Friend or Defoe

Hey guys,

First, the big news of the week - Bruce Forsyth has got a CBE, which I am absolutely delighted about. Nice to C-BE you, to C-BE you nice. He's an old buddy of mine and I love playing poker with him (he always play his cards right) and I even beat him last week. Didn't I do well? He's a real close friend (and Bone Fide Friend of Flying Frank) and he often asks me to Come Dancing with him. Loving the Brucemesiter.

Secondly, even bigger news for all fans of the Mutt with the Strut. I am likely going to be racing again very soon. Yes, I know I haven't been around much lately, but I have had a couple of trials and I am planning to be bounding out of the traps in the next week or two. Taking it slowly, but The Stow here I come. Don't want to jinx it, so I will just say that at the moment I am on standby.
Apt really, because a good mate of mine is on the standby for the World cup squad and as we are in the same boat, he has sent a message in for me this week, that you can see here.
Spurs and England striker Jermain Dogfoe, as you can see in the pic, has always been a good mate of mine. He's the Jermain man as far as I'm concerned and I really hope that he gets to make it to Jermany in the summer. I mean, it Jermains to be seen whether he will, but I feel he has earned his spurs and that he deserves his chance. We grew up together, see, and I know for a fact that he would walk over hot goals to be in Sven's squad. We have always been close buddies and like me, he's a fighter. Come on my son.

Talking of which, I feel it in my water that I should probably write a world cup special fairly soon. Personally I can't wait for the tournament - I've got a few mates who are going out there (as sniffers) and they say that if you are going to bite a drunk, sunburnt, violent, british football hooligan, there is simply no bigger stage in which to do it on.

Before I'm off, just my usual plea to keep sending me emails to woof@flyingfrank.com. Also, can everyone keep an eye out for potential celebrity friends - you know the drill (and anyone who gets the holy grail - Flying Frank Lampard - will get executive membership to my fan club!)

Right, got to go - Sa Re Ga Ma Pa is about to start on Zee TV (it's kind of like an Indian Pop Idol) and I don't like to miss it!

Speak soon,

Peace. Love . Woof.


Flying Frank

The final hurdle

Hello mateys and mateyesses,

It's been a bit boring round flyingfrank.com of late, but after weeks, months even, of inactivity in my racing career, I have an announcement to make about my future. I'll be honest, I had some pretty hot offers from the national press (and The Kennel Gazette) to sell my story but I just couldn't do it to you, the loyal readers of my blog. I wanted you to hear it here first. One such fan is my good friend Tim Campbell - or the Timbernator as I call him. He was the guy that won the first series of The Apprentice and he has been a mate for a while now. He knows how hard I have found the last two months and so he sent this message into me. As you can see he's a bit naughty on it, writing "Give me a call". I know all is fair in love and war but if he wants me to come and work for him and his company - www.integra-skincare.com - he really ought to approach my trainer Jono first. A bit out of order but there you go. He's obviously seen my dog-matic approach and wants a piece of the Flyer (and who can blame him). Forgetting all that though, he is a top man is old 'nice but Tim'.

He keeps himself nice and trim, does Tim. Especially when he's at the gym. Which he often visits on a whim. It keeps him nice and slim. Mind you, so does a swim. Not to mention singing a hymn.

Yeah, a real top bloke and his wishes have really kept me focused on what I want to do next.

Which is hurdle.

That's right, hurdle.

Colin Jackson. Sally Gunnell. Red Rum. There's going to be another name added to this hurdling hall of fame shortly - The Flyer. As you will recall, I got into a spot of bother with another dog the last time I was at the track. In those situations, you get a first warning. Another warning and you're out of the game forever and on a one way ticket to South-east-asia-restaurant-ville.

Although I didn't get my warning, Jono decided to take me out of the flat game and train me up for hurdles. For the last two months, my life has been tough to say the least, or as they say in Cantonese, (excuse my French, but that's just how I feel). It's been a constant regime of training, training and more training. To be fair, in the evenings I have been allowed to relax and watch the telly ( my current fave is Chup Chupa Kay at 7.30, every night on the Pakistani Channel - A candid camera show catching people at their best and worst. Catch it if you can) but other than that it has been full speed over the hurdles.

I'm not going to give too much away at the moment, as I know that some of my rivals are monitoring this. Safe to say that I will be racing soon, but I heard Jono tell my owners - those lovely chaps who smell a bit at Frank PR - that I am a dog "with alot of courage" and that I am "jumping nice and low". All encouraging. By the way, you can check them out at www.frankpr.it

Not much else to say, except I have recently got some celebrity messages that are literally going to rock your world. Recent captures include TWO Olympic Gold medallists, two England football legends and a two Knights of the Realm. Oh, and Suzi Perry (no, me neither). The one I still want though is the ultimate, the real Flying Frank - Mr Frank Lampard himself. Getting him would be like winning the Champions League, the World Cup and the Greyhound derby all rolled into one. If any of you see him on you're travels, email me at woof@flyingfrank.com

Bye for now,

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Model behaviour

Greetings fella and fellaresses:

I was sitting at home one night this week, having just finished my dinner (a fusion of East meets West if you must know - Prawn Bhuna, egg and chips), supping on pint of the old favourite (water) and it occurred to me that this Blogger (me) had been depriving my Blogees (you) a bit of female flesh lately.

Needless to say, when I realised my error, I got straight on the blower to my good friend, page 3 girl and Reality-TV staple, Leilani, who was only too willing to send in the message that you see before you. In this game you see, it's all about how you treat people, and the Leilaniator knows that The Flyer is a good lad. We go way back see, to before she was a famous model, like. We met one night down in Charlie Chan's - www.chans.cc - where I took her to the VIP area - we wined, we dined...she was ever so kind. And let's just say, we've been tight ever since. Whenever she's in town, we always hook up for a jar or two and I was stoked that she sent in this message...

Still no news on my racing career at the moment. To be honest, I've become a bit disillusioned with this game and I am thinking of getting out. Not too sure what I might do next...I was thinking maybe I would try writing - I suppose it's a novel way of making a living. I was also thinking of going and working for Kwik-Fit, but I've heard it's really tyre-ing. I dunno, I've always had a talent for window-making, although I understand it's a bit of a pane. Who knows - perhaps I'll just go and be a trampoline salesman (although I've heard even that's a bit up and down). I'm a bit of a drifter in some senses, so we will see where the wind takes me. Failing that, I may just stay racing. Tell you what - I'd really appreciate knowing what my army of fans think I should do. All offers and suggestions welcome to the usual email - woof@flyingfrank.com
Should be some racing news - one way or t'other - soon, so keep you're eyes peeled.

Later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Long time no speak

I know what you're thinking.

I haven't written a posting in while and you assume that I've gone all Billy big time, that my celebrity life has caught up with me, that since I won my last couple of races I've turned into some kind of poncey, fast-living, arrogant so-and-so. Obviously that's all true, but it's not the reason I haven't written for a while.

It's like this: You have to pay your way down here at Claverhambury kennels. Jono Coleman, the Sven Goran of dog racing (but, and my lawyers have asked me to stress this, without the philandering), doesn't give anyone a free lunch and I am no different. I haven't raced for nearly two months see (and no - I don't want to talk about it), and as a result I am not bringing in any dough and therefore not keeping Mrs JC in the manner to which she has become accustomed. If I don't start racing again soon, she will have to start buying her threads in New Look. And nobody wants that. So if I don't bring anything to the table, my privileges get cut - the first one being T'Internet.

There was a time when I was the dogs danglies, the sublime canine, the pooch you would smooch. I mean, everyone wanted to do it in this doggies style. Now, you don't race for a bit and all the things you hold dear - like a little surf on the internet for pictures of Hollyoaks 'actresses' - are taken away from you. Apparently the other dogs would get jealous to see me on the computer (we have a communal one here at the kennels) and so JC suggested that I don't write on my blog for a while.

Obviously, I couldn't be putting up with it for too long and so I had to take the law into my own hands. This street dog had to employ a couple of lessons he picked up from the University of Life (where I got an upper second by the way). That's right, I went and got my own yaptop.

So not to worry people, I'm back, raring to go, should be racing again soon and I've also got a stack of new celebrity messages in the bag, including two footballing legends, a number 1 recording artist, an acting legend and a cricket bad boy. Oh yeah, and Dr Fox.

So keep your eyes peeled, I am going to try and be back on in a couple of days with the latest offerings for my faithful.

It's good to be back.

Peace, Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

There's nothing fishy going on

Ahoy there me hearties!

It's the Original Frankster back here, the nutty mutty, the dog with the blog.

Like I said last time, my current plans are shrouded in secrecy. You will note that I haven't been running lately. Very observant of you. I can't really tell you why, but shortly I will have an announcement to make that will make it all clear. Greyhound Times, Walthamstow Gazette - take note, it's gonna be a biggie. When I can tell you, I promise you I will. Just not now.

Despite me being in this ever-lasting limbo, it's still heartening to know that my firends in high places have not forgetten me. You will see the message above from none other than Captain Birds Eye. He's an old Navy buddy of mine (I just adore Navy - it's so much more my colour than a sky blue or a nasty burgundy) and let me tell you, when we have gone out together, we certainly have caught a Birds Eye or two. He's been in town this week with his Fish Finger Mini's but he still had time to confirm - as it says in his message - that I am still the apple of his Birds Eye.

We go way back, me and the Captainmeister. I first met him in church - he was praying to cod - and I started to feel unwell. I had a thumping Haddock and the Cap'n took me back to his plaice where we watched a film about fish together - a prawn movie, he called it. Anyway, our bond grew from there and we now try to sea each other as often as we can. We have similar tastes in popular music. He likes listening to Billy Ocean and The Waterboys, as do I , so we have a lot to talk about.

I heard he was in town earlier this week so I just jumped in a taxi crab and went over to see him. We had a whale of a time and I can't wait to catch up with him next time.

Anyhoo, that's yer lot for now. More celeb going's-on soon - and I promise I'll let you know my big news as soon as possible.

Keep the messages coming to woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace.Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Fighting my corner

OK, I'll level with you.

The reason why I haven't been on my blog for the last few days is that I have been in a bit of bother with the 'auforities'. Get this: Apparently I am a bit troublesome and as a result, Jono (my trainer) has taken me away from the track for a while. He says that I get into too many fights and upset the other dogs.

Fights?! Fights?! Can a bloke not gently kick, punch, headbutt and bite his fellow dog anymore? That's not a fight - it's just a gentle reminder of who's the boss. I've had enough of these flippin' sandal-wearing, cappucino-drinking, cardigan-clad liberals that you see on every corner these days, telling you that you can't get your knuckle duster/Uzi out anymore because it's not politically correct. Pansies, the lot of them.

Ahem.

Anyway, all I've done is given out a few gentle slaps and I am being threatened with being 'taken away from racing'. We've come to a compromise and I am just taking a few weeks off before I return to the track. Please don't misunderstand me though - I'm a lover, not a fighter. True, I did some boxing in my younger days (I was a Flyer-weight) when I used to idolise my favourite boxer, Muha-mutt Ali. Ah, them were the days - I couldn't wait for the bell to sound at the start of Grrrrrround 1 where I'd go out and give my all. Anyway, that was then but this is now and I don't want anyone misunderstanding me.

At least I can count on the wishes of my good friend Phil 'the Tuffmeister' Tufnell at times like these (see above). He's a good lad, is Tuffers. He's always been there for me no matter how stupid or Silly (mid-on) I have been. He is a wicket guy and will always push the boundaries for me. His wishes really keep me going.

OK, that's all for now. There's alot of stuff going down round here, which I can't tell you about yet. The only thing that keeps me going (along with the ladies) are the wishes from My Triple F's - Friends of Flying Frank. Keep 'em coming to woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Three's the magic number

Phewwweeee. You may have noticed that I haven't written a blog posting for about 10 days or so now....well that's only because I've flippin well been racing non-stop, isn't it? I've been as hectic as a red light bulb salesman in Amsterdam, I tell you.

So before I explain the photo above, here are my results in the last ten days:

27th Jan (Walthamstow) - I know I have told you about this one, but I came in first

6th Feb (The 'Stow again) - First

8th Feb (Harlow) - You've guessed it Chicas, I came in first yet again

As you would imagine, I am absolutely overjoyed at this somewhat purple patch in my career. You will see above that there is a photo message from my good friend and former Olympic gold medalist, Linford Christie (or The 'Ford as I call him). I am not ashamed to admit that The 'Ford has been behind my recent revival and it is down to him that I am turning it round.

He's a good lad, Linford, and he calls me his little Chumpion. He encourages me not to become Dogged down in all the hullabaloo that surrounds my races but just focus...and when the traps open, run like the clappers! He actually called me last night and told me that I am reminding him of his form in 1992-3, when he scooped both Olympic and World Golds. That may be so Linford, but you didn't get the pick of the bunch at Charlie Chan's Discotheque, did you mate? No Sally Gunnell for me!

Ahem, back to work now, methinks.

Keep well people - I reckon I will be racing this week, so will keep you posted.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Run off my feet!

Hello people,

As you will know, I haven't been able to get on T'internet lately to write my world-famous blog.

Reason being see, that in the last few days I have raced not once, not twice but THREE TIMES! It's a bit like being that Daniel Beckenham fella at Real Muttrid - the more famous you get, the more demand for personal appearances there are, the less time you have for your loved ones. Much like the ladies in the picture. Can't quite recall who the one on the right is, but the laydee on the left is that Keeley. She's the one that the Chelsea player Joe Cole got a bit of bother over and she is also really successful in her own right - she has her own column on page 3 of The Sun, no less. She's a great pal and if I could just get a BLEEDIN' MINUTE on my own, I could give the Keelymeister the attention she so rightly deserves.

In any case, here is how I have been doing:

Saturday 21st Jan - ran in the first race at The Stow. My owners were there, big expectations, and I blew it. Fifth. Very embarrassed and ashamed. Still got tanked up at Charlie Chans', mind.

Wednesday 25th Jan - Jono stuck me in an evening race at Harlow. Harlow can you go, you might ask? I mean - Harlow for heavens' sake! Because I was out there, my owners never came to see me, and for that reason I can't give you a full description of what happened (ahem). But I came 4th.

Friday 27th Jan - Because of what is now known as 'The Harlow debacle', Jono stuck me in the afternoon races. Well I stuffed it up him, didn't I. Only powered home to a now famous victory - the fifth in the Flying Frank story. get in!

So now, after three races in six days, we look to the future. No race scheduled as yet, but will keep you posted. In the meantime, I shall keep myself busy with old Keeley and, er, wotsername...


Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Race alert

...Just wanted to let all my fans know that the details of my next race have been announced:

It's tomorrow (Sat 20th Jan) - Yikes!

The usual venue - Walthamstow Dog track (aka The Stow)

7.30pm, first race of the night, trap 2.

There's also a trophy up for grabs so I am hopeful I can scoop the booty.

Afterwards I am going to the cinema. Feel free to join me - I am going with some of my crew down the Thurrock Odeon after to see Cheaper by the Dozen 2 - this time you'd better watch out! I just loved the first one and thought it was a true masterpiece of our time. It worked on so many levels and I realised it's true - it is cheaper by the dozen.

Will let you know how it goes - wish me luck by emailing me! woof@flyingfrank.com

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

The hostess with the Makostness

I'll be honest with you, I very nearly wasn't here this week.

After weeks of talks, offers, counter-offers and cloak-and-dagger meetings, I decided in the end to turn down the opportunity to appear on Big Brother.

Whilst I'm a big fan of the Channel Paw programme, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. They would have me up to all sorts on there, probably getting me on a chair trying to impersonate a human being and all that. It would have been so humiliating and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I know I like a bit of fun with the ladies and all, but at the end of the day racing is my business.

Besides, I have to avoid Tracy Bingham for the foreseeable future (if she asks, just say I have moved to the Congo and should be back sometime in 2010). The package they were offering me was fantastic as well - one years supply of Pedigree chum, a brand new piece of rope to chew on (mmmm, rope) and a pooper scooper. They also offered expenses too. They were prepared to take me down there in the back of a brand-new Volvo estate and stick me in a proper wooden kennel (from B&Q) before I went in the house. Despite all that, I've decided to concentrate on work.

Nevertheless, I thought I would put up a picture of my good mate Makosi Musambasi, star of the last series of Big Brother. She's a good lass, The Makos-meister, and we originally met when I was making a personal appearance in Zimbabwe many years ago - I'm too much of a gent to tell you what happened, but suffice to say I didn't let my country down. I have given her a bit of advice on how to handle fame and as soon as she becomes famous, I'm sure she'll implement it.

As I was saying, I'm concentrating on my racing at the moment and the situation is simple - I'm battered, bruised but making progress. I raced at The Stow on Saturday night and I was even the favourite to win. Alas, the world of greyhound racing is quite bitchy at times and there are several people who want to ruin things for me, hence me getting bumped twice in the same race. Nevermind, I won't let them get me down. Onwards, upwards and onto the next race. Will let you know when it is.

Got to go now - I have a conference call about the possibility of appearing on Living TV's 'I'm famous and frightened'.

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank


P.S. - Thanks to my homegirl Diana. I lurrved the pictures of those ladies. Keep them coming people to woof@flyingfrank.com

P.P.S - I have heard about a certain dog called Jus for Xmas who is trying to muscle in on my territory. Yawn. Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby.

Get back

Get back.

Get back to where you once belong, as the Beatles sang.

And I am - this Saturday infact where I am racing again at The Stow.

If any of the Flying Frank Army want to come down and see me, I am running in the 21.21pm race, over 475 metres. Titled the 'Enter our nomination cup...your chance to win £1000' stakes, I hope to be bounding out of trap 2 (boo! as you know, the Original Frankster prefers trap one - the ambience in there is just soooo more appealing) and with a bit of luck, onto a famous victory. Then onto Charlie Chan's if I win, ladies!

Hope to see you all on Saturday night - drop me a line at woof@flyingfrank.com to wish me luck.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S. - Big shout going out to one of my newest homegirls and brand spanking new Triple F (Friend of Flying Frank), Diana Williams. I hear you have just discovered The Flyer - keep on spreading the word down at the golf club, girlfriend.

Bigger, better & badder for ' 06

Hello to all my lovely, wonderful, fans. I hope you had a superb holiday season and are geared up for a great 2006 (or two thousand and chicks as I am calling it).

For me, the year has got off to a tremendous start. First of all, I got this brilliant message from my youngest fan, a little bonny, bouncing cherub called Leni Zetter. Leni (she lets me address her by her full name, Leonard) was only six weeks old when this picture was taken, has really helped me with my rehabilitation. With her simple gesture, she has taken me back to my inner child. Subliminally, she has sent me the encouragement I have been looking for: "Just run like a young child, The Flyer, be free like me and you can do it.'

And Lo and behold, the minute I take on her advice, things start to look up.

As you know, I wasn't a very happy bunny (mmmm, bunny) in the last part of 2005. I was stuck in the BAGS (Bookmakers Afternoon Greyhound Service) and I was on a one-way ticket to Battersea. But Leni's message changed all that. It made me face up to my problems and act more like a dog, not a puppy. So I had it out with Jono, my trainer. I sat him down and tenderly explained to him that if he didn't get me out of the BAGS and back onto the night races at The Stow then I would become particularly 'friendly' with his entire roster of female greyhounds. He knows my reputation - and you can guess the rest.

I did have a couple more BAGS races at the end of the month, but I made my comeback on the big stage as a late replacement on the 30th December. I came second, but knew that I was feeling good. And then, for the first time in over four weeks, I was back racing proper on a Saturday night at The Stow.

Now, I don't like the winter too much, but I wanted to turn on the style a little bit for my fans. Although I came third, I posted the fastest time of my career in the race (29.40 secs) and I was well chuffed. Infact, so high was the standard that the winner, Spoofy Doo, posted the quickest time at Walthamstow this quarter. Anyway, I may not have won....BUT I'M BACK BABY! That's right, I have returned to the evening circuit and the only thing I need to do is make sure I stay there.

Well, there are two things really. I also need to take one of the female dogs at the kennels to a doctor I know who can 'sort out' problems before Jono finds out. Don't tell him, I'll know it was you.

Onwards and upwards then. We are going to start back up soon with even more celeb pictures and crazy postings from my celebrity life, so make sure that, during the forthcoming Year of the Dog, you keep tuned to www.flyingfrank.com !

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Review of the year

...and so to my last posting (probably) of 2005. This has been a true rollercoaster of a year, where my crushing downs have been offset by some tremendous highs.

A good time then, for my top five highlights of the year:

Being bought by Frank PR

These are the guys that really catapulted me onto the world stage. I was just a journeyman young pup in Ireland before they came along. Everyone always has offers from Britain, but this one was tempting for two reasons. First of all they offered me the Deluxe Pedigree Chum (the regular stuff gives me real Delhi Belly) and secondly this - my own blog where I can reach my fans wherever and whenever I like. They are a great company, although one of them smells a bit.

Winning my first race

July 21st 2005. 9.03 pm. Odds of 7/2.

Me. The crowd. The smell of scampi wafting across the stow. I felt good, really good and I showed them as I pipped the other fella across the line (whatever happened to him? Last I heard he was in Korea...) and tasted for the first time, the sweet smell of success. I had another three victories that would follow for the rest of the year, but this was the greatest. No trophy, but immense pride - pride that there and then, I was on top of the world.

Saving the Stow

Most of you know by now that I embarked on a social action campaign earlier this year to save the home of greyhound racing, Walthamstow dog track. Their were rumours that the chaps who own the track were going to sell it, so I decided to do something about it - and launched my own online petition at www.savethestow.com . You can still sign up to it if you haven't yet done so. People always come up to me and ask why I bothered...well let me tell you, dogs can make a difference:

Laika (he, the Russian space dog)....Lassie...Bouncer...David Blunkett's dog (the one on the lead, not the one he....sorry, the lawyers stopped me there)...there is a doggie hall of fame and I want a part of it. The campaign was such a success that I made appearances on BBC News, BBC London radio and in The Star, Express, Sun and other papers.

My celeb pals

I am very fortunate to be able to count several celebrities as close, personal friends. In the past year, I have had traditional messages of support from a range of celebrities. The fella who started this all off - and who is my closest pal of them all - is cricket legend Brian Lara, whos pic I have re-posted at the top. Since him, the likes of Alan Hansen, Lady Isabelle Hervey, Teddy Sheringham, Ms Dynamite and the hottest babe on the planet, Lauren Pope, have all sent in their messages. They really help keep me sane because they understand the pressures that a celebrity lifestyle brings - whether it's the press taking a dogmatic view of me or if my management are being bone idle and don't listen, they tell me how to handle it. There will be more of the same in 2006, hopefully with one from the big one, Flying Frank Lampard.

and finally....my merry band of Triple F's

The terms Triple F's refers to 'Friends of Flying Frank' (by the way, by reading this you are one) and more than anything or anyone, it is them who keep me sane. There have been some troubling times recently, and whilst I am not going to dwell on them now (I'll leave that for 2006, when I hit the bottle and end up checking into a drying out clinic in Arizona - you will be able to read all about it in my autobiography 'One for the road: The diary of a celebrity, alcoholic greyhound') I am appreciative of the way you have always been there for me. Whether it's messages, emails or coming to attend my races I know that I am loved and I love you all back. Just give me your leg and I will show how much via physical expression.

People, whatever your bag is this winter - Christmas, Chanukah, sunshine, drinking - have a great one and let's all have a stormer in 2006.

Here is to rocking the stow next year!

Peace. Love. Woof.


Flying Frank

Baggsy not me

I don't want to talk about this week too much. After my upbeat postings of recent weeks, particularly with the good wishes of Phil and Ms D, I was feeling upbeat. Then I heard the word that every dog dreads:

BAGS

Standing for Bookmaker's Afternoon Greyhound Service, these are the races that are shown in betting shops in the afternoon. Away from the glamour of a night at The Stow, this is the greyhound graveyard, where the duds and degenerates go to race. I don't want to dwell on it, I really don't, but I had a BAGS race this Wednesday and came in third. For reasons only he knows, Jono put me in it.

Rather than being watched by my adoring faithful, in good spirits at my rightful home, I was being watched by a bunch of old men, lubricated by good spirits from the retirement home.

No further comment, but we have a bit of an Sir Alex Ferguson-Roy Keane situation going on here. EXCEPT DO YOU THINK ALEX FERGUSON WOULD PUT KEANE IN THE YOUTH TEAM, DO YOU? DO YOU????Ahem...It's a real bone of contention between us and I don't want to talk anymore.

I am terrier-fied about the future.

Sorry people, no more from me today. Be back soon.

P.S. - A massive, 'Sorry, I wish my heart was in it' big-up for Agent in the Field (AIF) Bloch. Happy 36th, pal.

P.P.S - A big, 'I've had better weeks than this' booyakasha to AIF Lynch. Sayonara sweetheart.

P.P.P.S - A big 'If you were a tree, I wouldn't even cock my leg' small-up to non-AIF Spriggsy.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Little 'mite

Greetings to all you 'Friends of Flying Frank' or, to those of you in the know, my merry band of Triple F's!

Before I start, I would like to take this opportunity to pay homage to one of the greatest ever 'Agents in the Field' (otherwise know as AIF - the people who carry out the good dogs work).

Ever since the start of this blog, there has literally been no celebrity too small for this AIF to bother and he has brought back the goods from all of them, time and time again. As today is the anniversary of his birth, I therefore want to dedicate this posting to the memory of a lovely bloke, who we will just refer to as AIF Kaye..... He's not dead by the way, he just has a really, really poor memory. He forgets everything! Thanks for everything AIF Kaye - and keep up the good work.

I'd also like to talk about one of the most lasting and important friendships I have. You can see her in the picture - it is none other than R&B superstar Ms Dynamite, who sent me a message recently. Now, unlike most of the other lady folk whose company I keep, everything is well above board with her. Although myself and Ms Dynamite have always had a bit of an explosive relationship, we tend not to blow anything up out of proportion. She's always had a short fuse but I just try to make her laugh - hence the name Ms Dynamite tee hee.

Despite constant rumours, our friendship is and has always been platonic - she is just a very near Ms. I have always tried to be there for her and I was one of the first people to congratulate her after she triumphed at an awards ceremony a couple of years ago, when she picked up two awards. I always knew that she had a lovely pair of Brits and this just confirmed it.

So now we have Ms Dynamite signed up to the Flying Frank campaign, where to next? My enemies (and believe it or not, there are a few, aren't there Woodlands Vieri?!) thought that I was full of it, that I wouldn't be able to maintain such an impressive list of celebrities, that eventually I would fall upon my very last Big Brother contestant and be left bankrupt of any decent Triple F's. Wrong, the list is growing - make sure you log onto www.flyingfrank.com soon to see who else I have up my sleeve. In addition to that, please, please keep signing up at www.savethestow.com, as well as sending in your emails, messages, xmas cards and Somerfield vouchers to woof@flyingfrank.com. Yes, Somerfield vouchers.

OK - bye for now.

P.S. - No racing for me this week, but will almost deffo have a pre-xmas one!

P.P.S. - Agent in the Field Spriggsy - calm down fella, we don't want you to get Lamped by anyone.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Taylor made

Hello all you doggie-followers,

Blimey, it's December already. Who would Adam & Eve it - only a few weeks until xmas and it's so exciting down here at the Kennels. I can't wait till the 25th - we are all going to gather round the fire, roast a few chesmutts and see what goodies Santa Paws has got for us this year. Until then though, it's just work, work, work.

I raced again last Saturday - and came fifth again. Obviously I'm not a happy bunny....no, that's a bad choice of words, sorry....but I am not best pleased and I am at a loss as to what to do - just can't seem to get it together at the moment. What with my form, and the fact that they have just opened up a new Thai meat buffet restaurant in Claverhambury, I need to turn it around quick smart.

After the race on Saturday, I really needed to speak to the people that know me best, really needed to hear from those who care about me and I was so pleased to receive a timely message from my good friend and 12-time world darts champion Phil 'The Power' Taylor (in the picture with his daughter). I like to surround myself with winners and that's why I am matey with Phil - he hits the bulleseye with me - always has done - and that's why we are so one-hundred-and-matey.

Here's the John Lowe-down on our friendship:

Jono (my trainer) has always said that I Dart round the track and so one day he got the idea of trying to get a couple of dart boards. Unfortunately, he couldn't a-Fordham, but what he did manage to do was introduce me to The Power. Ever since then, our friendship has taken flight. We do tons of stuff together - go for walks on Dart-moor, take drives through the Dart-ford tunnel and go for relaxing walks in Arrow-on-the-hill. We also share a love of the characters in the Star Wars movies, particularly Dart Vader.

It's because of our closeness that this message means so much to me - Phil knows that I am trying to be the best I can be and he knows that I am searching for answers. His message is simple - "Flying Frank - You have the Power". Of course! How could I have missed it all this time. It's me - I have the power. It's not just me, Phil and Snap though - we all do. All this time I have been searching for answers, blaming trap numbers, blaming Jono, blaming the scampi and chips, blaming the 17 women that I entertain each and every night. All I needed to do was follow his Phil-osophy and I would find the answer. I HAVE THE POWER! He truly is the Wordsworth of our times and I just want to take this opportunity to Bristow my best wishes on him and his family - he's oche by me, is Phil.

I feel like a new man. Watch out, Chicas.

Speak to you lovely people later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

All creatures great and small

Hi People,

I know, I know. I'm a bad doggie. I'm in the Doghouse. I'm the mutt in a rutt.

Apologies to all of you - I clearly haven't been writing all that much of late and to be honest, it's not fair to you, my fans. If I am to continue with my plans for (Greyhound) world domination then I need to treat my loyal army a bit better and keep you better informed as to my goings on.

To tell you the truth, I have been through alot of high and lows of late, as you can see in the picture. A few people have a problem with my friends in the pic, but I don't see what all the fuss is about. So I like to chill with a miniature goblin from time to time - what's the problem, dude? So I shoot a few hoops with a seven foot basketball player of-an-evening - what ya gonna do, sue me? And yes, I enjoy the company of a vertically challenged lady in a gold lame bikini - What can I say? I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I make no apologies if the regime don't like it man. They keep me sane with their tall stories and short anecdotes and I love em.

You may have noticed that I haven't been racing too much of late. Well, I had a run-out last Saturday and it just didn't come together for me. It was embarrassing to tell you the truth. Some joker called Bell Crusader beat me by an absolute country mile, I ended up coming fifth and as a result, Jono thinks that I should take a week or two off.

No races for me this week then - instead I am catching up on some reading. I am currently working my way through the entire works of William Shakespeare - his stuff is actually not bard for an old, dead bloke. I have already finished reading Twelfth Bite and I am working my way through Mutt Ado About Nothing. It really helps me take my mind of the pressures of racing and get away from the hustle and bustle of the kennels. Apart from that I've just been getting on with my campaign at www.savethestow.com and deploying more agents in the field to bring the home the bacon. Mmmm, Bacon. Or if they can't bring home the bacon, then a celebrity picture message will suffice. Mmmmm, celebrity picture messages.

So get cracking people - believe me when I say I have some great celebrity messages, agents in the field anecdotes and features coming up in the next few weeks, so keep your eyes peeled.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank


P.S. - A big, big 'you should be ashamed of yourself' slating goes out to AIF (Agent In the Field) Spriggsy for his shameful performance. Right your wrong, man!

Ray-king it in

As you could probably tell, I was like a dog with two chicks after my victory last Saturday night. I blew the others out of the water - see ya later Tipsy Tarquin, eat mustard! Every victory is a special one, but this was especially sweet as it was from the dreaded trap 2. As you know, I start shaking when they hand me that blue jacket, so I was stoked that I could pull it out of the bag.

Because of that I have decided to take it easy this week, hence no racing and no blog postings. Instead, I decided to go oop north and see a good mate of mine, footballer Ray Parlour (pictured). We always go out on a bender whenever possible (Escapades in Darlington is our favourite haunt) and when we are together, people call us the Poodle Parlour. Seriously, the man is a Ray of sunshine in this little doggies life, although now he is in the North East, we just don't get the Tyne to see each other anymore. He always Rayses my expectations that we might get to have a sherbert together, but it is not a as frequent as when he was at Arsenal. Still, I know he is in good hands up there at Boro as my close pals Bark Viduka and Ugo Ehidog are there to take care of him. I also had some good buddies at the club when Terrier Venables was the manager and going back in time, when they used to play at Ayeresome Bark, which is why I always look for their results.

As you know by now, I am big, big, big mates with some seriously famous footballing folk. However, one of my good buddies in the game, Flying Frank Lampard, has so far been quiet on the old messaging front - come on agents in the field! Let's get hold of the original Frankster and get his message. As for other 'slebs, they have literally been flying in and I will put them all up as often as possible (we only have dial up at the Kennels, see).

I am chilling from racing for a few days - you have probably noticed that I have not competed this week - and while resting, I have been asked alot about various rumours. One such story that has surfaced concerns whether I am going to go out on the road, away from the stow, and emBark on a Nationwide tour. Whilst I can't comment specifically on these stories, what I can say is that I am planning to go out on the road, away from the stow, and emBark on a nationwide tour.

More to follow on all this, but need to go now.

Couple of shout-outs:

- A massive 'big up yourself' to agent in the field Eldridge for your continued support for the www.savethestow.com campaign. You are a gent, sir!

- A huge 'hare is approaching' shout-out to agent in field Jacobs for your recent contribution. You are a lady, madam!

That's all folks - keep up the good work.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Live from the VIP section of Chans

I'm dedicated to this blog I am. Tonight at The Stow was another one of those nights I was born for. In the 2039 race I came out of trap 2 all motivated up (thanks to Mr Mo). Taking 2nd place after the first bend I picked my moment on the back straight and came flying through. All credit to trap 1 for pushing me to the max, but in the end you were no match for 'The Flyer' were you mate?! So another win means another party.

Which takes me to where I am now, in the VIP section at Chans, furiously pawing this message to my fans. Its been a while since my last victory and I thought I'd celebrate in style the only way I know. Quick shower after the race, splash on a bit of the old smelly stuff, on to meet some laydeees and down a bit of the bubbly. I've just taken a break from pulling proceedings to post this message to you and it feels good. Not half as good as some lucky lady here is going to feel later though. She may get a bit disoriented, as for her the fireworks are going to go on all night.

Peace. Love. Woof.
FF

PS. Message to Jono - don't wait up for me tonight. ;-)

Motivation's what you need

Well if you haven't already heard, I came second. It was a tremendous night at The Stow (the place was packed to the rafters - how can they even think about closing it down?? - stop this madness and go to www.savethestow.com now) and there was a big posse from Frank PR there.

On the plus side, I ran fine and I am really in my stride now after my injury. However, I don't know if it was the bright lights, the atmosphere or the fact that Dave the handler wasn't with me (he's only part-time, you see), but it just didn't happen. I went round fine and in the back straight I flew, but ultimately I could only manage second. I hate that flippin' trap 2.

Anyway, you can probably see a pattern emerging - second. I keep coming second! Silver medal positions a-plenty and I'm getting fed up with it. Which is why I have called in reinforcements. I got on the blower and got my big mate Mr Motivator to give me a bit of advice. You can see Mr Mo, as I call him, in the photo above - I have known him for a while, primarily through Lorraine Kelly (Special LK) and their connection at Greyhound Morning TV. He's a great guy but not sure his message is going to hep me, I mean:

Be bad? - I'm not Michael Jackson mate!

Be mean? - ahem, I am Irish, not Scottish

Be wicked? - Whatever Mr Mo. 'Wicked' is so nineties. I'm not wicked, I'm dope.

He also told me I should think about a Marathon. Don't know about that one - I prefer to think about Maltesers. They're the lighter way to enjoy chocolate.

I don't know, he has a good track record and he is a lovely guy, apart from when he wears those colourful leotard get-ups. It's enough to put a man off his Iams. Anyway, I will keep his words close to my heart (as I do those of all my celeb friends) as I have another race coming up - I am flying out of trap 2 (boo! Down with the red coat. Give me red I tell thee! Red!) in the 20.39. It takes place this Saturday night and with a Stow Faithful pushing me on, keep your fingers crossed for me.

As ever, full updates only on www.flyingfrank.com

Later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank