Saturday, April 01, 2006

Long time no speak

I know what you're thinking.

I haven't written a posting in while and you assume that I've gone all Billy big time, that my celebrity life has caught up with me, that since I won my last couple of races I've turned into some kind of poncey, fast-living, arrogant so-and-so. Obviously that's all true, but it's not the reason I haven't written for a while.

It's like this: You have to pay your way down here at Claverhambury kennels. Jono Coleman, the Sven Goran of dog racing (but, and my lawyers have asked me to stress this, without the philandering), doesn't give anyone a free lunch and I am no different. I haven't raced for nearly two months see (and no - I don't want to talk about it), and as a result I am not bringing in any dough and therefore not keeping Mrs JC in the manner to which she has become accustomed. If I don't start racing again soon, she will have to start buying her threads in New Look. And nobody wants that. So if I don't bring anything to the table, my privileges get cut - the first one being T'Internet.

There was a time when I was the dogs danglies, the sublime canine, the pooch you would smooch. I mean, everyone wanted to do it in this doggies style. Now, you don't race for a bit and all the things you hold dear - like a little surf on the internet for pictures of Hollyoaks 'actresses' - are taken away from you. Apparently the other dogs would get jealous to see me on the computer (we have a communal one here at the kennels) and so JC suggested that I don't write on my blog for a while.

Obviously, I couldn't be putting up with it for too long and so I had to take the law into my own hands. This street dog had to employ a couple of lessons he picked up from the University of Life (where I got an upper second by the way). That's right, I went and got my own yaptop.

So not to worry people, I'm back, raring to go, should be racing again soon and I've also got a stack of new celebrity messages in the bag, including two footballing legends, a number 1 recording artist, an acting legend and a cricket bad boy. Oh yeah, and Dr Fox.

So keep your eyes peeled, I am going to try and be back on in a couple of days with the latest offerings for my faithful.

It's good to be back.

Peace, Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

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