Friday, May 26, 2006

Friend or Defoe

Hey guys,

First, the big news of the week - Bruce Forsyth has got a CBE, which I am absolutely delighted about. Nice to C-BE you, to C-BE you nice. He's an old buddy of mine and I love playing poker with him (he always play his cards right) and I even beat him last week. Didn't I do well? He's a real close friend (and Bone Fide Friend of Flying Frank) and he often asks me to Come Dancing with him. Loving the Brucemesiter.

Secondly, even bigger news for all fans of the Mutt with the Strut. I am likely going to be racing again very soon. Yes, I know I haven't been around much lately, but I have had a couple of trials and I am planning to be bounding out of the traps in the next week or two. Taking it slowly, but The Stow here I come. Don't want to jinx it, so I will just say that at the moment I am on standby.
Apt really, because a good mate of mine is on the standby for the World cup squad and as we are in the same boat, he has sent a message in for me this week, that you can see here.
Spurs and England striker Jermain Dogfoe, as you can see in the pic, has always been a good mate of mine. He's the Jermain man as far as I'm concerned and I really hope that he gets to make it to Jermany in the summer. I mean, it Jermains to be seen whether he will, but I feel he has earned his spurs and that he deserves his chance. We grew up together, see, and I know for a fact that he would walk over hot goals to be in Sven's squad. We have always been close buddies and like me, he's a fighter. Come on my son.

Talking of which, I feel it in my water that I should probably write a world cup special fairly soon. Personally I can't wait for the tournament - I've got a few mates who are going out there (as sniffers) and they say that if you are going to bite a drunk, sunburnt, violent, british football hooligan, there is simply no bigger stage in which to do it on.

Before I'm off, just my usual plea to keep sending me emails to Also, can everyone keep an eye out for potential celebrity friends - you know the drill (and anyone who gets the holy grail - Flying Frank Lampard - will get executive membership to my fan club!)

Right, got to go - Sa Re Ga Ma Pa is about to start on Zee TV (it's kind of like an Indian Pop Idol) and I don't like to miss it!

Speak soon,

Peace. Love . Woof.

Flying Frank

Thursday, May 04, 2006

The final hurdle

Hello mateys and mateyesses,

It's been a bit boring round of late, but after weeks, months even, of inactivity in my racing career, I have an announcement to make about my future. I'll be honest, I had some pretty hot offers from the national press (and The Kennel Gazette) to sell my story but I just couldn't do it to you, the loyal readers of my blog. I wanted you to hear it here first. One such fan is my good friend Tim Campbell - or the Timbernator as I call him. He was the guy that won the first series of The Apprentice and he has been a mate for a while now. He knows how hard I have found the last two months and so he sent this message into me. As you can see he's a bit naughty on it, writing "Give me a call". I know all is fair in love and war but if he wants me to come and work for him and his company - - he really ought to approach my trainer Jono first. A bit out of order but there you go. He's obviously seen my dog-matic approach and wants a piece of the Flyer (and who can blame him). Forgetting all that though, he is a top man is old 'nice but Tim'.

He keeps himself nice and trim, does Tim. Especially when he's at the gym. Which he often visits on a whim. It keeps him nice and slim. Mind you, so does a swim. Not to mention singing a hymn.

Yeah, a real top bloke and his wishes have really kept me focused on what I want to do next.

Which is hurdle.

That's right, hurdle.

Colin Jackson. Sally Gunnell. Red Rum. There's going to be another name added to this hurdling hall of fame shortly - The Flyer. As you will recall, I got into a spot of bother with another dog the last time I was at the track. In those situations, you get a first warning. Another warning and you're out of the game forever and on a one way ticket to South-east-asia-restaurant-ville.

Although I didn't get my warning, Jono decided to take me out of the flat game and train me up for hurdles. For the last two months, my life has been tough to say the least, or as they say in Cantonese, (excuse my French, but that's just how I feel). It's been a constant regime of training, training and more training. To be fair, in the evenings I have been allowed to relax and watch the telly ( my current fave is Chup Chupa Kay at 7.30, every night on the Pakistani Channel - A candid camera show catching people at their best and worst. Catch it if you can) but other than that it has been full speed over the hurdles.

I'm not going to give too much away at the moment, as I know that some of my rivals are monitoring this. Safe to say that I will be racing soon, but I heard Jono tell my owners - those lovely chaps who smell a bit at Frank PR - that I am a dog "with alot of courage" and that I am "jumping nice and low". All encouraging. By the way, you can check them out at

Not much else to say, except I have recently got some celebrity messages that are literally going to rock your world. Recent captures include TWO Olympic Gold medallists, two England football legends and a two Knights of the Realm. Oh, and Suzi Perry (no, me neither). The one I still want though is the ultimate, the real Flying Frank - Mr Frank Lampard himself. Getting him would be like winning the Champions League, the World Cup and the Greyhound derby all rolled into one. If any of you see him on you're travels, email me at

Bye for now,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank