Thursday, June 29, 2006

Racey fella

Thought you might like to know when my next personal appearance was going to, tonight.

Jono has booked me into an open race tonight at the Stow. Open race meaning that any Tom, Dick or Harry can try and take on the Original Frankster. Bring 'em on, I say. It's the 20.48 'Four Handed Retirement Hurdle' race, which reminds me of a very good night some time back....anyhow, it'll be tough, but I'm looking forward to it.

Bit of a pain actually, because I was already booked to do a meet and great Jumpin' Jaks in Darlington, my old haunt. Shame. That's thirty quid (plus expenses) I'll never see again.
The main competitor I have in the race tonight is some fella called Club Jewel. Club Fool, more like. Let's just say we have a history. He's owned by a syndicate called the Four Tops and I will put it like this: When we are flying round the bends, he better not so much as Reach Out - (cos) I'll be there.

Wish me luck!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Frankie's Beck in Town

Watcha Peeps. It's onwards and upwards round these parts, I tell ya. At the start of the year, it went from bard to verse. Then I ditched the Shakespeare and I took some time out. It's an open secret that a 'rest' was forced on me by Jono, my trainer and I wasn't too happy about it. We nearly had some 'artistic differences', lets say. Or, to not put too fine a point on it, Jono nearly had some enforced 'artistic differences' with certain areas of his anatomy. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have now retrained as a hurdler and last Saturday night was my third race in my new discipline.

As you can see from the brief posting below, I came fifth in my first race and runner-up in my second. Well on Saturday night I was back where I belong. Biggest night of the week at Walthamstow, all the lovely ladies done up to the nines, the smell of scampi and chips wafting through the air....and a lovely present promised to be from my current squire if I do the business.

There is only one option in these situations, one thing I can do. Run like the clappers, in the true spirit of Flying Frank Lampard (my hero) and give it everything.

Guess what.

I only flipping well won. What a night, what a result. I won. I burger-flippin, chip-frying, chilli-sauce pouring, salmonella catchingly-well won. Top of the pile, King of the hill. I'm back.

As if that wasn't enough motivation, when I got home, there was this lovely message (see above) from my good friend Becks. You might not know this, but he actually used to work at The Stow as a glass collector in his youth. Ever since then, we have become bosom buddies. I guess the seeds of our friendship were sown when we went for a really expensive slap-up chicken meal at a fancy restaurant. Always did have a thing for a Posh Bird. After that, we would meet up all the time, especially for me to give him fashion advice (although once I got it Sarong it was embarrassing). Anyway, we still keep in touch now that he is at Real Muttrid (Grrrronaldo is another good mate) and I was touched with his message.

I don't want to go into it too much, but there was a little embarrassing incident that happened at the weekend with me and the big man. You know how he was sick in the middle of the Ecuador game on Sunday? Well...guilty as charged! Let's just say we got together the night before and let our hair down, the next thing you know it was: one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR**!

Hey ho, onwards and upwards got to go and do a celebrity appearance at Bluewater shopping centre with The Chuckle Brothers. Will let you know when my next race is!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S. - A big shout out to my latest homeboy and Triple F (Friend of Flying Frank), Mr Ian H, who now joins the Hall of Fame with the other members. Keep spreading the FF love, Sir!

** David Beckham's lawyers have asked to point out that Mr Beckham did not stay up the night before the Ecuador game drinking Tequila and that this tale is in fact made up by Flying Frank. It was Bourbon.

Friday, June 23, 2006


Hello people,
alot to tell you about, as it goes, the main thing being that I AM BACK RACING! Since my last race, it has gone like this:
Saturday 10th June - I came 5th. Was well away but hit a hurdle
Saturday 17th June - Second!
All going well so far, but I have to yap off. The Ghana team have asked me to go to Germany to give them some last minute advice ahead of the Brazil game. It's Ghana be a good one.
Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S - racing again on Saturday!

Friday, June 09, 2006

King Edwards

After what seems like months chilling out in the kennels with my bitches, its great to announce to you, my loyal followers, that I'm back in the traps tomorrow night in the 19.57pm "Cancer Research UK thanks to Sue and Mick Puzey Stakes" which will see me, the Flyer make his hurdling debut....yes, that's right, you heard me correct - hurdles!

When Jonno first told me he wanted me to try out as a hurdler, I told him where to jump, but after some reflection over a bag of Bonios and a chilled bowl of Volvic , I started to come round to the idea. Jonno reckons that jumping will help me focus on the job in hand and not get distracted by all the bitches on the track...yeah right, as if. I called on my my good pal Jonathan Edwards or Eds as I refer to him, the World Champion triple jumper for a spot of advice. I've known Eds for years and he has always been a good mate - we did have a light falling out over Denise Lewis a while back and I told him where to hop, skip and jump, but its probably best not to dwell on the past. He sent me this message, which to be honest, I thought was a little over the my old pal Sir Al says, we don't like a***lickers and we don't like schmoozer's. Its not a bloody game show Jonathan so stop trying to suck up just because I've got my own column in the Walthamstow Guardian and I'm a hit with the ladies.

Anyhow, I'm going to keep this blog short and sweet as the World Cup Opening Ceremony is about to start and Jonno has laid on a special screening at the kennels. My money is on Ivory Coast. Talking of money, I'm in trap one tomorrow and raring to wont go far wrong with a few quid on The Flyer.

as they say in Germany, adios amigos...will let you know how I get on...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank