Friday, December 23, 2005

Review of the year

...and so to my last posting (probably) of 2005. This has been a true rollercoaster of a year, where my crushing downs have been offset by some tremendous highs.

A good time then, for my top five highlights of the year:

Being bought by Frank PR

These are the guys that really catapulted me onto the world stage. I was just a journeyman young pup in Ireland before they came along. Everyone always has offers from Britain, but this one was tempting for two reasons. First of all they offered me the Deluxe Pedigree Chum (the regular stuff gives me real Delhi Belly) and secondly this - my own blog where I can reach my fans wherever and whenever I like. They are a great company, although one of them smells a bit.

Winning my first race

July 21st 2005. 9.03 pm. Odds of 7/2.

Me. The crowd. The smell of scampi wafting across the stow. I felt good, really good and I showed them as I pipped the other fella across the line (whatever happened to him? Last I heard he was in Korea...) and tasted for the first time, the sweet smell of success. I had another three victories that would follow for the rest of the year, but this was the greatest. No trophy, but immense pride - pride that there and then, I was on top of the world.

Saving the Stow

Most of you know by now that I embarked on a social action campaign earlier this year to save the home of greyhound racing, Walthamstow dog track. Their were rumours that the chaps who own the track were going to sell it, so I decided to do something about it - and launched my own online petition at . You can still sign up to it if you haven't yet done so. People always come up to me and ask why I bothered...well let me tell you, dogs can make a difference:

Laika (he, the Russian space dog)....Lassie...Bouncer...David Blunkett's dog (the one on the lead, not the one he....sorry, the lawyers stopped me there)...there is a doggie hall of fame and I want a part of it. The campaign was such a success that I made appearances on BBC News, BBC London radio and in The Star, Express, Sun and other papers.

My celeb pals

I am very fortunate to be able to count several celebrities as close, personal friends. In the past year, I have had traditional messages of support from a range of celebrities. The fella who started this all off - and who is my closest pal of them all - is cricket legend Brian Lara, whos pic I have re-posted at the top. Since him, the likes of Alan Hansen, Lady Isabelle Hervey, Teddy Sheringham, Ms Dynamite and the hottest babe on the planet, Lauren Pope, have all sent in their messages. They really help keep me sane because they understand the pressures that a celebrity lifestyle brings - whether it's the press taking a dogmatic view of me or if my management are being bone idle and don't listen, they tell me how to handle it. There will be more of the same in 2006, hopefully with one from the big one, Flying Frank Lampard.

and merry band of Triple F's

The terms Triple F's refers to 'Friends of Flying Frank' (by the way, by reading this you are one) and more than anything or anyone, it is them who keep me sane. There have been some troubling times recently, and whilst I am not going to dwell on them now (I'll leave that for 2006, when I hit the bottle and end up checking into a drying out clinic in Arizona - you will be able to read all about it in my autobiography 'One for the road: The diary of a celebrity, alcoholic greyhound') I am appreciative of the way you have always been there for me. Whether it's messages, emails or coming to attend my races I know that I am loved and I love you all back. Just give me your leg and I will show how much via physical expression.

People, whatever your bag is this winter - Christmas, Chanukah, sunshine, drinking - have a great one and let's all have a stormer in 2006.

Here is to rocking the stow next year!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Friday, December 16, 2005

Baggsy not me

I don't want to talk about this week too much. After my upbeat postings of recent weeks, particularly with the good wishes of Phil and Ms D, I was feeling upbeat. Then I heard the word that every dog dreads:


Standing for Bookmaker's Afternoon Greyhound Service, these are the races that are shown in betting shops in the afternoon. Away from the glamour of a night at The Stow, this is the greyhound graveyard, where the duds and degenerates go to race. I don't want to dwell on it, I really don't, but I had a BAGS race this Wednesday and came in third. For reasons only he knows, Jono put me in it.

Rather than being watched by my adoring faithful, in good spirits at my rightful home, I was being watched by a bunch of old men, lubricated by good spirits from the retirement home.

No further comment, but we have a bit of an Sir Alex Ferguson-Roy Keane situation going on here. EXCEPT DO YOU THINK ALEX FERGUSON WOULD PUT KEANE IN THE YOUTH TEAM, DO YOU? DO YOU????Ahem...It's a real bone of contention between us and I don't want to talk anymore.

I am terrier-fied about the future.

Sorry people, no more from me today. Be back soon.

P.S. - A massive, 'Sorry, I wish my heart was in it' big-up for Agent in the Field (AIF) Bloch. Happy 36th, pal.

P.P.S - A big, 'I've had better weeks than this' booyakasha to AIF Lynch. Sayonara sweetheart.

P.P.P.S - A big 'If you were a tree, I wouldn't even cock my leg' small-up to non-AIF Spriggsy.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Friday, December 09, 2005

Little 'mite

Greetings to all you 'Friends of Flying Frank' or, to those of you in the know, my merry band of Triple F's!

Before I start, I would like to take this opportunity to pay homage to one of the greatest ever 'Agents in the Field' (otherwise know as AIF - the people who carry out the good dogs work).

Ever since the start of this blog, there has literally been no celebrity too small for this AIF to bother and he has brought back the goods from all of them, time and time again. As today is the anniversary of his birth, I therefore want to dedicate this posting to the memory of a lovely bloke, who we will just refer to as AIF Kaye..... He's not dead by the way, he just has a really, really poor memory. He forgets everything! Thanks for everything AIF Kaye - and keep up the good work.

I'd also like to talk about one of the most lasting and important friendships I have. You can see her in the picture - it is none other than R&B superstar Ms Dynamite, who sent me a message recently. Now, unlike most of the other lady folk whose company I keep, everything is well above board with her. Although myself and Ms Dynamite have always had a bit of an explosive relationship, we tend not to blow anything up out of proportion. She's always had a short fuse but I just try to make her laugh - hence the name Ms Dynamite tee hee.

Despite constant rumours, our friendship is and has always been platonic - she is just a very near Ms. I have always tried to be there for her and I was one of the first people to congratulate her after she triumphed at an awards ceremony a couple of years ago, when she picked up two awards. I always knew that she had a lovely pair of Brits and this just confirmed it.

So now we have Ms Dynamite signed up to the Flying Frank campaign, where to next? My enemies (and believe it or not, there are a few, aren't there Woodlands Vieri?!) thought that I was full of it, that I wouldn't be able to maintain such an impressive list of celebrities, that eventually I would fall upon my very last Big Brother contestant and be left bankrupt of any decent Triple F's. Wrong, the list is growing - make sure you log onto soon to see who else I have up my sleeve. In addition to that, please, please keep signing up at, as well as sending in your emails, messages, xmas cards and Somerfield vouchers to Yes, Somerfield vouchers.

OK - bye for now.

P.S. - No racing for me this week, but will almost deffo have a pre-xmas one!

P.P.S. - Agent in the Field Spriggsy - calm down fella, we don't want you to get Lamped by anyone.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Monday, December 05, 2005

Taylor made

Hello all you doggie-followers,

Blimey, it's December already. Who would Adam & Eve it - only a few weeks until xmas and it's so exciting down here at the Kennels. I can't wait till the 25th - we are all going to gather round the fire, roast a few chesmutts and see what goodies Santa Paws has got for us this year. Until then though, it's just work, work, work.

I raced again last Saturday - and came fifth again. Obviously I'm not a happy, that's a bad choice of words, sorry....but I am not best pleased and I am at a loss as to what to do - just can't seem to get it together at the moment. What with my form, and the fact that they have just opened up a new Thai meat buffet restaurant in Claverhambury, I need to turn it around quick smart.

After the race on Saturday, I really needed to speak to the people that know me best, really needed to hear from those who care about me and I was so pleased to receive a timely message from my good friend and 12-time world darts champion Phil 'The Power' Taylor (in the picture with his daughter). I like to surround myself with winners and that's why I am matey with Phil - he hits the bulleseye with me - always has done - and that's why we are so one-hundred-and-matey.

Here's the John Lowe-down on our friendship:

Jono (my trainer) has always said that I Dart round the track and so one day he got the idea of trying to get a couple of dart boards. Unfortunately, he couldn't a-Fordham, but what he did manage to do was introduce me to The Power. Ever since then, our friendship has taken flight. We do tons of stuff together - go for walks on Dart-moor, take drives through the Dart-ford tunnel and go for relaxing walks in Arrow-on-the-hill. We also share a love of the characters in the Star Wars movies, particularly Dart Vader.

It's because of our closeness that this message means so much to me - Phil knows that I am trying to be the best I can be and he knows that I am searching for answers. His message is simple - "Flying Frank - You have the Power". Of course! How could I have missed it all this time. It's me - I have the power. It's not just me, Phil and Snap though - we all do. All this time I have been searching for answers, blaming trap numbers, blaming Jono, blaming the scampi and chips, blaming the 17 women that I entertain each and every night. All I needed to do was follow his Phil-osophy and I would find the answer. I HAVE THE POWER! He truly is the Wordsworth of our times and I just want to take this opportunity to Bristow my best wishes on him and his family - he's oche by me, is Phil.

I feel like a new man. Watch out, Chicas.

Speak to you lovely people later,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank