Monday, April 10, 2006

Model behaviour

Greetings fella and fellaresses:

I was sitting at home one night this week, having just finished my dinner (a fusion of East meets West if you must know - Prawn Bhuna, egg and chips), supping on pint of the old favourite (water) and it occurred to me that this Blogger (me) had been depriving my Blogees (you) a bit of female flesh lately.

Needless to say, when I realised my error, I got straight on the blower to my good friend, page 3 girl and Reality-TV staple, Leilani, who was only too willing to send in the message that you see before you. In this game you see, it's all about how you treat people, and the Leilaniator knows that The Flyer is a good lad. We go way back see, to before she was a famous model, like. We met one night down in Charlie Chan's - - where I took her to the VIP area - we wined, we dined...she was ever so kind. And let's just say, we've been tight ever since. Whenever she's in town, we always hook up for a jar or two and I was stoked that she sent in this message...

Still no news on my racing career at the moment. To be honest, I've become a bit disillusioned with this game and I am thinking of getting out. Not too sure what I might do next...I was thinking maybe I would try writing - I suppose it's a novel way of making a living. I was also thinking of going and working for Kwik-Fit, but I've heard it's really tyre-ing. I dunno, I've always had a talent for window-making, although I understand it's a bit of a pane. Who knows - perhaps I'll just go and be a trampoline salesman (although I've heard even that's a bit up and down). I'm a bit of a drifter in some senses, so we will see where the wind takes me. Failing that, I may just stay racing. Tell you what - I'd really appreciate knowing what my army of fans think I should do. All offers and suggestions welcome to the usual email -
Should be some racing news - one way or t'other - soon, so keep you're eyes peeled.


Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Long time no speak

I know what you're thinking.

I haven't written a posting in while and you assume that I've gone all Billy big time, that my celebrity life has caught up with me, that since I won my last couple of races I've turned into some kind of poncey, fast-living, arrogant so-and-so. Obviously that's all true, but it's not the reason I haven't written for a while.

It's like this: You have to pay your way down here at Claverhambury kennels. Jono Coleman, the Sven Goran of dog racing (but, and my lawyers have asked me to stress this, without the philandering), doesn't give anyone a free lunch and I am no different. I haven't raced for nearly two months see (and no - I don't want to talk about it), and as a result I am not bringing in any dough and therefore not keeping Mrs JC in the manner to which she has become accustomed. If I don't start racing again soon, she will have to start buying her threads in New Look. And nobody wants that. So if I don't bring anything to the table, my privileges get cut - the first one being T'Internet.

There was a time when I was the dogs danglies, the sublime canine, the pooch you would smooch. I mean, everyone wanted to do it in this doggies style. Now, you don't race for a bit and all the things you hold dear - like a little surf on the internet for pictures of Hollyoaks 'actresses' - are taken away from you. Apparently the other dogs would get jealous to see me on the computer (we have a communal one here at the kennels) and so JC suggested that I don't write on my blog for a while.

Obviously, I couldn't be putting up with it for too long and so I had to take the law into my own hands. This street dog had to employ a couple of lessons he picked up from the University of Life (where I got an upper second by the way). That's right, I went and got my own yaptop.

So not to worry people, I'm back, raring to go, should be racing again soon and I've also got a stack of new celebrity messages in the bag, including two footballing legends, a number 1 recording artist, an acting legend and a cricket bad boy. Oh yeah, and Dr Fox.

So keep your eyes peeled, I am going to try and be back on in a couple of days with the latest offerings for my faithful.

It's good to be back.

Peace, Love. Woof.

Flying Frank