Thursday, February 23, 2006

Fighting my corner

OK, I'll level with you.

The reason why I haven't been on my blog for the last few days is that I have been in a bit of bother with the 'auforities'. Get this: Apparently I am a bit troublesome and as a result, Jono (my trainer) has taken me away from the track for a while. He says that I get into too many fights and upset the other dogs.

Fights?! Fights?! Can a bloke not gently kick, punch, headbutt and bite his fellow dog anymore? That's not a fight - it's just a gentle reminder of who's the boss. I've had enough of these flippin' sandal-wearing, cappucino-drinking, cardigan-clad liberals that you see on every corner these days, telling you that you can't get your knuckle duster/Uzi out anymore because it's not politically correct. Pansies, the lot of them.


Anyway, all I've done is given out a few gentle slaps and I am being threatened with being 'taken away from racing'. We've come to a compromise and I am just taking a few weeks off before I return to the track. Please don't misunderstand me though - I'm a lover, not a fighter. True, I did some boxing in my younger days (I was a Flyer-weight) when I used to idolise my favourite boxer, Muha-mutt Ali. Ah, them were the days - I couldn't wait for the bell to sound at the start of Grrrrrround 1 where I'd go out and give my all. Anyway, that was then but this is now and I don't want anyone misunderstanding me.

At least I can count on the wishes of my good friend Phil 'the Tuffmeister' Tufnell at times like these (see above). He's a good lad, is Tuffers. He's always been there for me no matter how stupid or Silly (mid-on) I have been. He is a wicket guy and will always push the boundaries for me. His wishes really keep me going.

OK, that's all for now. There's alot of stuff going down round here, which I can't tell you about yet. The only thing that keeps me going (along with the ladies) are the wishes from My Triple F's - Friends of Flying Frank. Keep 'em coming to

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Three's the magic number

Phewwweeee. You may have noticed that I haven't written a blog posting for about 10 days or so now....well that's only because I've flippin well been racing non-stop, isn't it? I've been as hectic as a red light bulb salesman in Amsterdam, I tell you.

So before I explain the photo above, here are my results in the last ten days:

27th Jan (Walthamstow) - I know I have told you about this one, but I came in first

6th Feb (The 'Stow again) - First

8th Feb (Harlow) - You've guessed it Chicas, I came in first yet again

As you would imagine, I am absolutely overjoyed at this somewhat purple patch in my career. You will see above that there is a photo message from my good friend and former Olympic gold medalist, Linford Christie (or The 'Ford as I call him). I am not ashamed to admit that The 'Ford has been behind my recent revival and it is down to him that I am turning it round.

He's a good lad, Linford, and he calls me his little Chumpion. He encourages me not to become Dogged down in all the hullabaloo that surrounds my races but just focus...and when the traps open, run like the clappers! He actually called me last night and told me that I am reminding him of his form in 1992-3, when he scooped both Olympic and World Golds. That may be so Linford, but you didn't get the pick of the bunch at Charlie Chan's Discotheque, did you mate? No Sally Gunnell for me!

Ahem, back to work now, methinks.

Keep well people - I reckon I will be racing this week, so will keep you posted.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Run off my feet!

Hello people,

As you will know, I haven't been able to get on T'internet lately to write my world-famous blog.

Reason being see, that in the last few days I have raced not once, not twice but THREE TIMES! It's a bit like being that Daniel Beckenham fella at Real Muttrid - the more famous you get, the more demand for personal appearances there are, the less time you have for your loved ones. Much like the ladies in the picture. Can't quite recall who the one on the right is, but the laydee on the left is that Keeley. She's the one that the Chelsea player Joe Cole got a bit of bother over and she is also really successful in her own right - she has her own column on page 3 of The Sun, no less. She's a great pal and if I could just get a BLEEDIN' MINUTE on my own, I could give the Keelymeister the attention she so rightly deserves.

In any case, here is how I have been doing:

Saturday 21st Jan - ran in the first race at The Stow. My owners were there, big expectations, and I blew it. Fifth. Very embarrassed and ashamed. Still got tanked up at Charlie Chans', mind.

Wednesday 25th Jan - Jono stuck me in an evening race at Harlow. Harlow can you go, you might ask? I mean - Harlow for heavens' sake! Because I was out there, my owners never came to see me, and for that reason I can't give you a full description of what happened (ahem). But I came 4th.

Friday 27th Jan - Because of what is now known as 'The Harlow debacle', Jono stuck me in the afternoon races. Well I stuffed it up him, didn't I. Only powered home to a now famous victory - the fifth in the Flying Frank story. get in!

So now, after three races in six days, we look to the future. No race scheduled as yet, but will keep you posted. In the meantime, I shall keep myself busy with old Keeley and, er, wotsername...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank