It's the 20.48 'Four Handed Retirement Hurdle' race, which reminds me of a very good night some time back....anyhow, it'll be tough, but I'm looking forward to it.

Bit of a pain actually, because I was already booked to do a meet and great Jumpin' Jaks in Darlington, my old haunt. Shame. That's thirty quid (plus expenses) I'll never see again.
The main competitor I have in the race tonight is some fella called Club Jewel. Club Fool, more like. Let's just say we have a history. He's owned by a syndicate called the Four Tops and I will put it like this: When we are flying round the bends, he better not so much as Reach Out - (cos) I'll be there.

Wish me luck!

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Frankie's Beck in Town

Watcha Peeps. It's onwards and upwards round these parts, I tell ya. At the start of the year, it went from bard to verse. Then I ditched the Shakespeare and I took some time out. It's an open secret that a 'rest' was forced on me by Jono, my trainer and I wasn't too happy about it. We nearly had some 'artistic differences', lets say. Or, to not put too fine a point on it, Jono nearly had some enforced 'artistic differences' with certain areas of his anatomy. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have now retrained as a hurdler and last Saturday night was my third race in my new discipline.

As you can see from the brief posting below, I came fifth in my first race and runner-up in my second. Well on Saturday night I was back where I belong. Biggest night of the week at Walthamstow, all the lovely ladies done up to the nines, the smell of scampi and chips wafting through the air....and a lovely present promised to be from my current squire if I do the business.

There is only one option in these situations, one thing I can do. Run like the clappers, in the true spirit of Flying Frank Lampard (my hero) and give it everything.

Guess what.

I only flipping well won. What a night, what a result. I won. I burger-flippin, chip-frying, chilli-sauce pouring, salmonella catchingly-well won. Top of the pile, King of the hill. I'm back.

As if that wasn't enough motivation, when I got home, there was this lovely message (see above) from my good friend Becks. You might not know this, but he actually used to work at The Stow as a glass collector in his youth. Ever since then, we have become bosom buddies. I guess the seeds of our friendship were sown when we went for a really expensive slap-up chicken meal at a fancy restaurant. Always did have a thing for a Posh Bird. After that, we would meet up all the time, especially for me to give him fashion advice (although once I got it Sarong it was embarrassing). Anyway, we still keep in touch now that he is at Real Muttrid (Grrrronaldo is another good mate) and I was touched with his message.

I don't want to go into it too much, but there was a little embarrassing incident that happened at the weekend with me and the big man. You know how he was sick in the middle of the Ecuador game on Sunday? Well...guilty as charged! Let's just say we got together the night before and let our hair down, the next thing you know it was: one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR**!

Hey ho, onwards and upwards got to go and do a celebrity appearance at Bluewater shopping centre with The Chuckle Brothers. Will let you know when my next race is!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S. - A big shout out to my latest homeboy and Triple F (Friend of Flying Frank), Mr Ian H, who now joins the flyingfrank.com Hall of Fame with the other members. Keep spreading the FF love, Sir!

** David Beckham's lawyers have asked flyingfrank.com to point out that Mr Beckham did not stay up the night before the Ecuador game drinking Tequila and that this tale is in fact made up by Flying Frank. It was Bourbon.

Whassuppp

Hello people,
alot to tell you about, as it goes, the main thing being that I AM BACK RACING! Since my last race, it has gone like this:
Saturday 10th June - I came 5th. Was well away but hit a hurdle
Saturday 17th June - Second!
All going well so far, but I have to yap off. The Ghana team have asked me to go to Germany to give them some last minute advice ahead of the Brazil game. It's Ghana be a good one.
Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S - racing again on Saturday!

King Edwards

After what seems like months chilling out in the kennels with my bitches, its great to announce to you, my loyal followers, that I'm back in the traps tomorrow night in the 19.57pm "Cancer Research UK thanks to Sue and Mick Puzey Stakes" which will see me, the Flyer make his hurdling debut....yes, that's right, you heard me correct - hurdles!

When Jonno first told me he wanted me to try out as a hurdler, I told him where to jump, but after some reflection over a bag of Bonios and a chilled bowl of Volvic , I started to come round to the idea. Jonno reckons that jumping will help me focus on the job in hand and not get distracted by all the bitches on the track...yeah right, as if. I called on my my good pal Jonathan Edwards or Eds as I refer to him, the World Champion triple jumper for a spot of advice. I've known Eds for years and he has always been a good mate - we did have a light falling out over Denise Lewis a while back and I told him where to hop, skip and jump, but its probably best not to dwell on the past. He sent me this message, which to be honest, I thought was a little over the top...as my old pal Sir Al says, we don't like a***lickers and we don't like schmoozer's. Its not a bloody game show Jonathan so stop trying to suck up just because I've got my own column in the Walthamstow Guardian and I'm a hit with the ladies.

Anyhow, I'm going to keep this blog short and sweet as the World Cup Opening Ceremony is about to start and Jonno has laid on a special screening at the kennels. My money is on Ivory Coast. Talking of money, I'm in trap one tomorrow and raring to go....you wont go far wrong with a few quid on The Flyer.

as they say in Germany, adios amigos...will let you know how I get on...

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Friend or Defoe

Hey guys,

First, the big news of the week - Bruce Forsyth has got a CBE, which I am absolutely delighted about. Nice to C-BE you, to C-BE you nice. He's an old buddy of mine and I love playing poker with him (he always play his cards right) and I even beat him last week. Didn't I do well? He's a real close friend (and Bone Fide Friend of Flying Frank) and he often asks me to Come Dancing with him. Loving the Brucemesiter.

Secondly, even bigger news for all fans of the Mutt with the Strut. I am likely going to be racing again very soon. Yes, I know I haven't been around much lately, but I have had a couple of trials and I am planning to be bounding out of the traps in the next week or two. Taking it slowly, but The Stow here I come. Don't want to jinx it, so I will just say that at the moment I am on standby.
Apt really, because a good mate of mine is on the standby for the World cup squad and as we are in the same boat, he has sent a message in for me this week, that you can see here.
Spurs and England striker Jermain Dogfoe, as you can see in the pic, has always been a good mate of mine. He's the Jermain man as far as I'm concerned and I really hope that he gets to make it to Jermany in the summer. I mean, it Jermains to be seen whether he will, but I feel he has earned his spurs and that he deserves his chance. We grew up together, see, and I know for a fact that he would walk over hot goals to be in Sven's squad. We have always been close buddies and like me, he's a fighter. Come on my son.

Talking of which, I feel it in my water that I should probably write a world cup special fairly soon. Personally I can't wait for the tournament - I've got a few mates who are going out there (as sniffers) and they say that if you are going to bite a drunk, sunburnt, violent, british football hooligan, there is simply no bigger stage in which to do it on.

Before I'm off, just my usual plea to keep sending me emails to woof@flyingfrank.com. Also, can everyone keep an eye out for potential celebrity friends - you know the drill (and anyone who gets the holy grail - Flying Frank Lampard - will get executive membership to my fan club!)

Right, got to go - Sa Re Ga Ma Pa is about to start on Zee TV (it's kind of like an Indian Pop Idol) and I don't like to miss it!

Speak soon,

Peace. Love . Woof.


Flying Frank

The final hurdle

Hello mateys and mateyesses,

It's been a bit boring round flyingfrank.com of late, but after weeks, months even, of inactivity in my racing career, I have an announcement to make about my future. I'll be honest, I had some pretty hot offers from the national press (and The Kennel Gazette) to sell my story but I just couldn't do it to you, the loyal readers of my blog. I wanted you to hear it here first. One such fan is my good friend Tim Campbell - or the Timbernator as I call him. He was the guy that won the first series of The Apprentice and he has been a mate for a while now. He knows how hard I have found the last two months and so he sent this message into me. As you can see he's a bit naughty on it, writing "Give me a call". I know all is fair in love and war but if he wants me to come and work for him and his company - www.integra-skincare.com - he really ought to approach my trainer Jono first. A bit out of order but there you go. He's obviously seen my dog-matic approach and wants a piece of the Flyer (and who can blame him). Forgetting all that though, he is a top man is old 'nice but Tim'.

He keeps himself nice and trim, does Tim. Especially when he's at the gym. Which he often visits on a whim. It keeps him nice and slim. Mind you, so does a swim. Not to mention singing a hymn.

Yeah, a real top bloke and his wishes have really kept me focused on what I want to do next.

Which is hurdle.

That's right, hurdle.

Colin Jackson. Sally Gunnell. Red Rum. There's going to be another name added to this hurdling hall of fame shortly - The Flyer. As you will recall, I got into a spot of bother with another dog the last time I was at the track. In those situations, you get a first warning. Another warning and you're out of the game forever and on a one way ticket to South-east-asia-restaurant-ville.

Although I didn't get my warning, Jono decided to take me out of the flat game and train me up for hurdles. For the last two months, my life has been tough to say the least, or as they say in Cantonese, (excuse my French, but that's just how I feel). It's been a constant regime of training, training and more training. To be fair, in the evenings I have been allowed to relax and watch the telly ( my current fave is Chup Chupa Kay at 7.30, every night on the Pakistani Channel - A candid camera show catching people at their best and worst. Catch it if you can) but other than that it has been full speed over the hurdles.

I'm not going to give too much away at the moment, as I know that some of my rivals are monitoring this. Safe to say that I will be racing soon, but I heard Jono tell my owners - those lovely chaps who smell a bit at Frank PR - that I am a dog "with alot of courage" and that I am "jumping nice and low". All encouraging. By the way, you can check them out at www.frankpr.it

Not much else to say, except I have recently got some celebrity messages that are literally going to rock your world. Recent captures include TWO Olympic Gold medallists, two England football legends and a two Knights of the Realm. Oh, and Suzi Perry (no, me neither). The one I still want though is the ultimate, the real Flying Frank - Mr Frank Lampard himself. Getting him would be like winning the Champions League, the World Cup and the Greyhound derby all rolled into one. If any of you see him on you're travels, email me at woof@flyingfrank.com

Bye for now,

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Model behaviour

Greetings fella and fellaresses:

I was sitting at home one night this week, having just finished my dinner (a fusion of East meets West if you must know - Prawn Bhuna, egg and chips), supping on pint of the old favourite (water) and it occurred to me that this Blogger (me) had been depriving my Blogees (you) a bit of female flesh lately.

Needless to say, when I realised my error, I got straight on the blower to my good friend, page 3 girl and Reality-TV staple, Leilani, who was only too willing to send in the message that you see before you. In this game you see, it's all about how you treat people, and the Leilaniator knows that The Flyer is a good lad. We go way back see, to before she was a famous model, like. We met one night down in Charlie Chan's - www.chans.cc - where I took her to the VIP area - we wined, we dined...she was ever so kind. And let's just say, we've been tight ever since. Whenever she's in town, we always hook up for a jar or two and I was stoked that she sent in this message...

Still no news on my racing career at the moment. To be honest, I've become a bit disillusioned with this game and I am thinking of getting out. Not too sure what I might do next...I was thinking maybe I would try writing - I suppose it's a novel way of making a living. I was also thinking of going and working for Kwik-Fit, but I've heard it's really tyre-ing. I dunno, I've always had a talent for window-making, although I understand it's a bit of a pane. Who knows - perhaps I'll just go and be a trampoline salesman (although I've heard even that's a bit up and down). I'm a bit of a drifter in some senses, so we will see where the wind takes me. Failing that, I may just stay racing. Tell you what - I'd really appreciate knowing what my army of fans think I should do. All offers and suggestions welcome to the usual email - woof@flyingfrank.com
Should be some racing news - one way or t'other - soon, so keep you're eyes peeled.

Later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Long time no speak

I know what you're thinking.

I haven't written a posting in while and you assume that I've gone all Billy big time, that my celebrity life has caught up with me, that since I won my last couple of races I've turned into some kind of poncey, fast-living, arrogant so-and-so. Obviously that's all true, but it's not the reason I haven't written for a while.

It's like this: You have to pay your way down here at Claverhambury kennels. Jono Coleman, the Sven Goran of dog racing (but, and my lawyers have asked me to stress this, without the philandering), doesn't give anyone a free lunch and I am no different. I haven't raced for nearly two months see (and no - I don't want to talk about it), and as a result I am not bringing in any dough and therefore not keeping Mrs JC in the manner to which she has become accustomed. If I don't start racing again soon, she will have to start buying her threads in New Look. And nobody wants that. So if I don't bring anything to the table, my privileges get cut - the first one being T'Internet.

There was a time when I was the dogs danglies, the sublime canine, the pooch you would smooch. I mean, everyone wanted to do it in this doggies style. Now, you don't race for a bit and all the things you hold dear - like a little surf on the internet for pictures of Hollyoaks 'actresses' - are taken away from you. Apparently the other dogs would get jealous to see me on the computer (we have a communal one here at the kennels) and so JC suggested that I don't write on my blog for a while.

Obviously, I couldn't be putting up with it for too long and so I had to take the law into my own hands. This street dog had to employ a couple of lessons he picked up from the University of Life (where I got an upper second by the way). That's right, I went and got my own yaptop.

So not to worry people, I'm back, raring to go, should be racing again soon and I've also got a stack of new celebrity messages in the bag, including two footballing legends, a number 1 recording artist, an acting legend and a cricket bad boy. Oh yeah, and Dr Fox.

So keep your eyes peeled, I am going to try and be back on in a couple of days with the latest offerings for my faithful.

It's good to be back.

Peace, Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

There's nothing fishy going on

Ahoy there me hearties!

It's the Original Frankster back here, the nutty mutty, the dog with the blog.

Like I said last time, my current plans are shrouded in secrecy. You will note that I haven't been running lately. Very observant of you. I can't really tell you why, but shortly I will have an announcement to make that will make it all clear. Greyhound Times, Walthamstow Gazette - take note, it's gonna be a biggie. When I can tell you, I promise you I will. Just not now.

Despite me being in this ever-lasting limbo, it's still heartening to know that my firends in high places have not forgetten me. You will see the message above from none other than Captain Birds Eye. He's an old Navy buddy of mine (I just adore Navy - it's so much more my colour than a sky blue or a nasty burgundy) and let me tell you, when we have gone out together, we certainly have caught a Birds Eye or two. He's been in town this week with his Fish Finger Mini's but he still had time to confirm - as it says in his message - that I am still the apple of his Birds Eye.

We go way back, me and the Captainmeister. I first met him in church - he was praying to cod - and I started to feel unwell. I had a thumping Haddock and the Cap'n took me back to his plaice where we watched a film about fish together - a prawn movie, he called it. Anyway, our bond grew from there and we now try to sea each other as often as we can. We have similar tastes in popular music. He likes listening to Billy Ocean and The Waterboys, as do I , so we have a lot to talk about.

I heard he was in town earlier this week so I just jumped in a taxi crab and went over to see him. We had a whale of a time and I can't wait to catch up with him next time.

Anyhoo, that's yer lot for now. More celeb going's-on soon - and I promise I'll let you know my big news as soon as possible.

Keep the messages coming to woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace.Love. Woof.


Flying Frank